


The Aftermath

by StumpyTPDimples



Series: Hawk-Guy series [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-19
Updated: 2015-08-20
Packaged: 2018-04-15 14:41:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 62,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4610586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StumpyTPDimples/pseuds/StumpyTPDimples
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hawkeye, battered, bloody, beaten and bruised, deals with the events of New York with the help of his long term partner Black Widow.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> Started in 2013  
> Finished in 2015  
> Enjoy :)

The wall under him was solid, the rubble supporting his back all the more so. Unlike him. New York was in chaos, sure the fighting was finished with, the Chitauri defeated and lying dead at his feet, but the emergency services and military were frantically running around attending to people.

He paid them no attention. He was beaten, bruised, bloody, exhausted, and above all; guilt stricken. Clint Barton was a broken man in a broken city.

He had to think about how he got here, sitting on one of the only remaining walls in the city. He had glass sticking from his back from crashing through the window, though he hadn't noticed it yet. He had a terrible headache and it was clear from the matted hair on the back of his head that he was busted open. His shoulder ached, no doubt a bit of damage done, his ribs hurt, and he could go on about the injuries but the list of what wasn't intact would be a lot shorter.

Who actually won today? That's all that he could think of as he sat there, his bow on his lap and his empty quiver on his back. He looked around when he heard Hulk give an almighty roar, faintly hearing Stark in the comms set he still had in his ear afterwards.

The Chitauri lay lifeless, that's what they'd consider a victory. But as he looked around at the fire, rubble, and destruction he could tell there were no winners in this little conflict. And what's worse is it's his entire fault. He had the opportunity to stop Loki the second he set foot on Earth, but he was too weak minded and was so easily compromised. It sickened him.

"Don't do that to yourself, Clint." He could hear Natasha's voice as clear as day, as if it was transmitted through his comms like Stark's ramble about shawarma was right now. He quickly shook his head to try get rid of thoughts before something hit him. 

Natasha.

He looked around frantically, adrenaline making him stand up. He was disorientated and couldn't figure out how to find out if she was ok. Of course, he has his comms, but his mind was so messed up after the past few days that he couldn't think to use them. So, he started walking, ignoring queries by military officials as to what business he had going past the blockades set up. Their excuses ranged from they were ordered to their just trying to help the civilians. The latter was said so many times, it eventually made him snap.

"You say you help the people!?" He snapped at one young officer trying to keep him back. "Look around you! While you hid like cowards we risked everything to help!"

The young man was gobsmacked at Clint's outburst, so he just let him through. He walked with his bow in his hand, one arrow now in his quiver since he ripped it from a Chitauri's chest as he passed.

"Eh… Legolas…?" Tony's startled and somewhat approachful voice said over the comms. Barton stopped, holding the earpiece in its place.

"Position, agent." Steve's calmer voice added, causing Barton to look around.

"About two blocks from Stark's tower." He answered through a sigh, and started heading there even before Rogers told him to.

"Clint..? Are you ok..?" Romanoff's voice came through, earning a smile from the male in question. She was alive and sounded well. He waited until he was walking into the lobby of Starks tower and into the elevator before replying.

"Now? Never better."

The elevator doors opened up to the destroyed room at the top of the tower. He gave a weak smile to Natasha and went over to her, noting the unconscious Loki at her feet.

The two assassins said nothing, they just hugged eachother tightly. Barton didn't care about the pain it caused him, his partner had survived the fight with nothing more than what seemed to be a little gash on her forehead.

She was still there with him, still around, still there to be his partner, to tease him, to help him, to be a friend.  
He always wanted that bit more though..

They looked over to the elevator when the doors opened again, Thor Stark and Rogers walking out from it with Hulk currently climbing the side of the building.

"None lost. That's good." Thor noted in his unusually cheery voice. It was after a battle, a successful battle, Barton couldn't help but think if that's worth celebrating on Asgard, a barely won fight.

When a sound came from Loki, Clint acted on instinct. He hadn't noticed it, but Natasha's arm was around his waist supporting him. He probably looked unsteady to her. Either way, he moved to kneel next to Loki and careful draw the remaining arrow back on the bow. It was aimed right at the defeated God's face as the other Avengers gather around him.

"If it's all the same to you.." The Asgardian started, grunting slightly as he shifted his position, "I'll have that drink now."

How Barton wanted to send that arrow through that smug bastards eye.


	2. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story alternates between Natasha and Clint POV throughout.

The portal was closed and he hadn't come back. That smug little idiot of a genius hadn't made it. Natasha Romanoff watched with held breath for something, any sign that Stark was ok.

Just when she was about to give up, a shiny yellow and red suit started falling from the sky. She let out a relieved laugh, something she never did before but, then again, she never fought aliens or met gods before. Gods.. One of which was in the very building she was standing on.

She looked down and squinted to see the captain, the hulk, the god, and the self-proclaimed philanthropist all alive and well. She was glad.

She looked to Doctor Selvig who was on the roof with her and gave a curt nod.

"Thank you for your help, Doctor. If you go out to the street past the barricades there should be medical huts." She said in her usual calm demeanour, to which the older gentleman nodded and headed off.

She headed into the building when she felt it safe to do so, mainly to guard the God inside, but also because she just couldn't face the ruined city any longer. She had been on many missions, been through a lot, seen many ruined places, but seeing such a proud city demolished so easily got to her.

She gave a little amused laughed at the sound of Stark asking for Shawarma over her ear piece. Always the joker, though he did save everyone with his little stunt so she shouldn't tease him.

She got herself a bottle of water and stood, sceptre in one hand, bottle in the other, watching the defeated God incase he awoke.  
It was a few moments before the cracky voice of her partner came over the comms.

"You say you help the people!?" He snapped, the tone of his voice causing the Black Widow's eyes to widen slightly. "Look around you! While you hid like cowards we risked everything to help!"

He never sounded like that. Sure, he got angry sometimes, especially on missions when one target wouldn't give info or when some bullshit orders were given to him. But he just snapped at, what she assumed was, someone innocently trying to do their best to help.

She faintly heard the little exchange between Stark, Rogers and her partner. She waited a moment or two, eyes on Loki as she thought about everything. Did Loki fuck up her partners head more than she thought? Maybe he was just tired. She knows they didn't sleep when under Loki's control; each person under it was forced to work all through the day and night to get things ready for the invasion. She prayed then that it was just exhaustion.

"Clint..? Are you ok..?" She said softly into her receiver, afraid of him snapping again. She knew she should call him Hawkeye while on mission, but she was worried about him. Not that she'd ever say it to him, but he was the most vulnerable of the lot. She had trained for years of her life in combat and barely felt any pain right now, Steve was a super soldier who could recover in seconds, Thor a God, Hulk a monster and Stark protected by a suit of armour. But The Hawk? He was the best marksman around but if he got into a close fight with those aliens, aliens who were strong enough to even hurt Thor, then she worried for his safety.

His soft almost happy reply surprised her. "Now? Never better."

How she wished that was the case. When the elevator doors opened to reveal him, she was gobsmacked at the way he looked. How he was walking, she didn't know. He was pale and wobbling slightly, though she couldn't see the worse damages being the shards in his back, the gash on his head and the bruising beneath his shirt.

She was by Loki so she hoped he thought that the reason she wasn't moving was to guard the God. The real reason was she was in shock. He'd been shot before, hurt before, rendered unconscious for days at a time on her watch, but she was always there for those battles. This time, he went off looking fine and healthy and came back like this.

They hugged. And she clung to him. She needed that familiarity, the warmth he always had, to remind her that he wasn't going anywhere.

Wasn't going anywhere..? Why was she thinking like that? So what if he did, people can make their own minds up, she was left enough times to feel nothing.

But even though she wanted it to stop, she couldn't shake the hurt at the mere thought that he could be gone from her life.

They looked over to the elevator when the doors opened again, Thor Stark and Rogers walking out from it with Hulk currently climbing the side of the building.

"None lost. That's good." Thor noted in his unusually cheery voice. It was after a battle, a successful battle, of course he was happy. When Barton turned and wobbled she had to put her arm around his waist to help him.

A sound came from Loki, and Clint slowly left her side. She was worried he'd fall, but maybe it was just the spin that made him dizzy. He moved to kneel next to Loki and carefully drew the remaining arrow back on the bow. It was aimed right at the defeated God's face as the other Avengers gather around him.

"If it's all the same to you.." The Asgardian started, grunting slightly as he shifted his position, "I'll have that drink now."

She wondered then and there, if Barton would allow her stab him with the arrow.


	3. Chapter 3

The cube that caused all the devastation just outside the window was placed in front of the defeated God. Thor stepped back next to Banner, who had shrunk down to his human form and was watching the cube curiously, as were the other Avengers. Barton couldn't help but wonder why Thor would place such a destructive force so close to the guy who used said force to level New York.

Before he could ask, however, the cube shot up beams to the ceiling around Loki, trapping him inside a cube of pure energy.

All bar Thor and Loki jumped slightly from shock.

"I so need one of those.." Stark noted with a slight grin, walking around the little prison of sorts to examine it.

Barton paid no attention to Tony, who was listing off things he could do with just a little bit of the cube in his suit.

No. The marksman was too busy staring at the Trickster God. Loki's gaze was down cast though.

Normally, Barton would be happy at that, if it was the normal "Shit, my ass has been royally handed to me!" downcast gaze.

It was not. Not in the slightest. The slight smile on Loki's face, the way he simply sat cross legged in the middle of his prison, the fact that he looked better right now than Barton. The only reason the former Asgardian wasn't looking at them was because he still felt superior.

Clint growled and balled his hands into fists. That smug bastard didn't even care about how many lives he destroyed!

His wounds weren't tended to yet. The other Avengers were more or less intact, the worst injury between all of them being the slight gash on Natasha's head. Even that had stopped bleeding by that time.

Barton was too proud a man to admit his injuries. So, he was sticking it out. He still had the shards in his back, still had a thumping headache, a shoulder ache, again; the list goes on and on. But he'd admit none of them to the others.

Without realising it, he was alone in the small room with the prisoner. The others had left the room to get themselves settled; he was just too lost in his thoughts to realise.

He stayed staring at the defeated man in front of him, his arms folded across his chest as he stared.

"The one with heart doesn't speak..?" Loki asked after about ten minutes alone, his gaze still diverted elsewhere. "He was a very chatty asset when under my control."  
Barton didn't have to answer him. If anything, Loki had to answer them.

"Tell me.. What troubles you..?" He adds with a smirk, finally eyeing the assassin up and down. "The war is won. I've been defeated. Why not celebrate like the others?"

"Do you even care?" Clint asked quietly, glaring at the God as he spoke. "You destroyed thousands of lives, put people through hell, and risked the Earth, all for what? An ego boost?"

Loki just stared now; Barton was slightly unhinged by it. Those eyes just freaked him out. Suddenly, the trickster let out a laugh.

"I've seen you, Clint. Seen the real you. Your past, your fears, your triumphs, your pit falls.." He listed off, leaning slightly before saying the last part. "Your loves.. I know you're not a fighter, no, no. Far from it. You'd rather be at a range with a target and a bow like those old circus days of yours.."

Clint looked down awkwardly. Not a lot of people know about his time before SHIELD. His family, how he survived without parents, how he got by. He hoped no one was around to hear Loki because he really didn't want to explain that comment.

The difference in Clint's demeanour was easily picked up by the God. It gave him great enjoyment watching him squirm.

"So, what was it then..?" He asks casually, his head tilted slightly to the side. "Was it that other love that convinced you to wade into the fight..? Did this other love need to be protected..?"

"Shut your mouth.." Clint muttered under his breath, his hands now at his side formed into fists. He should just leave, get out of the room and leave the God in his solitude. But his body just wouldn't let him. "You don't know me.. You have no ri.."

He was cut off by Loki's booming laugh. God, that sound annoyed the living daylights out of the agent!

"I don't know you? Is that what you think?" He asks with a grin, shaking his head in amusement. "I think I know you better than you know yourself!"

Clint just shook his head, rubbing the back of his neck as he turned to leave.

"Tell me, my warrior friend.." Loki said when Barton got to the door, causing the latter man to stop dead in his tracks. "Phil Coulson.. Noble man.. Why has he not appeared yet..?"

Clint raised an eyebrow at this. Coulson? He had no clue why he wouldn't show up to help in the fight. Hawk turned back to look at the God, and eyebrow raised in confusion.

"They haven't told you..?" Loki smirked, leaning back on his hands in a relaxed manner. "Oh this will be fun.. May I have some popcorn for when they do..?"

Barton got a sick twisting feeling in his stomach at those words. Told him what, exactly? He took out his phone and dialled Coulson's number, holding it to his ear as he waited. The smirk on Loki's face grew with each attempt.

"Quite a few agents were killed during my little attack, Clint.." Loki commented during Clint's seventh attempt at reaching Coulson. "Philip was close to you, a mentor.. A friend.."  
Barton lowered his phone and narrowed his eyes.

Coulson was the one who was always there for him at SHIELD, the one who helped him and trained him. The one who listened to his problems and stood by him. When he made the call not to kill Natasha, Coulson was the one in his corner defending him. Barton dare say that Coulson was a father to him.

He was always there and would always be there for him.

It was that very thought that made the next words Loki spoke make Clint's blood run cold.

"That's why I took great pleasure in stopping his heart."


	4. 4

The cube that caused all the devastation just outside the window was placed in front of the defeated God. Thor stepped back next to Banner, who had shrunk down to his human form and was watching the cube curiously, as were the other Avengers.

Natasha was pretty confused, but then again, she always was when it came to that block of power.

When the cube shot up beams to the ceiling around Loki, trapping him inside a cube of pure energy, she jumped from surprised, just like all the others unfamiliar with it's powers. She hummed in an understanding sort of way. So it could be used for other things then..

"I so need one of those.." Stark noted with a slight grin, walking around the little prison of sorts to examine it.

"For what, exactly?" She asked with her arms folded across her chest, watching as the billionaire examined the prison. Time for her to tease him like all the other times! "Trapping dates because you're too useless to get them?"

"Cute." Tony replied in his usual bored tone, the one he uses when she teases. It's how she knows she got to him! "Just imagine how even the slightest chunk of that in my suit could improve it.. So much easier to trap people.."

"No, metalman." Thor commented with a frown, stopping Stark as he was about to touch the wall of energy. "The Tesseract and everything to do with it are to be taken back to Asgard."

"We still have work to do on it." Stark argued with a frown, not liking his toy being taken away.

"OUT OF THE QUESTION! Look what that work drew to Earth!" The God of Thunder yelled, up in Starks face now.

This group was going to erupt one day.. And Romanoff will be there with a camera when it does!

"Alright, break it up!" Rogers shouted at the two males, causing both to look at him. "We all need to calm down. Fighting now would be useless."

"Steve's right." Banner added, Natasha noting that he was watching Clint.

She looked to her partner and frowned slightly. He hasn't said a word about any of this, and he refused to let Dr. Banner look him over. She'd talk to him later about everything.

"Come on then.. I'll show you where you'll each be staying." Tony said quietly, leading all the Avengers out of the room holding Loki.

They were in the lower parts of Stark Tower, the parts that were pretty much intact. No one argued with the idea of staying here. Tony glanced back at Romanoff and smirked.

"You'll find my bed surprisingly comfy, Agent Romanoff."

"Keep dreaming, big boy." She replied with a slight laugh. He was still the joker, even in these situations. She found it oddly refreshing.

When they were shown to their rooms, each person freshened up. Tony managed to get some soldiers to bring spare clothes, so they were all changed into something clean and comfortable.

Natasha was in the sitting area right now, relaxing back. Banner came in and smiled at her, sitting in the chair opposite her.

"No injuries?" He asked softly, his hands fiddling in the nervous way they did. She had always wondered why he did that.

"No, thankfully." She replied with a shake of her head, pulling a bit of her hair aside though. "Just a slight cut, that's all really."

"Good.." the doctor smiled, watching the floor now. "We have to get Barton checked.."

"Why..?" She asked cautiously, he was her partner, if something was ever wrong with him she'd be worried as hell.

"Not see him? He can barely stand." He noted with a questioning tone. The one that always made Natasha feel like a child. "He's not a monster, not a God, not a super soldier, not trained to fight and kill, and he doesn't have a suit of armour.. If I'm honest, I'm surprised he survived at all."

She had a thought about that. Barton was a good agent, an amazing fighter, but Banner had a good point. Natasha was brought up fighting, hell when she was young she fought her way through twenty men and barely got a scratch. But Barton grew up sheltered. As far as she knew, at least. The only training he ever had was basic SHIELD and his weapon training.

"I'll send him over to you later, if that's ok." She said in her usual neutral tone.

"That'll be fine. Can't be as bad as what I've seen in the past few years." He said with a nervous chuckle, causing Natasha to give a little smile. He did have it rough working out in the middle of no where, disease ridden places that no one would even think existed. She was surprised he never caught anything actually.

"WHAT WAS THAT!?" She suddenly heard being yelled, causing her and Banner to jump to their feet and run towards the room Loki was being held in.

That shout was Barton, she'd know his angry voice anywhere, she's heard it plenty of times on missions before after all. She just hoped he wouldn't do something stupid.


	5. 5

He didn't know how it happened, but he snapped.

Thinking back on it that's false. He knew exactly how I happened. He could feel it slip in his brain, see the red take over as his blood boiled to dangerous levels.

He could handle news like this any time. Death was a part of the job, he had plenty of agents die on him. All good friends. But this? It was different.

It was family.

"WHAT WAS THAT!?" He yelled at the god in front of him, taking some steps closer to the cube walls.

Loki smirked, this was what he wanted! "You heard me. I killed him. Nice little sceptre right through the chest. Should have seen it! He cried like a ba-"

He was cut off by Barton's hand wrapping around his throat. Hawkeye felt nothing though. He thought if any one even tipped off the wall they'd burn or something.

Yet, here he was. His hand was around the bastard's throat. And he loved it.

"Clint!" Barton heard being yelled, and he turned his head to look at a shocked Natasha who was standing in the doorway. She took a step closer, but when Barton drew his gun and pointed it at her, she backed off.

He was in NO mood for this!

"What's he saying, Tash!?" He demanded, though his voice was a little shaky. He still had one hand around Loki's throat, pinning him against the barrier's wall.

"Em, I believe I just told you." The god commented in his usual smug tone, though he was cut off again when Clint's hand squeezed tighter.

"Don't you dare speak." He growled, his eyes narrowing menacingly at Loki. "You have no right! You come to this planet and wreak havoc! All for what!? There's no prize here! All for fun and games!?"

Loki hummed in fake thought before nodding. "Pretty much."

Barton growled and turned his attention back to Romanoff, his eyes still cold as his voice now was. "What is he talking about? Where's Phil!?"

She stared at him for a moment before looking to ground. Why wouldn't she answer!? She was never evasive before! It was a trait he loved, he'd always get a straight answer, even too blunt a straight answer sometimes.

"She won't say, Clint." Loki said softly, causing Barton to turn his attention back to him. "Because she's part to blame. All of you are. Did you know she came to me while I was in the cell, wanting to know where you were?"

He figured she'd do that. They always looked out for each other. It was no surprise to Hawk. "So?"

"So, it wasn't out of concern. Or love. Or any of that." He said with a sly grin before vanishing, only to appear again behind Barton. He didn't miss a beat though, he had his gun trained on the god's head the second he reappeared. Loki held his hands up in a defensive pose, letting Barton know he wouldn't harm him. "It was out of longing. Longing to see you dead."

"That's not true! Clint, I would never do that! Just come out of there!" Natasha exclaimed a little too loudly, all the others running in at the sound. Thor looked to the cube in disbelief.

"Impossible!" Thor exclaimed, though Barton's eyes were still locked with Loki's, his finger itching to pull the trigger. "No human's spirit is strong enough to pass through!"

"Well obviously his is, dumb dumb!" Tony retorted, placing a hand on the barrier to see if it would yield for him. It did not.

"All of you, shut up." Barton growled, though his voice was growing darker and darker. He could slowly feel himself slipping.

Loki smirked and took a step closer, just to see what Barton would do. "Clint, listen to me. Not them. Were you ever as content as when you were with me? Were you not as clear, as focused, as at peace?"

Barton considered this for a moment, slowly lowering his weapon. It was all true. He was a better man when he was under Loki's control. He didn't think over trivial things, he didn't worry about what was going on with others. Other people's pain didn't pain him when he was with Loki.

He was the perfect soldier, the perfect spy, the one he always wanted to be since joining SHIELD. But people always got in the way, feelings and emotions constantly came into play, they made missions more difficult when they should have been simple and straightforward.

Fury, Coulson, even Romanoff, none of them helped the way Loki did.

"I was..." He replied in a quiet tone, causing Loki to smirk. Barton's eyes were fading, and he couldn't hear the others anymore. No matter how much they shouted for him to snap out of it.

All that he could hear was Loki's voice now, what he considered right now to be truth.

"Phil was one lost for the many." The god continued, taking baby steps towards Barton once the weapon was completely lowered. "You may have idolized him, may have even loved him. But they're just illusions, Clint. He knew that, that's why he had no issues with sacrificing himself, leaving you all alone. Leave this cell, forget the others, and finish my work. None of them care about you. Your own partner thinks you a liability. She begged me to kill you. Kill her, Clint. You have a gun, just step out and kill her"

Thor barged through the barrier then, hammer in hand and a stern look on his face. Clint was right about the barrier, even Thor's cape was scorched at the end. "Enough Loki! Leave him alone!"

"No." Barton said quietly, going to stand next to Loki. He didn't raise his gun though. He knew it would have next to no effect with Thor's hammer in his hand.

"No? Do you not know what he's doing, Barton? He's playing you!" Thor countered, his glare trained on Loki, though the latter was just smirking.

"I'm doing no such thing, brother." Loki said as he sat down, looking from Thor to Clint and back again. "I merely told him truth. He knows I'm right about these things."

Barton looked to Loki and nodded, pushing past Thor then and out of the barrier. All the others stared at him, then took a defensive pose when he trained his gun right at Natasha's head.

"What are you playing at!?" Tony demanded, though Barton knew without his suit he was no good against a gun.

He weighed his options then. He had Tony, Steve, Banner and, of course, Natasha. Banner and Steve were the main threats right now, judging from the shocked look on Romanoff's face, he doubted she'd be able to do much.

"Clint... This isn't you." She whispered, taking a tentative step towards him.

"Don't." He growled, tightening his hold on his gun. She was the enemy. He could see clearly now. She needed to be eliminated. They all needed to be eliminated. "Don't start with your nonsense."

"Barton. Lower the weapon." Steve said sternly, having gone to stand next to the widow.

Clint just scoffed, smirking at Steve then. "Why? You should be joining me, Cap! They lied. They're all liars. You're just like me!"

"I am like you. Just like you. I'm a good guy. You are too." Rogers responded a little softer, Barton was trying to figure out if he was sincere about it or trying to trick him.

Trick him.

Definitely.

"Captain, they took our families from us. They took everyone we love. They lied to us. Or was that someone else's fake hospital room I guarded?"

Steve had no answer, he looked to Tony who just shook his head. Cap sighed and began whispering in Romanoff's ear, about what, Barton couldn't tell.

"Clint..." Romanoff whispered, ignoring the comments from Tony and Steve when she went closer to Barton. "Pull the trigger."

He went slightly wide eyed at that, watching her as she got close enough to place a hand on the gun. She moved it so the barrel was resting against her forehead.

"Do it. If you want me dead, kill me. You were ordered to long ago, right?"

He nods. It was true. He made a different call. He disobeyed orders, he got in shit for it, hell, he was nearly on the hit list himself for treason. All the more reason she should die, that's the conclusion he came to.

But why couldn't he pull the trigger!? He wanted to. What was stopping him?

"This is Loki. Not you." She whispered, her hand going to gently stroke his cheek. Still no trigger pulled. "He's back in your head. He's making you hate me. Don't let him do that."

He shook his head ferociously. "You've lied to me from the start! You're lying now!"

"We're spies. We lie for liars, that's true." She said with a sad smile. His hand had begun to shake, she admitted it! "But Clint... I have never and will never lie to you."

Her voice was soft, something he hadn't heard in a long time. She always had that voice when he was injured, mainly on missions. "Remember one of our first missions? We were sent out to Bangkok for surveillance of Russian spies." He just nodded, noting that she gave a little smile when he did. "I lost your quiver of bows, remember? Forgot them in one of the hideouts... You got so annoyed because they were all you brought and were your trick shot ones, I tried lie and say they were stolen, but you saw right through me..."

"I... I broke your widowbites as revenge.. You broke my nose..." He whispered back, hearing Natasha give a slight laugh then.

"That's right... You've always known when I was lying, every time I tried... this time is no different, Clint..."

His hand began to lower, the gun slipping down to his side. He was staring at her now, completely and totally confused.

"No." He shook his head again, the gun falling so his hands could grip his head. "You never told me about Phil! You lied to me! He's gone, Tash!"

He yelled the last part, falling to his knees with a sob. He barely hit the ground before he felt arms wrap around him, knowing instantly it was his partner.

He just cried into her shoulder as she hugged him. Phil was gone. The one guy who looked out for him was gone. His boss, his mentor, his friend, hell, his might-as-well-be-father was taken from him. What was he going to do now!?

"Shh Clint..." He heard whispered after a while, his sobbing fading to just a few every now and then. "We're going to let you rest a while..."

He was about to ask what she meant before he felt a jab in his arm. The liquid was in his system before he could protest, and he felt his mind slowly go blank.

As he drifted into the world of darkness, one final thought crossed his mind; Loki had broken him.


	6. 6

Natasha and Banner got there just in time to see something unbelievable. She watched in amazement as Barton passed through the barrier like it never even existed.

Though, it did, the sizzling and smell of burnt fabric enforced that point. How he got through was a mystery to her. She stepped closer to it when she saw her partners hand wrap around the god's throat.

"Clint!" She called out to him, hoping that he'd be able to hear her through the barrier. He did, she figured, because he turned his head. She took a step closer when he did, but quickly backed off when a gun was pointed straight at her.

He never did that. Not once. Even when he was sent to kill her, she never saw a gun pointed at her from him. Sparring and that time on the airship during Loki's attack, that's the only time when an arrow was flung at her.

"What's he saying, Tash!?" He demanded, though his voice was a little shaky. He still had one hand around Loki's throat, pinning him against the barrier's wall.

"I don't know..." She whispered with a shake of her head, still a little shocked at the gun.

He didn't see though, his attention was turned back to Loki as there was an exchange between the two.

After they finished, she could hear Barton growl as he turned his attention back to Romanoff, his eyes cold as his voice now was. "What is he talking about? Where's Phil!?"

She stared at him for a moment before looking to ground. So that's what the god spoke to him about. They hadn't gotten a chance to tell Clint about Phil. She needed him strong and concentrated during the battle, so there was no way she'd have told him before. And he was hurt after, she wanted him to heal up first.

But now, that bastards had told him before they could. No wonder there was a gun pointed at her...

"She won't say, Clint." Loki said softly, causing Barton to turn his attention back to him. "Because she's part to blame. All of you are. Did you know she came to me while I was in the cell, wanting to know where you were?"

Natasha looked back up to them when she heard this. Clint knew she'd do that. They're partners. She cared more for him than she did for herself. She just watched as Barton asked 'so?'

"So, it wasn't out of concern. Or love. Or any of that." He said with a sly grin before vanishing, only to appear again behind Barton. He didn't miss a beat though, he had his gun trained on the god's head the second he reappeared. Even though shocked at Loki's words, she couldn't help but be proud of Clint's marksman skills. "It was out of longing. Longing to see you dead."

"That's not true! Clint, I would never do that! Just come out of there!" Natasha exclaimed a little too loudly, all the others running in at the sound. She knew Loki was playing him, and if he didn't get out soon, she didn't know what would happen. Thor looked to the cube in disbelief.

"Impossible!" Thor exclaimed, Natasha looking to him curiously. "No human's spirit is strong enough to pass through!"

"Well obviously his is, dumb dumb!" Tony retorted, placing a hand on the barrier to see if it would yield for him. It did not.

The two inside the cube continued with their debate while Thor examined the structure.

"How long has he been in there?" Thor asked through a growl, poking at the walls. Romanoff guessed he was looking for a weak spot to pass through.

"Long enough aim at Natasha." Banner commented as he stood by the door, scanning the room nervously. She hoped he wasn't planning on hulking out on them. She already had Barton to worry about.

"He did what?" Steve asked in shock, looking to Romanoff with a slight frown.

"It was nothing... Loki's just playing him." She shrugged off, watching as Thor finally found a space to enter the cube through.

"What are you talking about?" Tony asked with an eye roll, his arms folded across his chest. "Barton wouldn't let that happen a second time."

Just as he said that, Hawkeye stepped out of the cube. Natasha was happy for about two seconds before she noticed his faded eyes, then the gun trained right on her. What had Loki done to him..?

"What are you playing at!?" Tony demanded, though with no armour, Natasha knew a gun would kill him no problem.

Steve would be fine. She read the files, the serum running through his veins would heal the bullet wound before it even stopped moving. Banner, well, he already told them about the 'other guy's' ability to simply spit a bullet out. Thor was a little busy with his trickster brother to help pit. And her, well, she's the most vulnerable of them all right now. 

Against her partner, her best friend, the guy she swore she'd protect all those years ago, she's defenceless.

"Clint... This isn't you." She whispered, taking a tentative step towards him.

"Don't." He growled, tightening his hold on his gun. She stopped. She didn't want him to feel threatened any more than he does. "Don't start with your nonsense."

"Barton. Lower the weapon." Steve said sternly, having gone to stand next to the widow.

Clint just scoffed, smirking at Steve then. "Why? You should be joining me, Cap! They lied. They're all liars. You're just like me!"

"I am like you. Just like you. I'm a good guy. You are too." Rogers responded a little softer, and Natasha nodded in agreement. He was the best guy she knew.

He shouldn't even be a spy, he's too soft. He cares too much for people. He's one of the best around, the best shooter she's ever seen, and she grew up with guys who trained, no lie, since they were 5 at shooting.

But Clint, he was different. Those guys resented people too much. They let anger control it. Her partner, however, always managed to keep a level head and an open heart, which is why his shots always hit their targets.

"Captain, they took our families from us. They took everyone we love. They lied to us. Or was that someone else's fake hospital room I guarded?"

Steve had no answer, he looked to Tony who just shook his head. He leaned in then to Natasha, Tony doing the same so he could hear.

"If he's out for you, leave. Tony and I will keep him distracted so you can slip out." She wouldn't do that. She knew Steve's plans were fool proof. He was a genius, maybe not in the Tony Stark sense of the word, but when it came to these situations, he was better than the Mechanical Engineer will ever be.

"Clint..." Romanoff whispered, ignoring the plan completely. He never misses. Not from this distance especially. Be she by Steve and Tony, or right in front, the Hawk never misses. 

So, she carefully took hold of the gun and put the cold metal of the barrel against her forehead. "Pull the trigger."

He went slightly wide eyed at that, which she didn't think he would. He'd hardly of expected her to beg and plead and cry. He knew her better than that.

"Do it. If you want me dead, kill me. You were ordered to long ago, right?"

He nods. It was true. He made a different call. He disobeyed orders, he got in shit for it, hell, he was nearly on the hit list himself for treason. She should have died by his hand a long time ago. If he wanted to do it now instead of then, well, she had no problem with that.

But the trigger still wasn't pulled. So her partner was still behind those cold, sullen eyes. She kept going, hoping to snap him out of it. She figured a knock to the head wouldn't work this time.

"This is Loki. Not you." She whispered, her hand going to gently stroke his cheek. Still no trigger pulled. "He's back in your head. He's making you hate me. Don't let him do that."

He shook his head ferociously. "You've lied to me from the start! You're lying now!"

"We're spies. We lie for liars, that's true." She said with a sad smile. His hand had begun to shake when she said it. Maybe that's all he wanted to hear, that she lied. "But Clint... I have never and will never lie to you."

Her voice was soft, something he hadn't heard in a long time, hell, something she hadn't heard in a long time. She always had that voice when he was injured, mainly on missions. As hard as she was, she never liked him in pain. "Remember one of our first missions? We were sent out to Bangkok for surveillance of Russian spies." He just nodded, so she gave a smile. He had memories of her left, good ones, not just bad...

"I lost your quiver of arrows, remember? Forgot them in one of the hideouts... You got so annoyed because they were all you brought and were your trick shot ones, I tried lie and say they were stolen, but you saw right through me..."  
"I... I broke your widowbites as revenge.. You broke my nose..." He whispered back, to which she laughed. It wasn't her proudest moment, but they were only getting to know each other at that stage.

"That's right... You've always known when I was lying, every time I tried... this time is no different, Clint..."

His hand began to lower, the gun slipping down to his side. He was staring at her now, a look of confusion crossing his pale face.

"No." He shook his head again, the gun falling so his hands could grip his head. "You never told me about Phil! You lied to me! He's gone, Tash!"

He yelled the last part, falling to his knees with a sob. He barely hit the ground before Natasha caught him. She knelt there next to him, letting him get everything out.

He cried into her shoulder for five minutes, which turned to ten, and it kept going.

"What do we do with him..?" Steve asked in a whisper from Clint's other side, he knelt down there just after Hawk did. Tony, Banner and now Thor were standing around him as well. Tash could tell they were all worried.

"I don't know..." She whispered back, her hand running through his hair gently to soothe him. She was careful though, she knew he still didn't have his injuries checked. Who knows how badly he's hurt. "This is new even for me..."

"Knock him out." Tony said with a shrug, he never was the kindest. He shook his head when Natasha sent him glare. "Not in the whack over the head sense. There's some pretty powerful pain killers in the first aid kid. They'll knock him right out."

She sighed and nodded, it did seem like the best thing right now. So, Banner went to get the syringe with the liquid in it. She knew he'd hate this. He never liked needles.

"Shh Clint..." She whispered after fifteen minutes, his sobs had faded but he was still shaky. "We're going to let you rest a while..."

She nodded to Banner who carefully injected the medicine into Barton's arm. She hugged him close as he drifted off.

He got heavier and heavier until he went limp, completely conked out. She allowed Steve to carefully pick him up. As she followed the Captain out she thought about what just happened. He never cried like that. Never acted that way. Not in the many years they've been together. That god of mischief and trickery did something to the Hawkeye that she never thought she'd admit.

Her partner, her best friend, Loki had broken him.


	7. 7

It was dark. The blackest of blacks. So black in fact that he couldn't see his hand in front of his face. It was cold as well. But not some winter chill that might make your skin prickle with goose bumps, this was different. It was a cold he felt a million times before and will, no doubt, feel a million times again.

It was a nervous cold. A cold that warned of something bad happening. He's been getting this feeling far too much recently.

He opened his eyes slowly and glanced around at the newest abandoned house he called a home. Needless to say, things haven't been great since he left the circus. Sure, it was rough there too, but at least he had a place to stay. A family.

"Family." He scoffed at that thought, sitting up with a grunt on his make shift bed then.

Family. What a pathetic word to think of. His parents were no longer here, his brother left him even after working tirelessly for him. Family no longer concerned Clint Barton.

His day started like every other; the abandoned places he stayed in usually had a little trickle of water in a leaky tap, so he'd wash himself with whatever was there. He'd then eat a   
breakfast of some crackers, pack up his duffle bag, and move on to the next spot he could find.

Why was he constantly moving? Well, he was an ace marksman, an expert archer, he showed those skills day in and day out, so to say he was currently on people's radar would be a massive understatement.

AND it wasn't in the good way either. It wasn't in the way of people wanting to hire him for acts or offer him a job, no. It was people thinking him a liability, others thinking him a threat.

Either way you look at it, he was a highly hunted man.

He never meant to be. He wanted to be a hero, someone kids look up to and are inspired by. He wanted to be like Iron Man! Man oh man was that guy good! He wanted to see kids dressed in little versions of his outfit at Halloween, little bows slung on their back as they trick or treated at the house he'd finally be able to buy. He wanted to save people, help the world.

But, when he attempted to, it didn't work out too good.. Long story short, his first attempt at being Hawkeye the hero rather than Hawkeye "the world's greatest trickshot!", well, they thought him a thief.

Took him a while to shake that label, the label of thief and criminal, well, because he turned into that.

It all changed suddenly though. That day with the chill and abandoned house. He was barely a step out of the derelict building when he was approached by a group of men and huddled into a van.

Terrified wasn't even the word for it. There were too many to fight off, he did that math as he was forced into a chair, though he did kick and yell and even managed to clock one on the nose with an elbow.

He looked around his surroundings, the back of a small van. Well, from the outside it looked small at least, inside there was room for the chair he was currently in, space for the big guy, two actually, either side of him. Computer screens lined the walls too. Just where was he?

"Mr. Barton. Sorry for the crudeness of our meeting." He looked to the voice in fear, only to find.. someone who definitely wasn't assassin material. Thin, kind of old looking, dressed in a nice suit and holding a warm smile. It settled Clint immensely. "I'm agent Coulson with the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division."

Clint stared at him, trying to mouth along the long name with a confused face.

"Just call us SHIELD." The man said through a chuckle, holding up his hand to try stop Clint repeating it. Far too convenient a letter list, if you asked him. Though he later learned it had a must more sinister sounding name. They must change it from Strategic Hazard Intervention Espionage Logistics Directorate so as not to scare new recruits.

"Ok.. Well what would homeland security want with me? I'm no threat." Clint asked with a frown, watching the man curiously.

He gathered he wasn't being arrested, no handcuffs were on him and the atmosphere seemed too relaxed.

"Not a threat, no. And we're not the conventional branch of homeland security." Coulson said with a shake of his head, handing the marksman a file then.

Barton opened it and his eyes went wide, growing even more so with each page turn. It was him. He was in a file. Every single little moment of his circus and criminal life laid out in pictures and documents. Numerous shots of his shows, close ups of each trick arrow he used, the beating he received leaving him for dead, the fights with people in the circus, the attempts at superhero duties, the robberies, everything had a picture and a document with the heading 'Motive, actions, outcome, conclusion' on them.

The end surprised him most, it was a simple letter to the agent Coulson infront of him from someone named Fury.

"Coulson's Requested Clint 'Hawkeye' Barton accepted. Pick up 48 hours. –Fury."

"W-who are you people..?" He finally asked, looking around at the men in the van with a new found terror.

"SHIELD." Coulson simply replied, that warm smile still there. "We want you to join."

"Join what?" His question was met with a simple laugh and he felt the van begin to move.

"Just agree. If you don't like it, you can leave."

So he agreed. And he stayed. It promised a hot meal and a nice bed. That man, Agent Coulson, trained him up to near army standards. His shot needed no work, but Clint wasn't really an athlete at that time, so by god did he need some physical training.

Coulson was a nice man. Genuine. Though, a lot of times he seemed secretive, aloof even, Clint could tell he was a gentle soul at heart. Even when he did choke Barton out showing him a hold, the next few days of non-stop apologising had him wondering why such a man was even in an organisation such as SHIELD.

"I'm good at what I do. Keep your arm up." Was his response to Clint's question, stupid of him to ask during a sparring session because the momentary lapse in concentration allowed Coulson slam him hard on the mat. He couldn't shake the headache from that mistake for a week.

It was soon clear that he was under Coulson's command. While, over all, he received his missions from this Fury guy, it was always Coulson that would command him through the missions.

They got a bit repetitive after a while. Being an ace marksman, it was usually sniper duties or protection decals. But he was finally doing honest work. Finally being the good guy in the world.

There was something he needed help with though, that Coulson was still, about a year into Barton's work with SHIELD, trying to get rid of.

His conscience.

Barton had racked up an impressive kill list. All wanted by various US and international authorities. All criminals, scum, the lowest of the low. To all extents purposes, he was a hero. He was saving the world from international and home catastrophes. He was saving billions of lives by erasing one.

Well, the count at that point was more like 137.

But Barton would feel bad after every single one. He would struggle with his actions for weeks after a mission. Coulson would find him in the training yard at all hours of the night, always after he'd cross another name out of agent's bingo books. It's not an uncommon trait. Not by a longshot. But most agents are over it in the first few months. It could and would lead to problems if left un checked.

Barton would go missing for hours on end, turn up for training, then leave again. Finally, Coulson found him one day. Only because he used the tracker embedded in the archer's arm.

"You're a gentle soul, Hawk." Coulson commented late one night, early one morning, whatever you would call 4:48am, as he crawled through the rafters above the training ground. Barton was hugging the post, just watching the empty floor below.

"Most people would call that weakness, sir." Clint responded with a shake of his head, not even looking at the man who was struggling to shift into a seated position.

The past year did Clint physical good. Proper food, training, and a warm place to stay all meant he finally looked and felt healthy. He had put on good weight and muscle and looked like an agent.

It did the opposite to his mental good though. All the missions, the killings, the screams. All the injuries and times he's been captured and tortured for information he never even knew existed. It took away the joker quality in him. It turned him serious. He wasn't Clint anymore. He was Hawkeye. He was a SHIELD agent. He was serious and deadly.

"Those people are fools." Coulson shrugged, sighing then when he finally found a way to sit like his apprentice. "The ability to feel, mourn, celebrate, laugh, cry, mixed with the skills you have.. That's what makes a top agent. That's what makes you a top agent."

"What about you, sir.." Clint began softly, closing his eyes from tiredness. "How many sleepless nights have you had during your time here..?"

"I still have them.." He smiled, Barton's head moving to look to him. "Why else would I be here talking to you at this hour?"

Barton didn't know how to respond, he just watched the man who trained him gently squeeze his shoulder.  
"You're human. Not a machine. Don't forget that. I miss the annoying idiot who shot apples out of people's hands in the cafeteria. If you're up, go down there and shoot." He gave Clint one last smile and nodded to the training ground, turning to crawl back out of the rafters then. "And call me Phil. Sir makes me sound old."

Clint Barton genuinely felt happy for the first time in a long time. As he jumped from the ceiling to shoot targets, he recalled the advice just given by his mentor. That wasn't superior advising an apprentice.

No.

That was a father advising a son.

\----------------------------

His nerves were gone as he sat in the office. He wasn't expecting it to be how it was. He was expecting dark and dreary, grey walls with one simple light. But instead, it was an open office. Windows covered one corner behind the diagonally positioned desk, allowing a beautiful filter of natural light into the space. The walls were grey, yes, but a soft grey that felt warm. The wall behind the chair he was sitting on was blank. Though, knowing the rest of the rooms in this building, it no doubt held a screen activated by the owner's voice.

He never thought Nick Fury to be an actual guy. He was always given orders by him, but never heard his voice. He thought it was some mysterious controller, like Charlie from Charlie's Angels.

The man who walked into the office scared the ever loving crap out of him. The only reason he didn't freak was because Coulson walked in behind Fury, looking happy as ever.

Barton stood to attention when they entered, shaking Fury's hand when offered. He was trying his absolute best not to stare at the eye patch.

"You don't want to know, kid." Fury said with a slight smirk, causing Clint to assume he was asked a lot how he got the patch. Nick went around and took his seat, motioning Barton to do the same.

So he did. Coulson hovering in the background.

"Sorry it took so long to meet. A lot of agents in this place I still have to talk to." Fury said in a bored tone, flicking through some files on his desk, trying to find the one he needed. "Though Coulson talked my ear off about you before you even arrived, so I know enough."

Clint looked back to his mentor in surprise, just earning a smile and a motion that said turn back around.

"Well.. Thank you sir." Clint said quietly, not knowing if he should nor how to respond. He received just a nod.

"How's Cap guarding duty? Giving your back time to heal?" Fury asked as he watched Clint, to which the Hawk nodded.

"Yes sir. Thank you for giving me the time off missions." He said a little braver, feeling a little at ease with how Fury was talking to him. Not a scolding boss way, it was just like he was a friend genuinely curious.

He had been off missions for six months with back issues. Damn thing was nearly snapped in half during a mission in Japan. He always thought Ninjas to be a joke, a kid game or movie basis. He now knew them to be real and fucking lethal.

Desk work bored him too much so he was over joyed when Coulson offered him the duty of guarding Captain America's.. well.. 'hospital room'.

"You won't thank me if he wakes during your shift." Fury laughed, and Barton wondered what he meant, though he didn't have time to react. A file was pushed across the table infront of him.

"If you're all healed up, I have a new mission for you. Top secret." Fury said in a slightly more serious tone, telling the office to lock down then. The windows went black and a light came on, Clint assumed no sound could travel out or in. "Russian KGB group has been a thorn in my side for as long as I can remember. Now, their newest asset has got on my radar. And not in a good way. She'll be difficult. Credited with too many assassinations and take downs for me to feel comfortable disclosing. She landed in America about two years ago and targeted Stark Industries. I don't want to know why, I just want her dead. Got it?"

Clint nodded, knowing it must be a serious mission if he was called in to discuss it personally.

Regardless of this persons skill sets, he could take her out no problem.

Though he ran into an issue when he opened the folder. The picture staring back at him wasn't the first time he's seen this face. The gentle curve of her lips, the bright red hair, those eyes, though in a picture, as mesmerizing as ever.

"She goes by Black Widow. Squash that bug."

Clint looked from the picture, to Fury, and back again, getting lost in those eyes for the billionth time. He wouldn't be able to kill the person staring back at him.

He wouldn't for the simple fact that the first time he met those eyes, he fell in love with the owner straight away.

Things suddenly went fuzzy as Fury went on about the details of the mission, and Clint didn't know why. He doesn't remember this happening. But things quickly went black and cold again.

\----------------------------

As he opened his eyes from the world of black, he entered a world of bright light and dull pain.

Confused, he glanced to the side and saw the face he was once targeted to kill. The lips curved into a soft smile, her hand holding onto his.

"About time.. Tony was about to dump ice on you." She said softly, and he couldn't help but smile.

"I bet you'd love that.. Me in a wet shirt.." He tried laugh, though it was more a wheeze with how dry and raspy his throat felt.

"Ugh. Don't start. I may have to jump you here and now." She groaned, though broke out into a laugh soon after.

He just smiled and closed his eyes, the feeling of a hand gently running through his hair soon following.

He made the right call all those years ago, keeping her by his side kept him alive to this point.

And he loved her for it.


	8. 8

Three days she's been sitting in that small room, just watching the steady rise and fall of her team mates chest as he took relaxed breaths.

She couldn't help but smile every now and again at it. When was the last time he had a proper rest like this? He was usually up in an hour and out with her again. Mission or no mission, he'd be trying to beat her in sparring or showing off his archery skills.

Three days in bed? Natasha couldn't help but wonder how strange a concept that would be for him.

She wasn't with him constantly. The rest of the team wouldn't let her. She realised that the day Thor came in and actually carried her out of the room.

"You need sustenance, Darkest of Widows!" He said in his booming voice through her protests, and she could see Tony and Steve laughing behind them.

"Mister Barton will wake when good and ready!" He smiled as he sat the clearly annoyed Natasha in a chair at the table. An omelette was placed infront of her but she didn't feel like eating.

Thor and, unfortunately, Loki would be here for another while. Some magic voodoo talk about Thor's father needing a bit of time to gain the energy to transport them back.

Steve and Banner were already working on the tesseract to build something so it can send them home instead. Tony really didn't like having Loki in his tower.

Thor was loving it though, spending time on Earth. It was odd to Romanoff seeing the god of thunder in jeans and a normal shirt. He had a new found love for cooking too, and cleaning. He'd make a good house wife one day, or so Tony often joked.

Twice a day, Thor would come in and do the same thing, carry her out for food and a wash.

She should have been grateful, but Natasha really didn't care. All she cared about was the man lying unconscious in the other room. He should be joking along with them, teasing her like he always did. They should be back at SHIELD or on another mission.

As she sat picking at some food, she wondered when their last mission together actually was. She had been doing a lot of solo work for Fury, with Tony and Steve. She suddenly felt a knot in her stomach. They've barely spoken in the longest time. She had no idea at all what was going on his life. While being in a nice warm Stark tower right now is nice, she found herself missing the dark and cold safe houses where it was just Widow and Hawk.

Going back to the all too familiar room, she smiled at Banner who was giving Clint one of his near hourly look overs.

"Anything different?" She asked quietly, eyes on Barton as she waited for Banner to finish.

"Ehm.. Baby steps." He replied with a nervous smile, just finishing checking his temperature. "Ribs will take a while, still not sure if he has a concussion or not, won't until he wake. But his temperature's dropping and he was moving a bit. Might wake soon."

"About time!" She heard from behind her, Tony standing in the doorway with Steve, they weren't subtle when it came to eavesdropping! "If he doesn't wake tonight, I'm dropping an ice bucket over him!"

"Don't you dare." Natasha practically growled, though she never did manage to scare Tony. But lord help him if she spotted him so much as close to Barton!

"Play nice kids." Banner chuckled, packing up his stuff into the medical bag before going to Steve. "You and Thor ready to test this?"

"That's why I'm here." Tony said with a nod, waving to Natasha then. "Don't spend too much time worrying about Romeo!"

She sat back in the chair she owned at this stage as Tony and Banner left, leaving Steve standing awkwardly in the doorway. He never was good with social situations!

"I can.. I mean, leave if you wa.."

"Come in if you want. Be nice to have company." She said with a forced smile, cutting Steve's words off. He was struggling a little. Natasha knew he wanted to help somehow, but he wasn't tech smart enough to help Banner and Tony, was ordered by Fury not to help the clean-up, and Natasha was pretty distant with him the past three days.

He nodded though, going to sit against the wall on the other side of the room.

And uncomfortable silence followed, neither knowing what to say to the other.

"Y'know they have a museum exhibition set up about you?" She said after easily the most uncomfortable two minutes of her life.

"Tony mentioned something like that." He chuckled, absentmindedly messing with a button on his shirt. "Not too sure I want to see something all about my life. How much do you reckon they got wrong?"

"About 90 percent I bet." She shrugged with a smile, looking to the man she was speaking with rather than her partner. "They always talk up history too much. You plan anything that happened in the war?"

"None of it." He laughed, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. "It was all total spur of the moment stuff. Buck did a lot of the plans.."

He got quiet at the last part, so Natasha figured she should change the subject to avoid a raw nerve.

"Watch that movie I was telling you about?" She asked softly, her hand taking Clint's and rubbing it gently with her thumb when it wound into a fist.

"I did.." He replied with a curious frown, causing her to grin. "I still don't understand why Stark called me Maverick.."

"You're an army brat." She chuckled, head slightly tilted.

"I never flew a plane though. And if that's what the military was like in the 80's, I'm glad I was frozen!" He frowned, earning a laugh.

"It wasn't a real story. Just a movie!" She laughed a little more at his confused grumbles, she had a feeling he'd be confused at a lot more that Top Gun in the near future. "You should start a list."

"Of..?" He asked curiously, an eyebrow raised.

"Things people tell you you've missed." She shrugged, watching Clint's face once more. "A lot you need to catch up on, Cap. You're, what, 90? Plenty of time to catch up!"

A silence fell once more when Steve agreed it was a good idea, insisting she should tell him more movies.

"About the other day.." Steve started cautiously, Romanoff looking at him to continue. "He was ordered to kill you..?"

She frowned and looked back at Barton, nodding her head a little sadly.

"Long story Steve. Maybe some other day, ok?" She whispered, and Steve just fell silent. The smile told him to drop it.

He stood and went by Natasha, giving her shoulder a little squeeze. "He'll be fine."

She smiled as the Captain left, resting her head on the sheets then and closing her eyes to try rest. Sleep and dreams soon over took her.

That day, she'll remember for the rest of her life. Both the best and worst mission of her life.

\----------

A simple task, simplest she'd been given in a while actually. There were a number of engineers in the area that were working on various secret projects. Some basic, others nuclear. Iran was far from a neutral state, and Russia needed intel. So they sent their best agent, their best weapon.

She had a reputation around the world, a lot of times for the wrong reason entirely. But she was a master of disguise so she rarely got recognised. That, and, she usually dealt with men so they were thinking more with their downstairs brain than their upstairs one.

This mission was no different: get 'close' to the arms dealer, learn what the engineers are up to, get the plans, and get out of there.

Brothels here were a lot less dignified than the 'Gentleman' clubs in other countries. But this is where to dealer was known to be on a Saturday night so this is where she was to be. She was in the country a week and managed to convince herself into a job at the club. 'Convince' the man who owned it. One of the easiest tasks she ever had to do.

Finally, the day arrived and the booth he usually used was set up.

"He's eager to meet you, new girl!" The manager grinned in broken English, his black and yellow teeth turning her stomach. But she put on her sweet innocent smile regardless. "You keep him happy, yes yes? He big importance to this club!"

"Yes sir. Don't worry." She purred, nearly gagging at the act she had to put on as she turned to go to the back and change.

The clothes were basically nothing at this place. No wonder the customers pay so much, they get a show before they even step in the door. Really. There were two nights so far she had to be 'welcoming committee' where she'd stand in the freezing street outside in nothing but the sleazy lingerie she was supplied.

"Turns straight no men to yes men, new girl! You get bit pay!" She was told both nights, but she didn't care about the pay, she wanted this mission done and over with.

It helped though, she thought as she caked the makeup on. The guy she was after, his lackeys passed one night and word got back to their boss about her. So he requested her 'company' for the night.

Her file said he was in his late 60's, so she wasn't looking forward to this!

She put on quite the act for his lackeys, knowing it was them from a mile away. Sharp dressed and not hooting and hollering like the other guys who passed each night. There was one American who passed her a lot, she knew because he always wore the same leather jacket and 'RedSox' baseball cap. She never saw his face, but she put on the act for him too incase he was a a less dressed undercover lackey.

The regular girls seemed used to the Saturday night routine. As soon as the white haired man walked in, three girls were over to him. One taking his jacket, one taking his hat, and the other taking his drink order.

He was wrinkly, thinning white hair, and Italian. He did have that charmer look to him, but Natasha just saw him as the next target. There was a reason she was given the name Black Widow after all!

"Miss Montez, yes?" The old man smirked, taking Natasha's hand to give it a kiss. She disgusted herself by giving a girly giggle.

She could put on an American accent better than any other accent, so here she was Anna Montez.

"What would you like to drink?" He smiled as he led her to his booth, his eyes wandering her body, the evening dress leaving nothing to the imagination. He spoke well. His English was good, just that thick Italian accent standing strong.

"Whatever you're having, Mr…?" She trailed off, knowing full well who he was but he didn't know that.

"Excuse my manners young lady." He smiled, sitting down and pulling her onto his lap after sending the guy on his right off to get her the drink, his arriving at the table before they even got there. "Corvi."

"Mr. Corvi." She nodded in understanding, a sweet smile playing on her lips as she curled up on the old man's lap. "A pleasure to meet you."

They spent the next few hours drinking, though it was a known rule that anything the guests order the staff are non-alcoholic so she was sober as a judge.

Davio Corvi, on the other hand, largest arms and nuclear dealer in the East, was merrily drunk about two hours in. The more drunk he got, the more handsy he became, and it took all she had not to beat him senseless each time he squeezed.

She just had to get him away from his guards and she'd get all the info she needed, take him out, and disappear before he even hit the floor.

Closing time, he still stayed to finish his drink and story about how he single handedly took out some Americans the other day who annoyed him and he was sorry if it was any of her family. She just had to giggle and act interested though he was basically just a boring assed old guy with too many stories, most just feeding his ego.

5:37 am, she was finally getting her coat out of the cloak room to go back to his house to, as he put it, "Have your fill of Italian.." he left it hanging for a moment before smirking and finishing with 'coffee'. Not the most subtle of innuendoes, but she did that god forsaken giggle for the billionth time regardless.

When she got back from the cloak room, after receiving a nice envelope of cash and a grateful cheerful thank you from the manager, the old man was nowhere to be seen. Instead, one of his guards was there waiting.

"He's in the car." He said roughly, holding the door open for her to leave.

She nodded and walked out, over to the car, well limo, which had an open door. She scooted in and the Italian immediately moved beside her, hand around her waist as he practically purred.

The limo pulled off and they were on their way to his home. He was still yammering on, and she was still acting interesting, making a note of all her weapons though so she knew where they were for later.

Something suddenly didn't feel right. They were in an alley, which she took for normal considering where they were, but the old man suddenly sat upright and looked at her with new found sobriety.

"So, what do you know, Miss. Romanoff?" He said sternly, before she could reach for a knife on her leg, the door swung open and the 60 something year old gave her a swift kick to send her flying.

Being the assassin she was, she was up in a heartbeat, but a knock to the back of the head sent her down once more. She hadn't a chance to survey the alley considering they had only arrived, through the white spots in her vision she could kind of see that it was crawling with heavy guys in suits, all having different kinds of guns trained on her.

She lunged for the dealer as he stepped out of the limo, but fell back with a gasp of pain when a bullet was sent into her arm. The two who were with him in the club were by his side one more, one with a hot smoking gun trained on her.

She wasn't getting to him.

She cursed under her breath as she gripped the shot arm, blood pouring continuously from the fresh wound, pain searing out in all directions.

She was on one knee watching as the white haired bastard advanced towards her. "Your organisation never was good at hiding identities.." He said with a slightly bored tone, taking a knife from his left hand man as he knelt down infront of the wounded assassin. "Not like the Americans.. They at least give their covers internet pages.. Tell me, what are you after?"

She growled and spat at the man, causing him to recoil a bit in shock. "Bite me, asshole."

"Feisty.." He chuckled, standing and wiping the saliva she sent at him from his cheek. "I'll soon break that." He gave a nod and walked back towards his limo, and instantly five guys were on her.

She smirked. Perfect. She didn't have to go for them.

Wounded arm and all, she held her ground. She took a blow or two but soon regrouped and sent the first guy flying with a kick to the stomach. Coming down from the impact, she drew the knife from her leg with her good arm, slashing out at the guy behind her who had an arm now around her throat.

He recoiled and she threw the blade, the steel embedding itself into his throat, sending him crumpling to the ground with bloody gasps for help.

Two down, one more sent flying with her last dagger, though she had to throw that one with her wounded arm since she had to spin, so it only succeeded in stabbing his shoulder.

"Enough!" She heard being yelled, before another gun shot went through her shoulder. She yelled in pain and fell to her knees, her hand going to the wound on the same side as the previous.

She didn't have a moment rest though, the remaining two uninjured men dragged her roughly to her feet and held her hands behind her back.

Corvi advanced on her once more, the hot gun that just opened the new wound dropping from his hand.

He grabbed her cheeks roughly in his hand and stared into her eyes, dangerous levels of anger present. "This was my favourite suit!" The man growled, finishing the sentence with a swift and powerful punch to the stomach.

The grip on her cheeks meant that she couldn't bend to relieve some of the pain. "I wore it every Saturday! Now look!" One more punch and this time he let her double over, just to see the blood spatters all over the before crisp clean white suit. No doubt the blood of the man she tore the throat out of.

She laughed breathlessly, which angered him even more. He pulled her cheeks back up to look at him. "What?"

"Looks better now." She smirked, the metallic taste getting more dominant in her mouth. "What were you trying to be, a 70's porn star in that thing?"

He growled a lot more viciously this time and nodded to the boys to let go, seconds before sending a knife right into her stomach.

She couldn't help it this time; she had to let out a scream. She crumpled onto her side on the ground, blood pouring from the three wounds now present.

"You little bitch.." She heard being growled, then the click of a cocking gun. "You'll regret this day."

She was losing consciousness fast, everything was going blurry. But no gunshot was heard. Instead, there was a muffled sound, gargling more like. And the thump of a body. Then two more. Then the last two. One fell close enough for her to see something protruding from his throat.

A spear? Sword? No, thinner than that.. The morning light glistened off something sharp at the end of it. Someone saved her..

She couldn't stay conscious long enough to tell what it was, the last thing she remembered was arms around her, a gentle grip, lifting her to safety as blackness overtook her.

\----------

Natasha woke with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders, head still on the bed sheets and her hand still tightly gripping her partners, just a dream.

She glanced to the window to see darkness, she must have been out for a while, it was only afternoon when she dozed off.

She moved to sit up then and stretch, glancing at Clint to see if he'd woken in the time she was out.

"Right how I left you.." She smiled to herself, taking his hand once again.

She was happily sitting in the silence, not for long though. Hawk's breath suddenly hitched with made her frown a little, but she calmed when his eyes pulled together and then opened a little.

Finally! She couldn't help thinking to herself.

He looked to her, those eyes she's been dying to see for days finally staring at her, though confusion was evident in them. She gave him a soft smile to let him know he was safe, and she was too. She knew he worried.

"About time.. Tony was about to dump ice on you." She said softly, and he smiled, though just slightly.

"I bet you'd love that... Me in a wet shirt..." He tried laugh, though it was more a wheeze. No surprise, he was three, nearly four days without a drink.

"Ugh. Don't start. I may have to jump you here and now." She groaned, though broke out into a laugh soon after. He always tried be a charmer. Tried.

He just smiled and closed his eyes, and she smiled a little sadly. She carefully reached up and ran her hand gently through his hair, something she knew, from past experience, calmed him.

She never felt like this before. Never felt this vulnerable, this panicked. Even the days she was left for dead.

She lost people all the time, but the thought of losing him had her a mess.

She owed him. She wouldn't be here if it weren't for him.

And she loved him for it.


	9. 9

"Get some sleep Clint. I'll come back with tablets at 5 for you."

4:27. Natasha would be here at 5. And he hadn't slept a wink.

She stayed with him until about 2am, just talking, about absolutely nothing in particular.

Steve was restless, Thor cooked, Tony was working on something major to send the gods back home, Banner was trying to help.

Pepper freaked out. Hill was concussed but nothing bad. Fury was going at it with the counsel.

Everything was spoken about. Everything but the one thing he really wanted to know about.

"God Coulson, why did you have to be an idiot..?" He sighed roughly as he lay there, listening to the tick tock of the clock on the bedside locker. He ran a hand over his face and decided he couldn't take it anymore. He was in this bed for three days, he was sick of it even though he was only conscious for 5 hours of it so far. He just hated lying around doing nothing.

He got up, after a bit of hassle and a fair bit of pain. The white bandages taped tightly around his ribs spared most of it for him, but it still felt like being stabbed with hot daggers everytime he took a breath.

He shuffled, he didn't walk, out of the bedroom and into, what he assumed was, a common room of sorts. He was never in Stark Tower before, but he guessed they were housed on the lower levels that weren't destroyed.

He spotted and elevator and smiled, he needed somewhere to clear his head and he knew exactly where that was.

But he couldn't figure the damn thing out! He stood in the little elevator and looked around, no buttons to be seen. How was he supposed to get to the roof!?

"Agent Barton, I must insist you go back to bed."

The voice made Clint jump ten feet in the air, then he figured it out. This whole place was Jarvis controlled.

"I need some air man! Can you just bring me to the roof for a while?" He pleaded with the invisible voice, it felt odd.

There was a pause, and Clint was worried he either broke it or was being tattled on.

"As you wish Agent Barton." Came the eventual reply, and the elevator started moving upwards. "Agent Romanoff has my system set to wake her at 5am. I suggest you be back in your room by then."

Clint just smiled. Even the computer system knew Natasha would murder him for being up! "Thanks pal."

"JARVIS, sir." The programme corrected before opening the elevator doors to the destroyed rooftop.

Clint took a big lung full of the fresh air and sighed happily, heading out into the bitter cold night air then.

The smell hit him first, and it made him frown slightly. Three days on and the smell of burned buildings and, lord help them, bodies hung in the air.

Though, when he found a place to perch and watch the whole city, it didn't look as bad as he thought. The clean up crew must have been working non stop to try get things back to normal.

The sounds. They annoyed him. Fork trucks, shouting, diggers, all work place sounds.

Then he heard the one thing he didn't think, three days on, he'd still here.

"Another body!"

It froze him to his core. The way the person about three blocks away said it made it sound like the most normal thing in the world. Like they were finding them left right and centre.

He couldn't listen to that anymore. Because after that one, not even ten minutes late another voice boomed the same sound.

With tears in his eyes, and a shaking hand, he reached into his ears one at a time and took the little devices out. Silence. That's what he wanted and that's just what he got.

He placed the aids down beside him and looked out over New York once again. Watching is what he was good at. Listening, he could take it or leave it.

"You definitely can't leave it like this."

The vision flashes before his eyes before he has a chance to stop it. Almost like Coulson was answering his previous thought of taking it or leaving it.

"It's been a month. You need to get these fixed." Coulson signed the words out with his hands, a seriously pissed off look on his face.

80% of his hearing gone. Only ones who knew; himself and Coulson.

So why was the latter so pissed off all of a sudden? Because Clint was, once again, in a hospital bed, burned head to toe.

"Had you have heard that grenade land, you wouldn't be here!" All Barton could do was imagine how pissed off Coulson's voice would sound. If his face was anything to go by, it would be alot.

He got by though, the past month. Part of shield training thought them sign language, just incase, along with all the other languages they may need for covers. So he avoided people, only spoke with Coulson to relay messages to and from people. He didn't want to get benched, not after nearly getting fired for the whole Black Widow incident.

He sighed in defeat and nodded, not making eye contact with the older man in the room. He did feel the air shift then shift alot more, he guessed Coulson said goodbye and went.

He ran a bandaged hand through his hair and looked over at the bed beside him, frowning when he noticed Agent Romanoff staring at him.

He didn't even notice her enter the room.

This wasn't their first mission they were paired up together, but it was the first that ended like this.

She held soft eyes, and was that a smile..? Couldn't be. She was a cold calculating bitch. He tried his best to sign with bandaged hands, thankful she understood his message.

"How much did you hear?"

She shrugged, signing back something that made him genuinely smile, "Only as much as you want, Hawk boy. We're partners, I can't judge."

She wasn't hurt, just here to get checked up. But she very easily could have been hurt, like he was. He couldn't let that happen again. She was the one who called in the evacuation team when she was realised he was hurt. He owed her one.

He looked down at the devices beside him and smiled a little. They gave him better than average hearing, which is how he survived so long. They helped him out of some tricky spots. It took him a while to get used to them, but he'd be lost without them.

Took me a while to get used to Coulson, I'd be lost without him.

He froze at that thought, looking back over the New York sky line with a new found frown.

He was without Coulson.

How long until he'd be lost?

\----------

She was fighting back. Doing a pretty damn good job at it. And here he was happy that he wouldn't have to be the one to kill her!

From his point in the building, he could see the alley perfectly. Close enough to hear everything too. The red head was in trouble, he thought, when leaving the club. He followed the limo to this alley and set up position as quick as he could. He couldn't be detected. Everything would be ruined then.

He had to make sure the target was dead and report back within the next 48 hours.

So that's what he was doing. He was doing his job. He was taking out the threat, ridding the world of one more scum. But she wasn't, was she..?

He met her once before. When she came to America to scope out Stark Industries. It was a mistake, he got caught up in a plan and actually managed to help her. He'd never tell anyone that, and that's all the information he's even willing to think about, because, well, if anyone knew he helped a terrorist group get vital tech then he'd be number one of the most wanted list.

Fury wanted her out. She had to be taken out. A soldier followed orders.

Soldier..?

He had his bow drawn and was ready to strike, when a gun shot rang out.

He froze, she was hit! The guy in the white suit hit his mark. Kind of. Hit her shoulder. It looked damn painful though.

Something in him coiled as the old guy advanced. Punch after punch, the red head stayed defiant. What on earth was she thinking!?

Did she want to die!?

Maybe. All the things he's heard about her organisation, he'd want to be killed too.

She's been shot twice, beat and abused, had a knife now at her, and was still fighting. Even he had his breaking point and he was one of the best agents in SHIELD.

He smirked. He'd break by now. She wasn't budging. That's not madness, nor courage. That's a SHIELD agent.

He had a job though. And he never messed up a job. Never missed his shot. So he let the arrow fly. Then another 4.

Oops. Looks like he missed 4 in a row! How uncharacteristic, Clint! What ever will Coulson say!?

The guys fell like a sack of potatoes, giving Clint Baton a strange sense of pride and making a laugh escape.

Jumping from the window, he ran over to the target to see how she was faring.

Please be dead so I don't have to do it..

She wasn't. How did he think he'd get that lucky!?

She was fading though. He eyes were open a fraction, he wondered if she could even comprehend someone was there.

He couldn't do it. He slung his bow back over his shoulder in defeat. She didn't deserve this. She may be a threat, but she'd make a damn good SHIELD agent!

Carefully, slowly, he picked her up and carried her away. The safe house he'd been using wasn't a long way away and he was well enough to carry her. On his way, he surveyed her injuries for a moment. There were alot of them. He'd be bandaging for a while!

She was out of it for the longest time. It took him nearly an hour to get the bullet out of her shoulder, stitch it up, and bandage it. The other was a clean in and out job so he just cleaned, stitches and bandaged it. He was no surgeon or doctor, but it'd do for now.

He took care of all her other cuts and put some cream on her bruises to help with the pain. He'd have to wait for her to wake to give her some pain killers.

When he made sure she was comfortably resting on the bed, he went to take off his blood stained cover clothes. Just a simple hoodie and baseball cap. He had to be believed to be a tourist, even when she did her slutty little dance for him on the street. He felt a million times better when he pulled on his proper SHIELD gear, bow and quiver full of arrows slung over his back.

He waited. Sitting on a chair by the bed. Waited and waited and waited, until...

He fell asleep.

He was tired, so sue him!

He didn't know how long he had been asleep, but the sound of a cocking gun soon woke him up.

Behind him. He listened for the slightest bit of shuffling for the exactly location, then smirked.

He jumped up, sending the chair flying into his attacker. He necked an arrow and aimed his bow, ready to fire.

He stopped. Green eyes met his, panicked, confused. No blaming her. The gun was held pointed at him in her good arm, and he knew a bullet was alot faster than an arrow.

"Relax.." He whispered, releasing the tension on the string slowly to show he wasn't a threat. He dropped his weapon then and held up his hands, as if approaching a spooked animal. "Ms. Romanov.. I'm Agent Barton.. We.."

He stopped, eyes wide, as the gun fired. The bullet flying just millimeters away from his ear.

"I don't care who you are. What do you want?" Her words were like venom, sending a chill down his spine. Guess she doesn't remember him then!

"Honestly?" He asked with an eyebrow raised, lowering his hands a little to test the waters.

"Like you're in any position to lie." She spat back, her face oddly neutral. She definitely wasn't human.  
"Good point!" He chuckled, shrugging then. "I work for an American agency SHIELD. I was sent to take you out. Made a different call." He had to be honest, he assumed she was given training to know when someone was lying.

Her finger twitched on the trigger, but he guessed curiosity got the better of her because she let out a rough sigh and shook her head. "Why?"

'Hawkeye, Evac 1, 20 clicks, copy?' Came over the comms set in his ear, and he had to suppress a grin. Just stall, Barton!

"You're pretty wanted, people want you dead, figured that was obv.."

"Why did you make a different call, you imbecile!?" She yelled, making him jump.

And he laughed. And laughed and laughed which seemed to confuse her even more, which made him laugh more, it was vicious circle!

"I don't know! I really don't! I'm Hawkeye, the sniper, the trick shooter, I follow orders." He laughed out, then actually smiled at her. "Guess I got sick of following orders! And you handled yourself so well out there! I mean, sure, I was the one who killed them, but you really had a chance there!"

"Well, Hawk Boy.."

"-Eye." He corrected, and she glared at him.

"Whatever it is. Thank you, but I really must go."

"But I was gonna take you back to Shie-"

Before he could say anything else, a shot rang out, this time hitting its mark and sending a great shot of white pain through his whole body. Evacuation teams were so close too!

He lay on the floor, bleeding out from a gunshot to the upper chest. Lucky she didn't aim for the heart, he'd be dead already! She moved around, obviously grabbing anything that could be useful on her way home.

"Nat.." He whispered, the pain was too great to speak properly and he could feel himself blacking out pretty quickly.

'Hawkeye, Evac 1, copy? I repeat, Evac 1, copy?' They were getting worried..

He felt her stall, maybe he shouldn't have used a nickname! But he already felt too close to her not to. "Leave them.. G-go to SHIELD.. Say I rec-reccomended you.. Live proper life.. Please.."

A scoff. One more gun shot. Searing pain in his shoulder. Then nothing but black.

\----------

Light is what brings him back to the world. The warm feeling of sunshine on his face. He squirms a little and sighed, comfortable. Even after such a dream, he had it so many times it just doesn't bother him anymore.

He freezes then. He couldn't hear the sigh. He couldn't hear the birds outside, the whirring of machines in the tower, the yammering of Tony fighting with Tash again, none of it.

He sits bolt upright, then instantly regrets it when his ribs burn. Doubled over, gripping them tight, a scream escaped.

What the hell happened last night!?

Hands are on his shoulders not even a minute later but he doesn't look up yet, just keeps his eyes screwed shut in pain. Eventually he does though, and sees the same green eyes that shot him all those years ago.

She smiled at him, and ran a hand through his hair, waiting for him to calm. May be the same eyes, but definitely not the same person.

"Tash..?" He couldn't hear himself, he hoped it came out right.

She signed to him for the first time in a long time when he focused a little more.

"Relax. You're ok, you passed out on the roof, panic attack, so Steve carried you down. He stood on your aids."

He frowned a little, guessing she meant they were broken.

She nodded and continued on. "Tony's making you new ones. Just wait until tonight, Hawk."

He nodded and let her lie him back down, his eyes slipping closed as she did. He wondered if she ever knew how to sign his name. It was always Hawk her hands said.

The last thing he registered before drifting back asleep was a soft kiss on the forehead, and a smile crept onto his face.


	10. 10

He was tired, she could see that, she knew her partner better than anyone. So, around 2am she stood up from the chair she was in the past 3 days.

She smiled at his confused face and ruffled his hair like she did when he did something childish. "Get some sleep Clint. I'll come back with tablets at 5 for you."

She didn't wait for a reply, knowing it'd be him insisting he didn't need the sleep and felt fine and so totally didn't look like bus ran over him twenty seven times in a row.

She left the door slightly ajar so whoever was in the common room at whatever time could hear him, though she did also have Jarvis with a sound feed from his room into a comms constantly in her ear.

She was a worrier, so what?

She wasn't worried so much for him, but for the others. She'd trust her partner no problem, it's everyone else she didn't trust so much. What happens if Loki escapes and goes for him? What if one of them was taken by the god again and they get to Clint without her even realising? She was listening to his room for them, not him.

"Any change, Cap?" She asked with slight amusement, he was looking out that window for the past two hours. Clint always did the same, she didn't see the fascination in it!

"They finally moved that wall about a half hour ago. I could've done it for them!" He was pouting, Romanoff found it pretty amusing. She pulled up an armchair beside his, not ready to go to bed just yet.

"I thought Tony put a tv in your room? Why not watch that?"

"I don't understand half the shows that are on. I mean, who are these Kardashians? And why are so many teenagers moms?" He looked to her with genuine confused eyes, and she couldn't hide the smirk.

"No one knows, not just you Rogers. Try M*A*S*H. That may be a little more up your street."

He nodded and looked back out the window, she guessed he wasn't going to go looking for it now!

"We guessed he was awake, since you haven't been wandering in and out tonight." She was enjoying the silence, why did he have to break it?

She just nodded.

"He ok?"

Another nod. She never was much of a conversationalist. Only with Barton, and even that was sometimes minimal.

"Confused. Sore. The usual after mission list."

"Mentally, Natasha." He corrected, his eyes still on her.

She didn't know. She really didn't. They've been partners for so long, usually Clint opened up about everything, this time though he was choosing to hide whatever was at him so she wouldn't know.

"He doesn't want me to know. So I don't know."

Steve nodded, deciding to drop it. He stood. "Come spar."

She grinned, that was the best thing he's said tonight!

~~

She landed with a soft 'thump' on the training mats, and she just had to lay there for a while to catch her breath.

Steve, supersoldier and all, was even kneeling over a little to catch his breath.

Neither were hurt, it was just sparring after all, just tired. They had started at 2:30, it was now 4:15am. Though neither really ever slept at night so it was fine!

"Best 61 out of 120..?" He breathed out, and she gave a breathless laugh.

Jumping up, she steadied herself. "Bring it, cap!"

That familiar thump of a mat had her buzzing!

\----------

She watched from the door way as he placed arrow after arrow into dummies hearts, going over, gathering them, and starting again. She felt nervous, and she had no clue why.

Her first few days at SHIELD she managed to avoid him like the plague. Mainly because this was his first day back after recovery.

He's going to kill me..

The thought was enough to make her turn around and leave, not wanting to get attacked. But she didn't, she couldn't, she had apparently been assigned his handler aswell because the one who introduced himself as Phil was standing in the training room watching the archer.

She sighed. Time to get it over with.

"Ah! Glad you could make it this early! Sorry, Clint only does early mornings!" Coulson said happily when Natasha walked into the room, and she just nodded.

The archer, Clint?, was obviously told she was here and they'd be working together, because he tensed completely. Not from fear, she could tell. The shaking of his shoulders was a sign of anger.

"How's the shoulder, Hawk Boy?"

"-Eye." He corrected through a growl, sending another arrow fiercely through a dummy once more. That answered it for her, and she was amazed.

It had only been two months since she put a bullet in that shoulder, how could he have so much strength back already? He'd be an interesting one to work with.

"It's fine."

"I can see that." She replied through a bored tone. He may be interesting, but something told her he'd be an annoying one too.

Phil cleared his throat awkwardly, gaining both agent's attentions. "Natasha Romanoff, Clint Barton. Barton, Romanoff."

He sighed, even that annoyed her. He finally turned to face her, and holy shit he looked like hell! Black bags under his eyes, thin cheeks, muscles were still there though, the sleeveless leather vest made sure she could see that. And the white bandage still wrapped around his chest and shoulder. Woooops.

He held his hand out to her and she shook it. They were rough. An archer for years then.

"Armour on. On the mats in ten." Coulson said, about to walk away before Clint spoke up.

"She doesn't need armour." He was staring at her, but she didn't back down. She sent him a slightly amused smirk. "Neither do I. You go home, Coulson."

"Barton, I ca-"

"No, he's right. We'll be fine." Natasha agreed, being the first to turn around and go tape up. "I will, at least."

Coulson sighed in defeat and nodded, not wanting the two toughest agents on his bad side she figured.

She looked back over at the two as she taped her hands and wrists up, Coulson looked like he was giving an earful to that Clint guy, but the archer was just staring at her. He obviously wasn't that good an agent if he held grudges so easily.

"You're here to train him up again. Get him fighting ready. Don't break him." Coulson basically demanded as he passed Romanoff, leaving before she could give what would have been a smart remark answer.

She watched him as he carefully packed away his bow into a case, she can't recall a time she saw an archer take such care with his equipment. He went over to the mat then, watching as she walked over to join him.

"So what's this then? Some macho 'I need to beat the girl who left me for dead' thing?"

No answer. Just those grey eyes staring her out of it.

He didn't even make a move. Just stood with his bad arm held protectively to his chest.

"Are we training or what?"

"Why?" He finally said, and she raised an eyebrow.

"Because you've been out for two months and need my help."

"Why did you shoot me? After I saved you from certain death? After I patched you up, saved your life, offered you an out, why?" He spat out at her, his voice just higher than a whisper so it came out pretty rough.

She sighed. She rather fighting than talking, so she went for him.

A kick to the stomach sent him doubling over, but before she could bring the knee to his face he rolled away and went to sweep her legs.

Too simple to avoid, she simply jumped back and landed in a crouch.

In an instant, she was on his neck, spinning him over with her legs and onto the mat. When they landed, she was onto of him, knees pinning either arm out. The way they were stretched completely out was hurting his injured shoulder, she could tell by the way he tried hide a wince.

"You were too easy." She whispered, her usual passive face on as he squirmed to get free. She didn't care, she just increased the pressure on his arms which made him actually wince this time, even got a sound.

"Like now. You can't show emotion, can't let the enemy know what gets you. You poured your heart out that day, I know enough about you to get to you."

"You know nothing." He growled, staring up into her eyes with new found fire. Too bad there was no moving her in the state he was in.

"Hawkeye. Clint Barton. You have a bad wrist, no doubt a break from youth the way it's set. Your eyes tell that you have trouble sleeping, obvious demons. You don't like orders, you were fine with them for a while but something switched and you now hate them. You favour the bow. When startled, you kick up with your right foot to get into shooting position. You're too soft. You let a target live, let her shoot you, let her leave you for dead just for sentiments."

He was startled, surprised. She could see the wheels in his head turning to comprehend what she said.

"So you read my file."

"Like I have that degree of clearance. I'm lucky they trust me enough to let me in the building." She scoffed, twisting his arm a little more as punishment for getting them in this situation. "I know all that from the one encounter we had. You wear everything on your sleeve and that has to stop if we're going to be working with eachother."

She got up, casual as anything, not a hair out of place, leaving him once again on the floor in pain. He asked why, he wanted this, so she really didn't feel bad.

At her bag now, she untaped her wrists and packed everything away. "Be here 5am tomorrow. Eat some red meat tonight. I'll get you fit again."

She left the gym. No more frazzled than when she entered.

\----------

"Agent Romanoff?" She froze mid punch, Steve looking rather confused since the voice of JARVIS was coming from her comms, not the room. "Agent Barton is up and trying to access the roof."

"Is he now?" She said with an amused smile, making Rogers really confused. She held up a finger to him signalling to give her a moment before walking over to grab a drink of water. "He say why?"

"He wants some air, ma'am." She chuckled, sure he does.

"Let him go Jarvis. Just make sure he's back in his room for 5 please."

"Of course." It went quiet then, and she shook her head in amusement. She turned to Steve as she took a swig from her water bottle, pointing to her ear so he'd cop it was comms and not her going mad.

"I knew he wouldn't stay still. Wanna come spy on him with me?"

He nodded, and she threw him a towel to wipe down.

"I gotta say cap," She started as the walked towards the elevator, a towel in her hand to wipe down her face. "Pretty agile for an old timer."

"Hey, watch it. I'm not that old." He laughed, and she shrugged. "It's the good thing about being frozen, I feel perfectly fine."

"Physically?" She asked, knowing from his psychs that he was struggling. She was going to be working with him soon, Fury told her that weeks ago, so she'd have to get to know him.

"Physically." He nodded, leaving it at that. It answered the question for her though without actually answering it.

They got up to the roof and Steve was about to exit, when she placed an arm infront of his chest to stop him.

"Just stay back, he'll hear us if we move. Don't want to scare him." she whispered, though she raised an eyebrow when she noticed him reach in and take out his hearing aids.

"What was that?" Steve whispered and she shook her head.

"It's ok now, he can't hear a thing." She said normally, stepping out and going over to sit against a railing, out of Barton's immediate and peripheral vision range.

"Since birth?" Captain asked as he joined her, his eyes on the still form of Clint Barton as he watched the New York streets below.

She shook her head, arms folded in a bored manner. She'd much rather be sparring than this. "About three years. Sonic arrow, one of his trick ones. We're lucky that's all he's left with to remind him."

He nodded in understanding, not really knowing how to talk to the agent beside him. She didn't really know how to talk to him either.

"Been partners long?"

"Five." She replied simply, and let the conversation drop.

It was about 5:20 when she realised Hawk wasn't going back to his room anytime soon, so she sighed and moved away from the railing. She'd have to be gently if he couldn't hear her.

Steve beat her to it though, because, she realised, he copped something she didn't, and he may have just saved Clint's life.

He had begun hyperventilating, something in his thoughts triggered a panic attack, and Steve ran over to catch him before he managed to fall from the roof top.

Natasha was kneeling by them in seconds, checking her partners temperature with a worried frown as Steve positioned the limp form in his arms.

"Let's get him inside. Banner can take a look and make sure he's ok." Steve suggested before Natasha had a chance, and she nodded.

She watched as the two men went towards the elevator, she bent down to pick up the jacket Clint had brought up but had taken off in the process and his aids.

Though she groaned when she saw they were smashed. He wasn't going to be happy about that at all!

~~

"What d'ya think? You can fix anything right?" She asked Tony as he examined the broken hearing aids, a small concentrating frown playing on his lips.

She took a sip from the coffee she had in her hands, waiting for him to decide.

"I can usually, but there's nothing to work with here." He said quietly, then he grinned at Romanoff. "I'll make him better ones! His hearing will be amazing, you just wait and see! I'll even put comms in them so he doesn't have to wear separate ones."

"You do that." She said with a slight shake of her head. Men and their gadgets! "Any clue when you'll be done? He'll freak if he knows he can't hear. Rather put them in before he wakes."

"Not a chance. Normal ones would take me a few hours to make, these ones... Give me until about 10 tonight, 11 at the most." He replied, heading off down his lab for the day presumably.

She sighed and glanced at her watch, that was a whole 14 hours away. She just hoped he'd stay out until they were ready.

"Have you been to Fury yet?" Steve asked from across the table, a cup of coffee cradled in his hands aswell.

"No. Told him we were taking a few days. Honestly, don't think I want to talk to him for at least another week."

"Understandable." He chuckled, taking an apple from the basket on the table to take a bite out of.

Natasha eyed him curiously for a moment, taking every detail in. He was still wearing those god awful shirts and slacks. She sighed and ran a hand through her hair.

"You need to get with the times, Cap." He paused at her words, mid bite into an apple.

"And if I don't want to?"

She shrugged. "Can't force you. It's not the 40's anymore though, I reckon at least a new hair cut is due. Might make someone take an interest in you."

He flinched. She struck a nerve then. She used to always do this with Clint when he wouldn't open up, just ramble and see what would happen!

"So who was she?" She asked casually, as if she asked how the weather was.

"I don't want to talk about it." He replied quietly, standing up to leave in a huff.

They both paused from fear though when a pain filled scream echoes through the place.

Clint.

She ran, she shouldn't have, his room wasn't far away at all, but that scream always made the normally composed Natasha panic.

She frowned when she saw him doubled over in pain, clutching his ribs. He sat up too fast, she assumed.

She placed her hands on his shoulders to get his attention, knowing there was no chance he'd hear her. He has 20% left, sure, but that was useless with how long he's had those aids in.

"Breathe Clint." She said softly, hoping that even the shift of wind of her words would be enough to help.

She didn't let go of his shoulders, didn't let him feel alone, until he finally looked at her, panic stricken grey eyes meeting her own.

It ripped her heart a little.

She smiled at him, and ran a hand through his hair, waiting for him to calm. He needed to so his mind could understand the signs. And so she'd be able to relax enough to do them.

"Tash..?" It was pretty slurred, sounded drunk, but that's what happens when someone can't hear them self speak.

She signed to him for the first time in a long time, she hoped the words were right!

"Relax. You're ok, you passed out on the roof, panic attack, so Steve carried you down. He stood on your aids."

He frowned a little, she figured he copped that meant they were broken.

She nodded and continued on, before he had the chance to panic about them like last time they broke. "Tony's making you new ones. Just wait until tonight, Hawk."

He nodded, so she took the chance to grip his shoulders gently and lie him back down.

She smiled when his eyes slipped closed, covering him in the blankets once more before placing a soft kiss on his forehead. "Sleep well." She whispered, turning then to see Tony and Steve in the doorway, both smirking.

"I don't think she'd ever smiled at us like that." Steve said, a slight chuckle in his voice.

"Well if that isn't love.." Tony began, but she cut him off.

"Go work on his aids you ass." She growled, her face once more passive as she left the room.

If that isn't love..


	11. 11

He frowned. Wriggled his jaw. Rubbed at his ears. And frowned some more.

"They're smaller." Clint commented, taking out one of the hearing aids to take a closer look.

He could hear Romanoff by the door give a slight laugh, he wondered what she found amusing.

Tony sighed and rolled his eyes, taking the aid from his hand to hold it up to him.

"Of course they are. Your other ones were outdated as hell. These have remote settings in that bracelet, so you can change the volume in field. They have comms built in that can hook up to any wireless frequency you want, hell I even put in an MP3 so you can listen to music when you're bored!"

"I liked my simple ones." He replied with a sigh, sitting up a little more in the bed since he had started slipping down. He took the aid from Tony and replaced it. He'd just have to get used to them like he did the first time.

"Gee. You're welcome." Tony scoffed, turning to leave the room then.

"That's as close to a thanks you get with us, rich boy." Natasha teased, and Clint nodded in agreement.

One more scoff, a grumble that was no doubt a rude comment, and Stark was gone from the room once again.

"I don't think he likes us." He sighed as he moved to sit on the edge of the bed, giving a rough sigh when he finally made it.

It was early morning, Tony had apparently been working on these aids until midnight or so. Clint was grateful, but he just didn't like new stuff.

"Tony doesn't like anyone. Don't take offence."

She was by his side once more, helping him stand up. He wondered just how long she'd baby him.

She always babied him actually. A pout spread across his face as he realised that.

"They're not that bad, are they?" She asked curiously, obviously concerned.

He looked at her and gave his usual grin, shaking his head a little. "Nah. Alot louder though, never realised how quiet my old ones were."

"This remote does everything." She said softly, pressing some things on the touch pad Clint now wore on his wrist. Tony also made it, said it controlled all the functions like radio frequencies, volume, pitch of sounds, songs, and simply turning them off and on so he doesn't take them out and break them like the old ones.

"Seems complicated." He jumped at her words, holding onto his ears in genuine pain and falling back to sit on the bed. She had put the pitch up way too high!

"Tash!" He complained, pretty much ripping the aids from his ears. She may have just got rid of the last 20% he had!

She was panicking, he couldn't hear her, but he could tell by the way she was moving her lips and the face she made. He was just focusing on setting the aids to the levels Stark had them at.

When it was alright, he put them back in.

"You're not allowed near these again. That was worse pain than the Helsinki mission!" He complained, and she just laughed, giving him a playful shove.

"Better watch it then, Hawk. New torture methods for me!"

His eyes went wide, and he instantly covered the bracelet on his arm. "You wouldn't!"

"Be an idiot again and I just might!" She smirked, winking at him before standing up once more.

He followed, going over to the dressing table to find some clothes. He found only his torn and bloody ones in the drawers.

"All my things are at home." He commented quietly, holding up the ruined armour to the light, trying to see if he could get away with wearing it.

She was by his side again, eyeing the material aswell.

"We may be here a while. Fury wants us together until everything calms down. So, you may need new clothes." She said the last sentence with an odd smile.

That smile meant bad things.

That was her killing smile.

Her "I'm going to torture you in the most horrible ways imaginable!" smile.

Torture. New clothes. His eyes widened as he was dragged from the room.

"No!"

She smirked at him, a firm hold on his hand. "Oh Pepper!"

~~

He protested and protested, but when girls want something, girls get it.

Especially when those two girls are Natasha Romanoff and Pepper Pots!

Sure, Natasha wasn't the most girly girl. But when it came to getting a say in her partners life? She'd do anything to annoy him.

So there he was, in the ninth store of the shopping mall, seven or eight bags on his arms after an hours shopping, and they were still holding things up against him and humming in thought. This time, a dress shirt. For what, he had no idea!

"I don't know if he'll like it." Natasha commented with a finger on her chin.

"I'm right here.." He sighed, slouching over a little from both pain an boredom. Mostly boredom.

"You're right, and it doesn't really seem like his colour." Pepper agreed, completely ignoring Clint for what was the billionth time this trip.

"Still here!" He said a little rougher, though he knew they were just winding him up by the grins on their faces.

"Definitely. He likes purple though. Doesn't admit it, but we all know." Oh he was going to kill his partner! If he hadn't wanted to before, he definitely will after this!

"I don't need a new shirt." He argued, he was hoping they'd just pick him up some t-shirts and jeans for the few days.

"Oh! I got Tony a lovely purple shirt from the store next to here!" Pepper chimed in happily, setting the grey one back on the rack. "Come on, we'll see if they have his size!"

He threw his arms in the air for a moment, his face fed up. "I give up!"

The girls laughed, and he had to smile. He was used to Pepper laughing, but it had been a fair while since he heard Natasha laugh like that.

"Told you it would get to him!" Romanoff grinned, linking her arm with his to bring him to the next store.

Why couldn't he pass out now instead of on the roof!?

~~

"You do realise I hate you, right?" He growled to Natasha when they entered Stark Tower once more, his arms filled with shopping bags.

"I'd be worried about you if you didn't." She replied with a slight grin, pushing him into the elevator then.

He was in his new clothes, and he hated them. He already wanted his SHIELD gear back! Though the hoodie was comfy.

He gave a little groan and stretched out his neck a little. He shouldn't have been out for too long, his body was NOT happy with him for it.

Her hands were on his neck before he had a moment to react. He smiled a little, she always was good at working out the kinks.

"You can't shower just yet, not with the cuts on your back. But some hot towels will help with that." She said softly, working out one big knot at the base of his neck.

"Gonna give me a sponge bath? Honestly Nat, I know you want me, but suggesting such filth.." A pinch cut him off, and he had to laugh. He knew how to wind her up just as well as she did him.

"Keep talking, bird brain. I know you're all words, no action."

"Please, you're dying to see my actions.." He whispered with a grin, bumping his hip off hers.

She rolled her eyes and stepped out of the elevator, taking the bags from him before he could protest.

"Go wash up a little, hot water for those muscles, ok? Dinner should be soon."

He smiled and nodded, heading off towards one of the many bathrooms on the floor.

He stripped with a tired sigh and stood for a moment to survey himself in the mirror.

Shit wasn't the word for how he looked. Though, he often looked worse.

The bandage around his ribs needed to be changed, he'd have to ask Banner later. The ones on his back aswell, more than likely, though he couldn't check them in the mirror cause turning his head that much would kill his neck!

With the hot towel he cleaned off his face, hoping to work out some of the wrinkles and bags under his eyes. How he didn't scare kids in the mall, he'd never know!

He wouldn't bother shave, he liked a bit of stubble. On missions he'd go weeks without shaving, that would annoy him. The baby face look annoyed him too. So stubble, he loved!

He dropped the towel suddenly and held a hand to his ear, eyes closed as painful static sounded before faint voices could be heard.

"I don't know, cap." Stark? Where was the voice coming from?

"You hacked the files. Can't you find out?" Steve's voice. Its coming from his ear. He looked at the bracelet and realised he hit off a frequency, probably some room close by.

He has no clue how to turn the thing off!

"Reckon it'll say anything?" Stark again, and some tapping. A keyboard?

"I don't think we should look. Loki hurt him enough, we are his friends, we can't betray his privacy." Thor, definitely, who else would have a voice like that!?

"If Loki said he could be dangerous.."

"Loki lies. He is not called a trickster for no reason." Thor cut Steve off before he could finish.

"If he has secrets, we should know. And now we will!" Tony said, finality in his voice.

Were they talking about him? Of course they were, who else would it be? Hardly Banner for gods sake, that man is an open book, he has no secrets.

He pulled back on his clothes as he listened to silence now, going out of the bathroom, grabbing his bow and quiver of arrows from the living area, following the static sounds, and making it to the room the three were in before anyone spoke again.

"Wow." Steve was first to speak, and Clint knew he had the right place because he could hear the murmur through the door. Slowly, he opened it, just a fraction to peek in.

It was a small room, a desk and large JARVIS screen the only things in there besides some chairs. They were all looking at the screen so they didn't notice him.

On it? Well, that made Barton's blood boil. His SHIELD photo, his name, his id number, his clearance level, basically his entire SHIELD file. Damn that Stark!

"Well, that does explain alot." Tony said in a bored tone, sitting back and twirling a pencil between his fingers.

"Clint?" He held three fingers up sideways to her, their sign for quiet. And she stayed quiet by his side, not knowing what was going on, though after years of missions Natasha knew to stay quiet when he said so.

His hands were readying themselves, one gripping the all too familiar bow with the other one going towards his arrows that he slung over his back, without even realising it.

"I do not understand.." Thor said quietly, looking to Steve and Tony in a confused manner. "A circus? How would one learn archery in such a place?"

Natasha was closer to him now, trying to peek in. He guessed she over heard what they were talking about.

"They learn tricks." Tony scoffed, swinging back in his chair as he flicked from one picture to the next. Some videos as well, all of Hawkeye "The worlds greatest marksman!" in action. "They cheat. They're not real archers. Who thought him..? 'Trickshot'. Says it all, huh?"

His fingers twitched, eyes narrowed, and he was so close to drawing an arrow when Natasha's hand moved to rest on his, stopping it from moving.

"Don't Clint.. Just come with me."

"He's not dangerous. He probably got lucky in that fight. No wonder he's so hurt. He's no agent, nothing but a carny freak if you ask me." Tony's words rang in his ears, making him see red.

The amount of times he was called that was in the billions, but he never thought he'd hear someone he fought beside, someone he now considered a friend, call him that.

"Well.. This is interesting." He suddenly heard, Tony's voice pretty different and Clint figured he knew why. "Jacques Duquesne.. Name sounds familiar.."

It should. He was wanted everywhere. Clint waned him more than anyone.

\----------

The money wasn't what had the young Clint Barton annoyed. The circus was making more than enough to survive. It was the fact that his mentor, the great Swordsman of the Carson Carnival of Travelling Wonders, was a thief.

A gambling debt, he heard being mentioned, and he couldn't believe it.

Up in the rafters, he knew Jacques and his acquaintance wouldn't notice him. But the young archer made one fatal mistake, he panicked.

As he was trying to get down from the rafters, trying to find some help, he slipped and hurt his leg, letting out a curse.

He fucked up. No other way around it.

So he ran, and ran and ran. But his mentor was too fast, the man having years of experience over Barton.

He was chased out of the main tent, through the rows and rows of caravans, dodging people and animals as best he could. He didn't know where he was going, he should go to the boss, to Trickshot, to Barney, to anyone he trusted. But the one he trusted most was chasing him, so who could he trust really?

Out of the circus grounds, it happened.

Second mistake; He tripped. Landed face first with the expert blade wielder towering above him.

He started backing away, his young mind panicking even more.

Now, he'd know never to let emotion show. Then, he was just about crying.

"How much did you hear, kid?" The tough voice echoes through his mind to this day. It was the first truly terrifying experience he had. Even the children's homes were better than this!

"I.. Well.." He stammered. Third mistake.

The boot knocked the wind out of him as it collided with his chest. It didn't leave though, it kept him pinned to the ground as the older man leaned in closer.

"You weren't going to tattle on me, were you?" He was speaking to him in the voice you would a baby, a mock concerned frown plastered on his face. "I really hope not, because that means trouble for me. And trouble for me, means trouble for you,"

No chance to respond. Boot after boot, fist after fist, collided with his chest, his stomach, his legs, his head.

He was never in a proper fight before, he didn't have a blade, he didn't have a bow or arrow, he had his raggy torn clothes on that did nothing to protect against the bone crushing assault.

"Sorry kid." He sounded breathless, but Barton could barely hear him. He was losing consciousness fast, after ten minutes of non-stop assault he was surprised to be awake at all. He curled into himself as the Swordsman drew a knife from a holder on his leg, a wicked laugh escaping as Clint's tears escaped. "Nothing personal."

It was a slash, not a stab. Still deep, still enough to leave Barton for dead, but something knocked the older man away just as the blade made contact to it turned into a slash across his chest rather than a hole through his heart.

"Hold on Clint, I got ya.." The voice was distant, but it was there, along with his arms, the same arms that would cradle him to sleep, warding off the nightmares that plagued his young mind.

"Barney.." His older brother's name was the last thing he could get out, Swordsman running away from Trickshot the last thing he could see, before the darkness of likely death took him.

The first of many times, he realised, that the feeling of certain death would be with him.

\----------

He didn't want them knowing all that.

That stuff was beyond personal to him.

That was his family, the family he loved, the family who betrayed him, the family he lost, the family he missed everyday.

Missed.

He let the arrow fly into the screen before Tony had a chance to go onto the file of the beating, knowing it was the next slide. He didn't realise he drew the arrow, but he was glad when it left and a 'pop' could be hear as the screen died. The three men in the room jumped up in shock and looked to the door just as Clint avoided Natasha's grip and ran down the hall.

Clint never misses.

Down the hall, down the stairs, out the door, and far away.

Never misses. Not a shot. Not family.

He could hear Natasha start to give out bloody murder through the aids before the frequency got out of range.

He had to go somewhere.

Somewhere safe.

Not his apartment, they'd look there.

He had to go home.


	12. 12

"I think he's finally coming up with those aids." She signed to the deaf agent sitting up in the bed, and he grinned.

It was morning, early morning, poor Clint was without hearing for 24 hours now and Natasha knew it was getting to him.

He even asked for a knife so he could sleep with it under his pillow. Paranoid idiot!

"About time! I can't take the silence anymore." He signed back quickly, and that's how she could tell he was excited.

Something all of them took for granted, Clint was like an excited child for. It made her heart break a little.

"Of course you're in here." She looked back to see a smirking Tony walk into the room, and she just rolled her eyes, her usual passive face back on.

Clint sat up in the bed properly and grinned at Tony as the billionaire held out two little aids.

She watched with an eyebrow raised as he placed them carefully in Clint's ears.

"All better?" Stark asked quietly, and the relieved smile that crossed Barton's face said it all. "Good! Hold out your wrist."

Both agents in the room raised an eyebrow, what was he up to?

"Should know by now I don't do things by halves!" Tony grinned, as if answer the unasked questions on both their minds.

Natasha moved a little to see what was going on, only to see a silver braclet with a glass screen in the middle of it being placed on her partners wrist.

"What is it?" Clint asked quietly, she barely caught his words, she guessed the aids were a little too sensitive and he thought he was speaking normally.

Stark moved his fingers on the screen for a moment before nodding and looking back to Clint. "Try again, Legolas."

"Try what again?" Barton asked with a confused face, his voice normal again. She smiled a little, that face always made him look like a kid.

"Perfect!" Stark cheered, arms up like he was celebrating. Of course he was, the egotistical asshole. "It's something amazing really, it controls all the functions like radio frequencies, volume, pitch of sounds, songs, and simply turning them off and on so you don't have to take them out and break them like the old ones."

She watched curiously as Clint frowned, Wriggled his jaw. Rubbed at his ears. And frowned some more.

Did he even listen to a word Tony said?

"They're smaller." He commented, taking one out and placing it in his hand to look at.

She laughed a little at that, remembering the time when he was fitted with his other ones. He complained about them too!

Tony sighed and rolled his eyes, taking the aid from his hand to hold it up to him.

"Of course they are. Your other ones were outdated as hell. These have remote settings in that bracelet, so you can change the volume in field. They have comms built in that can hook up to any wireless frequency you want, hell I even put in an MP3 so you can listen to music when you're bored!"

Natasha stopped listening really, she'd never understand men and their gadgets. Why couldn't he just make simple ones?

"I liked my simple ones." Clint replied with a sigh, sitting up a little more in the bed since he had started slipping down. He took the aid from Tony and replaced it.

She smirked. Even on this matter, they were on the same wavelength.

"Gee. You're welcome." Tony scoffed, turning to leave the room then.

"That's as close to a thanks you get with us, rich boy." She teased, though it was true! She noticed Clint nod in agreement from the corner of her eye.

One more scoff, a grumble that was no doubt a rude comment, and Stark was gone from the room once again.

"I don't think he likes us." He sighed as he moved to sit on the edge of the bed, giving a rough sigh when he finally made it.

"Tony doesn't like anyone. Don't take offence." She smiled a little sadly as she watched him, her natural motherly instinct kicking in.

She went over and took his arm, helping him stand up since he looked pretty unsteady even sitting.

She noticed a pout and assumed he really did hate the aids.

"They're not that bad, are they?" She asked curiously, concerned.

He looked at her and gave his usual grin, shaking his head a little. "Nah. Alot louder though, never realised how quiet my old ones were."

"This remote does everything." She said softly, pressing some things on the touch pad Clint now wore on his wrist.

"Seems complicated." He jumped at her words, holding onto his ears and falling back to sit on the bed.

Her heart actually stopped, what happened there!?

"Tash!" He complained, pretty much ripping the aids from his ears.

Ah! She messed with something and it obviously hurt alot!

She sat beside him once more and watched as he fiddled with the controls. "I'm sorry Clint! I didn't think it would do anything."

He put them back in soon enough, and she sighed a little. At least he was willing to give them a try!

"You're not allowed near these again. That was worse pain than the Helsinki mission!" He complained, and she just laughed, giving him a playful shove.

"Better watch it then, Hawk. New torture methods for me!" He wasn't mad. Good.

His eyes went wide, and he instantly covered the bracelet on his arm. "You wouldn't!"

"Be an idiot again and I just might!" She smirked, winking at him before standing up once more.

He followed, going over to the dressing table to find some clothes. She was about to say that there was nothing there but his ruined clothes, but he copped before she could open her mouth.

"All my things are at home." He commented quietly, holding up the ruined armour.

She went over to his side, eyeing the clothes to see if he could wear them.

"We may be here a while. Fury wants us together until everything calms down. So, you may need new clothes." She said the last sentence with an odd smile.

That smile meant bad things.

That was her killing smile.

Her "I'm going to torture you in the most horrible ways imaginable!" smile.

Oh he was going to hate her for this! But come on, how many times does she get the chance to choose his wardrobe!? No more arrow themed t-shirts or purple trousers!

"No!" he protested with wide eyes, but she was having none of it!

She smirked at him, a firm hold on his hand. She HAD to bring the one other person who hates his clothes. "Oh Pepper!"

~~

"You do realise I hate you, right?" He growled to Natasha when they entered Stark Tower once more, his arms filled with shopping bags.

"I'd be worried about you if you didn't." She replied with a slight grin, pushing him into the elevator then.

He looked well in the new clothes! She felt slight pride to see him in something other then leather or purple!

He gave a little groan in the elevator and she looked to him in concern. She knew halfway through the little shopping trip that they shouldn't have brought him out for so long. When he fell asleep in the back of the car on the way back, she asked Pepper to go pick him up some more painkillers.

She smiled a little sadly and reached over to massage his neck a little. She knew where all his knots usually where, and how to work them out too.

"You can't shower just yet, not with the cuts on your back. But some hot towels will help with that." She said softly, working out one big knot at the base of his neck.

"Gonna give me a sponge bath? Honestly Nat, I know you want me, but suggesting such filth.." She pinched him to cut off his words, scowling at his laugh. She hated when he spoke like that!

"Keep talking, bird brain. I know you're all words, no action."

"Please, you're dying to see my actions.." He whispered with a grin, bumping his hip off hers.

She rolled her eyes and stepped out of the elevator, taking the bags from him before he could protest.

"Go wash up a little, hot water for those muscles, ok? Dinner should be soon."

She shook her head in amusement as she watched him leave, he seriously was a handful!

If she had a dollar for everytime she thought that..

She went with the bags to the room Hawkeye was staying in, busying herself with folding his new clothes and putting them away in the drawers.

Like every mission they'd be on.

Otherwise, he'd keep them in a ball in some bag and they'd never be warn!

She was just finished and packing the bags into eachother when she noticed a stalking figure go across the door. Clint was in full mission pose mode.

An eyebrow raised, she left the room to follow, finding him outside a door with his bow and arrows ready.

She moved slowly, if he was in mission mode he would definitely send an arrow through her skull if she spooked him.

"Clint?" He held three fingers up sideways to her, their sign for quiet. And she stayed quiet by his side, not knowing what was going on, though after years of missions Natasha knew to stay quiet when he said so.

Something had him on edge but she couldn't sense danger, and she was usually pretty good at it. On more than one occasion, she'd have to warn him about something that was about to happen.

Grenades mainly. He was useless with them.

"I do not understand.." Thor? She hadn't a clue what he didn't understand, because there was an encyclopaedia somewhere on that topic! "A circus? How would one learn archery in such a place?"

A circus..?

Her eyes went slightly wide and she moved to peek in, seeing the three men inside looking at Clint's file.

Those sons of..

"They learn tricks." Tony scoffed, swinging back in his chair as he flicked from one picture to the next. Some videos as well, all of Hawkeye "The worlds greatest marksman!" in action. His idea, she so knew it was. Who else would be cocky enough to snoop through someone's private history like that? "They cheat. They're not real archers. Who thought him..? 'Trickshot'. Says it all, huh?"

She noticed Barton's fingers twitch, eyes narrowed in anger, and just as he was about to draw the arrow, Natasha's hand moved to rest on his, stopping it from moving.

"Don't Clint.. Just come with me." She whispered, pulling the hand a little to try get him away.

"He's not dangerous. He probably got lucky in that fight. No wonder he's so hurt. He's no agent, nothing but a carny freak if you ask me." Tony's words made her look back at the room, now glaring at the back of Tony's head. How dare he say such a thing! Clint was a better fighter, hell, a better man than Tony Stark would ever be!

And 'carny freak'? That's low even for someone like Stark!

"Well.. This is interesting." She suddenly heard, Tony's voice pretty different, almost shocked. "Jacques Duquesne.. Name sounds familiar.."

Natasha realised what was coming next. That name definitely was familiar. And if she ever came across the man it belonged to, she'd kill him in the most slow and painful ways imaginable for what he did to her partner.

\----------

"Relax Barton. You're sick." She scolded like a mother giving out to a child. He growled a little and pouted as the cold cloth made contact with his forehead.

"We need to get the target." He rasped out, coughing into a balled up fist then.

The flu had started last night, he started sounding blocked up to her during a stake out of the target's work place. For the life of her, she can't remember his name. It was a routine job, she can't remember because that's not the main thing she remembers about that time.

"When you're feeling better. We know the hit time, and we have a week of days to do it." She said softly, packing the medicines back into the first aid kit to put back in her bag.  
The bed he was on didn't look the comfiest, but they never really slept too long in the horrible places they called safe houses so it doesn't have to be. Now, though, she wished he had a bit more comfort to relax in.

"I'm roasting.." He complained after a sneeze, and she rolled her eyes. Only eight months with this idiot and he was the most annoying agent she had ever come across.

This is the most he's complained since he lost his hearing though, even when he broke his arm in two places, so maybe she'd give him a break.

She went over and hunkered next to the bed, running a hand through his hair to try comfort him a little.

"Well take off the vest then. The leather of it won't help."

He looked at her with slightly wide eyes, almost like the time she put a bullet in him... 'Don't think of that Tasha.'

"But I have nothing else to change into.." He said quietly, almost looking panicked.

She raised an eyebrow and shrugged, leaning over a little to unzip the vest then. "So what? I've seen topless guys bef.."

Something cut her off, when the zip was all the way down and she moved aside one of the sides of it. A giant scar running across his chest. It looked nasty, and looking up at his face which was turned away she realised this is why he didn't want her doing it.

"That's not from me, is it..?" She whispered to him, thinking it was a surgical scar from taking the bullet she put in him out.

He shook his head, his body stiffening a little. Somehow, that didn't make her feel any better. She was hoping that she was the one who had inflicted this level of pain on him. Anyone else doing it managed to send her mind into revenge mode.

"No.. Long before we even met.." He eventually replied, his heart stopping a little as she ran a finger along the scar.

It seemed too fresh for that. Way too fresh. Though she could tell he was telling the truth. She had many blades cut her in her time, and only the really bad torture blades, the ones they used on spies and traitors back home, only they would leave a mark like this.

She had one on her leg, not even half the length of his, so she knew how painful the healing of these were.

"Clint.. How did you survive something like this..?" She whispered in shock, and she was in shock. The sight of it had drug up memories of the torture she received just before she left for SHIELD.

Silence filled the small room as she watched her partner, seemingly battling something internally. Weather to tell her or not, she realised at a later date.

"Jacques Duquesne.." He eventually started, but only after Natasha sighed and stood up to leave him alone.

She had never heard of him, though the way Barton said the name gave her the feeling that she should know.

"Didn't have an easy life, Tash.." He went on, and she stood still as if moving would scare him off. He was opening up. He never opened up to her. Only to Phil, so she wasn't about to fuck it up so easily.

Fever does wondrous things. He probably didn't even realise he was speaking.

"When mam and dad died, we had to go to an orphanage.. It was horrible, they were horrible, the amount of bruises and sore bones at the end of each day would amaze you.. We had to run, we couldn't stay at the home.." She wanted to ask who 'we' were, but her better judgement told her to stay quiet. "So we did.. Six years it took us, but Barney eventually got up the courage to do something.. It was the day I was told I wasn't allowed dinner and locked in a room, maybe it broke him, maybe the big brother in him too over.."

She moved a little closer when he was lost in thought, carefully sitting on the side of the bed to watch him. A shaky sigh later, he continued.

"The Carson Carnival of Travelling Wonders.. They were in town and the tents just attracted us so much! Barney fell in love with it all, and convinced them to let us join.. The Swordsman was one of their best attractions, along with their archer Trickshot.. They were amazing! Both of them thought me everything they knew, everything I know, everything that makes me who I am.. Though, I took a liking to archery alot more than to swords and daggers.."

Silence once more, she noticed his eyes slip closed and wondered if he had fallen asleep, though she soon realised he was just trying to gather some thoughts.

"Swordsman was Duquesne.. He was my mentor, my friend.. When I was in the rafters one day, I overheard him talking about taking money. I had to go tell someone, but he noticed me and chased me all the way out of the circus and to the middle of no where.." She felt the need to say something, the urge to tell him to stop, knowing what was coming, but he went on. "He beat me to within an inch of my life.. To this day, the worst beating I've ever received.. Then, he tried stab me right through the heart. Trickshot and Barney saved me though, so I wound up with a gash instead.."

The poor guy. That must have felt awful, and for just a kid aswell. She placed a hand on his, and the way his eyes shot open she knew it was a shock for him. "How come I never heard any of this before..?"

"Not many people know of the worlds greatest marksman, Hawkeye.." He replied quietly, and she wondered if it was actually regret she heard in his voice. "He had too short a run to become famous. Then he left, became a criminal, helped the Black Widow steal some more, then disappeared."

She was seriously confused now, when did he ever help her steal anything..?

Then her eyes went wide, her mouth forming an 'o' shape. "You're the bow and arrow kid who helped me with Stark Industries!"

"And here I was thinking you forgot me.." He said through a laugh, though she was just a little too shocked to reply.

That day, she got seriously injured. Like SERIOUSLY. Even she thought she was a goner, and she never thinks that. But the bow and arrow kid saved her. Like he did with the Italian.  
"Clint.. You saved me twice.."

"And you never thanked me twice.. And tried kill me once." He chuckled, eyes slipping closed once more as the fever finally lulled him to sleep.

She owed him so damn much it wasn't even funny.

\----------

It was that day she vowed that if she ever came across the man who tried kill her partner, he'd be dead before even finishing his name.

But he only told her all that through fever, she knew he never wanted anyone else to know, especially not the ones he'd be on a team with. It would make him seem weak.

So when he drew the arrow, as shocked as she was, she didn't stop him.

"Might want to duck." She called into the room, anger lacing her voice. She didn't want him killing them before she could.

He let the arrow fly into the screen before Tony had a chance to go onto the file of the beating. A 'pop' could be heard as the screen died. The three men in the room jumped up in shock and looked to the door just as Clint avoided Natasha's grip and ran down the hall.

She smirked a little. Clint never misses.

She had to let him go, knowing she wouldn't be able to stop him, and she had idiots to threaten anyway!

"What the hell was that for!?" Tony yelled out, about to chase Clint down the hall.

Natasha stood in the doorway though, not letting him go anywhere.

"You're lucky it wasn't your head. What the hell were you three thinking?" She all but yelled, and the three men shifted awkwardly on their feet.

They didn't think they'd be caught.

"Do not be mad at Stark. It was my doing." Thor finally said, though she was too busy glaring at Tony to look at the god.

"You don't even know how to operate the elevator, Thor. This was all Stark." She replied lowly, thankful she didn't have her guns because a bullet would be through the billionaires head for hurting Clint.

"Hey! It was Rogers' idea!" Tony defended, his hands up to convey innocence.

"Well when someone who's been inside his head says he's a danger, things need to be checked!" Steve argued back, squaring up to Tony a little.

"I told you, Loki lies, it's what he does." Thor boomed, he was getting annoyed aswell over the matter. She wondered if he had tried tell them not to. He seemed like the kind soul who would.

"So do Barton and Romanoff. They lie for a living!" Tony pointed out, like he had answered life's mystery. "So a liar saying to check out a liar means it has to be done!"

"That's different and you know it is!" Steve yelled, Natasha just sitting back and watching them tear eachother apart. "We shouldn't have looked, Natasha. We're sorry."

"Yes, very." Thor nodded in agreement, his eyes sincere at least.

"Speak for yourselves!" Tony scoffed, arms folding to mimic Natasha's current stance. "I need to know who I'm working with."

Bickering broke out between the three of them some more, Thor and Steve pretty much ganging up on Tony.

She was sick of it.

"Enough!" She finally yelled, fingers rubbing the space between her eyes as she felt a migraine coming on. "Rogers, with me, we need to go get Clint before he does something stupid."

She didn't even wait for an answer, knowing he'd follow, she just went down the hall to the elevator.

"Where to?" Steve asked when he finally caught up.

He was leaving New York like the last time he was upset.

She knew he was this time. He always does. His home is where he felt most safe, most at ease, and that's not his apartment. It's the little house she tracked him down to after one horrific mission.

"We're going to a farm, Cap."


	13. 13

He had to stop. While he was driving instead of walking all the way to the farm house, there was something wrong.

When he left Stark Tower, he went back to his apartment briefly to pick up some clothes and his baby.

Not his bow or arrows, they were his babies too, but he already had them. No, if he was leaving New York, he wasn't leaving without his ElDorado. Not the most conspicuous of cars to try hide in, but it was his first love and he wasn't about to leave it!

That, and it was a very personal gift from Phil.

'No thinking about Phil, dammit!' He had to tell himself ten times over in the past two hours of driving, though Hawkeye could never make himself do something that would help him!

"Room for the night, please." He said to the woman behind the counter of the very run down, seriously shady motel he chose. It was the only one he could find on the strip of road and he really needed a rest.

"Fifty dollars and some ID please." She replied through a bored sigh, popping a bubble with her gum as she flicked through an old magazine. He complied, slipping over a bill and one of his ID's, one SHIELD would issue when undercover, the first thing he knew would happen would be Stark running his name through computers if they were looking for him, so fake ID it was.

"Ok, Mr. Wetton.." She said as she returned from photocopying the ID, a security measure he was used to. He stopped using his real ID when, number one, the target could find out who he was and number 2, the bill for the inevitable damage would come to his house. All his fake ones has SHIELD's main address on it. Fury understood the damage costs, but hated the mini bar bills!

"Please, call me John." He said as he shot her what would usually be his most charming smile, though she was like a blank canvas in return.

Was he losing it!? No, impossible, ladies loved him. It was definitely her.

She gave him a key and a bucket to use the ice machine if needed. "Number 4, Mr. Wetton."

"Thank you!" He grinned, leaning on the counter a moment. "When you're finished, you should join me. Double beds can get lonely.."

Not even a smile, she just scoffed and went back to her magazine.

"Kill joy." He muttered with a pout as he turned and left, she was NOT getting a good review on the customer card!

The room was nothing special, the usual double bed, dirty bathroom, bare lightbulb, barely any wallpaper. No body ever expected a five star stay at these places. Even the tv was pay to watch! Usually when he'd stay with Natasha though she'd know ways to cheat the system and rig it up.

The bed was incredibly uncomfortable, though it was fine for a night. Better than sleeping on the cold wet ground anyways!

From the suitcase he packed, he took out his bow and arrows, just so he had them by his side incase of anything happening. Did he think something would? Well, no, but he never did.

He finally sat down in the chair by the desk and pulled off his shirt, inspecting what had him so sore.

He pouted, the bandage had snapped from around his ribs, a cut right through it, meaning nothing was compressing them to help the pain.

"Thought I snagged something.." He sighed to himself, taking the ripped bandage and inspecting it to see if there was any length he could use to re-wrap himself.

There wasn't unfortunately. He had caught it on the car door when getting in, but he thought it was just his shirt he ripped.

"Really killing me here, Phil!" He growled, having no first aid kit with him to patch up. He did the next best thing; wrapped his shirt tightly around the bruised area and hoped for the best.

Glancing at the clock on the wall he saw it was only a little after 10pm, though with the day he had and the condition he was in, it felt much much later.

"Fuck it then.." He sighed, standing and grabbing his bow. Carefully, he lay on his stomach on the bed, one hand on his bow, the other holding an arrow, just incase.

His eyes slipping closed, he soon let sleep take over his tired body, grateful that he was too tired for dreams to come.

~~

It wasn't the click of the lock, nor the squeak of the hinges. It was the breath he heard behind the door that tipped him off to someone being there.

Boy oh boy did Stark outdo himself with these aids!

He shifted off the bed, rolled under it and necked the arrow in his hand, aiming it at the door as it slowly opened. There was a slight glass partition blocking his view, but he could see through the discoloured and shaped glass that there were two figures entering the room.

No one could possibly know he was here, so these thieves definitely chose the wrong room to try raid!

From under the bed, he could only make out feet as they moved around the room, but his arrow followed anyway, waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike and hit them both.

With held breath, he drew the arrow back, fingers about to release before he heard a voice.

"Bows not here but he wouldn't leave his arrows."

"For fucks sake, Tash! You nearly got yourself shot!" He yelled out, though it was through a chuckle as he dropped his arrow and bow, the chuckle soon turning into a laughing fit. She had honestly given him heart attack!

The bed was on it's side not even a moment later, and the light was then switched on. He rolled onto his back and smiled up at Steve and Natasha as the super soldier helped him to his feet.

"Next time, announce yourself." He smiled, wiping the dust off his trousers.

"Yeah, like you still wouldn't have shot." She sighed, her eyes rolling before he noticed them glue themselves onto his mid section. His gaze followed before he smiled shyly at his partner, a nervous chuckle escaping since he knew he was about to get a smack across the back of the head.

"There's a kit out in the car, Natasha. Go get it and I'll fix him up." Steve said in his usual commanding voice, and his long time partner just nodded and left.

"Do you even have a fun side, Cap?" Clint asked with a teasing grin as Rogers led him over to the chair.

"Of course I do. Though it's my kind of fun. So you're about 70 years ahead of it." He replied as he hunkered down infront of the archer, removing the shirt that was a make shift bandage. Clint smirked at the frown on the Captain's face.

"Looks bad, huh?" He laughed, and Steve looked up to him with the same face Natasha does when he says something insane.

It was pretty bad. The bruising was pretty dominant and still had that horrible purple/black colour.

"Barton, how are you even still conscious?" He whispered, Clint figured from shock. "You could have internal injuries that Banner didn't see. This is worse than bad."

Clint smiled and shrugged, leaning back a little with his hands behind his head.

"You cowboy around with Avengers some. Guys got, what, armour. Magic. Super-powers. Super-strength. Hell, maybe shrink-dust. Grow rays. MAGIC! You, with healing factors."  
Steve looked at him confused, and Clint just shrugged once more in response to the unasked question. He didn't know where it came from either, but he was getting things off his mind that needed off his mind.

"Cap, I'm an orphan, raised by carnies, fighting with a stick and string from the Palaeolithic era." He grinned and poked his bruises, though it hurt like hell and Captain Rogers looked at him like he was insane for it, he didn't flinch a bit. "So, when I say this looks 'bad'? I promise you, it feels worse."

"Clint.." Steve started, but Barton's hand being held up stopped him.

"It's fine. I know all of you recovered in no time. I know you all expected me to aswell. Since Natasha did, after all. But I just can't. I have none of the powers you guys have, I don't have the training the Black Widow has, the resistance to pain she's built up over the years. I'm a guy with a bow and a brain. I don't turn into a monster, don't have armour protecting me. I have no torture experience, no super serum or a magic shield. I have a good shot, that's it. Like Stark said, I probably got lucky in that fight."

"You know like all of us do that you're a damn good fighter." Steve corrected, standing up now as he watched Clint with, what the archer liked to call, the 'father' eyes.

He grinned up at the soldier and shrugged, a hand going to gently rub at his ribs. "Maybe. But maybe it's about time I just give up for a while. Take some time to be Clint Barton. Take some time away from being Hawkeye."

He stunned Steve into silence, though that was fine, because Natasha came in not a moment later with the first aid kit.

Things were quiet in the room while he was once again patched up, a fresh t-shirt on him and all within ten minutes.

"Thanks Cap! Feel much better!" He grinned, ignoring the suspicious eyes from Romanoff. He didn't know why she was giving him them, she did it a lot, and he never asked.

"Most welcome. Now let's get back to New York. The others are probably worried." He replied as he packed away the first aid kit, something in his voice seemed softer though. Clint wondered if their talk had Rogers a little off guard.

"Sounds great!" Barton grinned, going over to pack his bow and arrows back in their cases before grabbing his keys. "Now that I feel better, I can hit top mark on the freeway!"

"Oh no you don't!" Natasha growled, grabbing the keys form her partner. "I'm not having you running! You're going in the SUV with Steve. I'll bring Charlotte back home!"

"Charlotte?" Steve asked as he watched the pair, Clint could hear the snicker he was trying to hide in his voice.

So his car was named Charlotte, nothing wrong with that!

"No! You can't! You drive horribly!" He pretty much yelled, wide, worried eyes watching as a smirk spread across Romanoff's lips.

"Consider this your punishment then, bird brain." She whispered as she passed him, winking before leaving. He chased her out of the room, but when he got out she was already speeding away in his baby.

"Tash! Get back here!" He yelled after her, chasing the car to the end of the lot before she pulled out on the freeway. "She sticks in fourth! Don't push her too hard!"

His yells were in vein, there was no way she would hear him all that way away.

He was ready to cry, how dare she!?

A hand on his shoulder brought him back and a smirking Steve led him to the SHIELD SUV.

He sat in the passenger seat and folded his arms, pouting like a two year old.

When they got back to New York, she was getting an arrow in the face.

~~

For this car journey, he seriously wished he hadn't opened up to Captain in the motel.

To say it was awkward would be an understatement.

Heh. Hawkward! He'd so have to remember to use that one!

An hour gone, an hour left, and neither said a word. The radio wasn't even on because Clint knew Steve hated driving with music on.

So he passed the time by counting cars, though at 3 in the morning there were very little. He started making a list of arrows he had, trying to think of ones Tony could make for him. That soon got old, so you know it's bad if thinking about arrows even bored him.

Eventually, he started drumming a little beat on the glove box, though a glare from Captain soon stopped that too.

"No one thinks you're weak, Clint."

Finally! Words! Though, not the ones Barton wanted to hear.

"I think Tony made his views on me quite clear."

"And you're going to stop doing what you love just because of him? You know he winds people up just for the fun of it. He knows how strong you are." Steve honestly sounded offended to Clint, though the archer wouldn't look at him so he couldn't tell.

A shrug was the answer from Clint, before the silence meant Captain America was waiting for more of an answer.

"I don't know what you want to hear, Cap." He sighed, scratching the back of his head. "I've been at this game longer than any other SHIELD agent.."

"Which means you're the best at it." Steve commented, and Clint scoffed.

"Hardly." Silence yet again, that meant explain. He really hated Steve. "I'm not an agent. I'm an archer. The only reason I'm the longest at it is because I'm an archer. I sit in my perch and try defend the others, I stay away from the danger, I live while they die."

"And? I'm sure that's saved more lives than you know."

"Maybe." He shrugged, fiddling with a loose thread on his shirt to try avoid looking at the older man next to him. "Doing this so long, watching everything turn to shit.. It takes it's toll, Cap.."

"Everything in life does, Clint.." He replied softly, and Clint could feel the walls breaking in his mind that he put up long ago. He had to get them in check again.

He couldn't spill all this to Steve. All the times he wished an explosion would kill him. All the times he wished and hoped that injuries would be bad enough to end his SHIELD career. He couldn't tell him any of that. It wasn't the place, wasn't the time for that. Wasn't the person for that.

"How'd you guys find me?" He asked with genuine curiosity, he knew Natasha was good, but not that good.

"Your car, something about Asia, I didn't really follow her train of thought." Captain sighed in reply, and Clint grinned a little.

Guess she knew him and his covers better than anyone.

"Ever listen to them?"

"To who?" Rogers asked with an eyebrow raised.

"Asia." He chuckled, a little more relaxed since it seemed the previous conversation seemed to be forgotten, or that Steve was at least willing to ignore it.

"I've been gone a while, but I'm sure that's a continent." Clint laughed at his reply, and from the corner of his eyes he saw Rogers give a small smile.

They may not have spoken much in the past, but as Clint took out his phone to hook up to the radio, Asia soon playing through the speakers, he thought he should really try and get to know the man beside him.

It seemed like they could be good friends.

~~

He couldn't find Natasha. He found that he actually missed her! The past few nights she was by his side, though now he wondered if that was just because he may have needed help.

They got back to Stark Tower a little after 4am, it was not 5:17 and he was just wandering the halls.

If he couldn't find her, it either meant she stayed at her apartment since it was closer to his after dropping the car back, or she sped so much in his baby that she made it back in time, walked the half hour back to the tower, and was in bed and all before Steve and himself even got back.

He seriously hoped it was the former!

Soon enough, he once again found himself on the roof. He sat on the edge like he always did, looking over New York with new found calmness. He was healing, he was returning to his former self, sure thing's still seemed tense and his mind was still a little broken, but it had only been a few days so any progress was good progress!

The sounds were gone. No more construction noises, no more voices shouting, the odd person or two could be seen moving about the streets. Even though still indescribably destroyed, New York was, too, returning to normal.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't think anyone was up here."

He didn't have to look back to see who the visitor was, and he waved back to call him over. "Doctor Banner, please. You can join me if you want."

It was a moment or two before he could hear the doctor shuffle over, carefully sitting next to the archer.

"Can't sleep?" Clint asked with a smile, eyes still scanning the horizon as the sun began to shoot tiny bits of light across the sky.

"I did for a while. Usually wake around four though." Clint nodded, the guy to his side always had him curious. He had played protection for Banner on more than one occasion, and of course went as Fury's contact when they needed the doctor's help. "I was talking to Steve."

"Really now?" Clint sighed, rubbing the back of his neck to relieve some tension that the one sentence managed to bring.

"If you're warn out that much, you need a break." Banner said with a nod, Clint could see him watching the archer from the corner of his eye. "I can give you a doctor slip no problem."

"I don't think I need one. Counsel aren't happy, I'll probably be locked up in no time."

"We won't let that happen."

This time, Barton looked at Banner, his eyebrows raised as the older man just smiled. "We're a team now, weather you like it or not. So, if the counsel decide that, they'll have the Avengers after them."

Clint laughed a little at that, shaking his head before looking back out over the sky line. "You may be right. But they'll definitely tell me to go for a while. No way they can trust me."

"Do you?" Banner asked softly, and the confusion on Clint's face made him continue. "Do you trust yourself, Clint?"

Silence. Clint really had to think about that. After the last time Loki managed to get to him? No. He really didn't trust himself.

He was worried about so many things. Worried he'd mess up missions, worried none of the other agents would trust him enough to work with him again, worried Fury, the one guy left who would give him a chance, would give up on him.

Worried Natasha would give up on him.

His eyes must have given away the answer, because Banner continued.

"Look, I may not know much about mind control, or Asgardian magic, but I know that if the mind is conflicted it needs to face the source."

More silence, while the doctor may have made it seem simple, it was anything but.

"I don't think I can.." Clint whispered, hands wringing together at the thought.

"You did it once, while your mind was alot more fragile." Banner reminded him softly, his hand gently squeezing Barton's shoulder as he stood up. "You can do it again. Trust me. Do it before they leave today."

He left the archer alone on the rooftop then, alone with his thoughts. He watched the sun until it came fully into view, a beautiful sight that always made him smile.

He could do it.

He had to do it.

He had to confront his demons, had to get rid of them.

Then he could focus on getting better.

Then he could focus on being Clint Barton again.


	14. 14

No Barton or car at the apartment. After a three and a half hour drive, the craft she sent ahead confirmed none at the farm house either. And that's what had her worried. Sure, he probably wouldn't be there in such a short amount of time, but the craft couldn't find his car anywhere it should be along the route.

He had no where else to go, no where else he WOULD go. So how had he vanished all of a sudden?

"You're biting your lip, Natasha." Steve commented from the driver seat, and she stopped, just so he wouldn't point it out. They were an hour out of their original position now, heading back to New York. "I'm sure he's fine. He can handle himself."

"Under normal circumstances, yes." She replied, with a nod, her head falling back to look up at the SUV's roof. "But he's hurt, physically and emotionally."

"He's a spy, Tony's comments couldn't have hurt him that bad." Steve sighed, and she let out a dry laugh.

"He's not a spy. He's a damn fine agent, yeah. But not a spy.." She whispered the last line. She wouldn't be able to handle him if he were a spy.

"But he's had spy training, has he not? Says so in his file.." Captain sounded confused, so she elaborated for him.

"I suppose, technically, he is. But he doesn't act like one. He's kind hearted, he's a joker, always trying to be funny, always trying to be a lady's man.. He's no spy. Spies are cold hearted, calculating, methodical.."

"You're a spy. Are you those things?"

"More than most, Cap." She sighed, her head rolling a little to look at the man beside her.

"But not around him." He commented, and she recalled the joking he and Tony gave her last time she was with him.

She gave him a slight smile and nodded, looking out her window to hide the bigger smile that crept its way to the surface. "He brings out the best in people.. I just can't be mad around him, can't be the Black Widow around him."

"That's lo-"

"Say it and I'll kill you right here, right now." She growled, knowing by the sound of his voice he was smirking. The chuckle just made her growl even more.

Sure, she loved Clint as a friend, as a partner. But the 'love' Steve and Tony kept suggesting? That wasn't her style. Wasn't his style. He was a playboy, not a lover. That wasn't for her. That was a sentiment she never understood and would never give a thought to.

"Say what you want, but I know it when I see it." He said when his chuckles died down, and she raised an eyebrow at his words. She didn't look at him though, she could see his reflection on her window.

"Oh? So who was the girl the ice-pop loved?"

Silence. She smirked. She found a nerve that shut the great Captain America up. Now she just needed to find on for Tony and she'd be set for life!

Though a half hour later, she was actually a little worried she really pissed him off since he hadn't spoken a word.

Oh well! He started it!

"Wait! Go back!" She pretty much shouted, causing the Captain to slam on the breaks.

"What's wrong?" He asked as he looked around, she noted that he was in defence mode.

"His car was in that motel. We must have completely missed it on the way up."

He nodded and turned the car around, a sigh escaping his lips. She grinned, she must have really scared him!

She checked the reg plate of the car as they parked by it and smiled, it was Clint's alright, the Iowa plates reading "ARR05", Stark's smart attempt at naming the car Arrows, though Clint decided on Charlotte of all names.

"There're fifteen rooms here. How do we find him?" Steve asked as he exited the car, fixing his leather jacket as he looked around the run down place.

"We ask, genius." She smirked, wondering what kind of mad plan his mind was coming up with.

He followed her, though stopped outside the reception to let her go in.

Inside, she was greeted by a not too happy looking young lady, probably a college teen trying to make some money. Natasha cleared her throat and smiled when the girl finally drew herself away from the magazine.

"My husband fell asleep before telling me which room we were in, he's silly like that." She giggled, though she realised when the other woman didn't look at all bothered that she needn't put on an act. "Mind letting me know?"

"Name." The lady behind the counter simply said, flicking through her magazine once more.

Name.

Crap.

Name.

He wouldn't use Clint, she knew he wouldn't. If he was hiding from them, he wouldn't in case they traced the name.

She ran through a list of his ID's before internally groaning. Of course he would.

"John Wetton?" She answered, and she had to raise an eyebrow when the young lady's head shot up.

"Mr Wetton? He has a wife?" She asked in shock, continuing when Natasha nodded. "I'm sorry to tell you this, honey. But he not so subtly hinted I should go to bed with him.."

The smirk that spread across Natasha's lips must of confused the poor motel worker.

If he was doing that, if he was cracking jokes and trying to score with the ladies, she was getting the Clint she knew back.

"Well, room number four, Mrs. Wetton.." She eventually said, and Natasha thanked her before leaving.

Steve was outside leaning against wall, though he quickly followed her as she went towards the 4th room.

"Well?" He asked softly, her finger going to her lips to silence him as an answer.

"Mr. Asia is in here." She whispered as quietly as possible, smirking at his confusion before taking a pin from her hair.

Hunching down a little, she began picking the lock with the bobby pin. They were damn useful for such common objects!

In no time at all, the door was open. She nodded to Steve who went in first, both knowing he'd probably attack and Steve would be able to take an arrow better than Natasha.

Inside though, she could see nothing. Not because it was dark, but because there was nothing to be seen.

The bed was a little ruffled, the quiver of arrows thrown next to it. His suitcase with clothes was lying on the floor and bandages were by it.

She got a bad feeling, panic taking her as she moved around the room. Maybe someone got to him. He wasn't SHIELD's best friend right now after all.

She gave Steve a worried look, the soldier looking just as worried.

"Bows not here but he wouldn't leave his arrows."

"For fucks sake, Tash! You nearly got yourself shot!" Both her and Steve jumped at the yell, looking around for it before the laugh gave away that he was hiding under the bed.

Steve raised an eyebrow at her and she shrugged, not knowing why he was laughing either. She watched as Steve went over and flipping the bed onto it's side, she flipped on the lights in the mean time.

Barton was then lying on his back smiling up at them, and she couldn't help but smile back as Steve helped the archer to his feet.

"Next time, announce yourself." He smiled, wiping the dust off his trousers.

"Yeah, like you still wouldn't have shot." She sighed, her eyes rolling before they were glued to his midsection. She could see the bruising poking itself out of the make shift shirt bandage he had around his damaged ribs. He was such an idiot, and that nervous chuckle just made her all the more annoyed at him!

"There's a kit out in the car, Natasha. Go get it and I'll fix him up." Steve said in his usual commanding voice, and she nodded, knowing that her partner needed the help.

She gave Clint a slight frown before leaving, heading to the SUV in search of the kit.

She was seriously sick of him being hurt! When they got back to New York, he was being wrapped in bubble wrap weather he liked it or not.

She paused at the door when she returned, (having been a moment longer than expected when she couldn't find the proper bandages) eyebrows furrowed a little in concentration as she listened into the males conversation. Hawkeye sounded weird to her, so she had to eavesdrop!

"It's fine. I know all of you recovered in no time. I know you all expected me to aswell. Since Natasha did, after all. But I just can't. I have none of the powers you guys have, I don't have the training the Black Widow has, the resistance to pain she's built up over the years. I'm a guy with a bow and a brain. I don't turn into a monster, don't have armour protecting me. I have no torture experience, no super serum or a magic shield. I have a good shot, that's it. Like Stark said, I probably got lucky in that fight."

She frowned at his words, how could he think such a thing? He was just as skilled, if not more skilled, than she was. Sure, he wasn't a fighter, probably never would be, but he made up for that by being, well, Clint.

He was right by saying she recovered quicker, but that's just because she didn't have as severe wounds as he had. She had a little bruising, a few cuts, that was about it. And sure, she didn't complain, because she was trained that way. But if she thought for a single moment that being like that would make Clint question things the way he was now, she'd have run around all of New York and Manhattan and told everyone just how much pain she was in.

"You know like all of us do that you're a damn good fighter." Steve corrected, and Natasha nodded even though no one could see her. She was just glad Steve was there to voice her opinions.

"Maybe. But maybe it's about time I just give up for a while. Take some time to be Clint Barton. Take some time away from being Hawkeye."

No. He couldn't leave. Her breath caught in her throat as he suggested that, and it was honestly the most upset she'd been in a while. If Hawkeye were gone, things wouldn't be the same. She wouldn't be the same. Sure, it had been a while since they'd had a mission together, but there was always the chance they could have. If that chance was gone, if the best duo that SHIELD had ever seen and will ever see was gone, there'd be no point in her staying either.

The silence from Steve made her guess the conversation was over, so she entered the room, going to hand Captain the medical kit.

She couldn't speak, could barely look Clint in the eye as he patched up. The fact that he felt so down about everything, so fed up, so willing to throw everything away, really got to her.

The room was silent though for the ten minutes or so it took for the bandaging to be complete.

"Thanks Cap! Feel much better!" He grinned, earning a suspicious look from Romanoff.

He was so happy now, so much like Clint again. Maybe he did just need to get some shit aired out of his mind.

"Most welcome. Now let's get back to New York. The others are probably worried." He replied as he packed away the first aid kit, his voice much softer than Natasha ever heard.

Looked like she wouldn't be the only one babying Barton now!

"Sounds great!" Barton grinned, going over to pack his bow and arrows back in their cases before grabbing his keys. "Now that I feel better, I can hit top mark on the freeway!"

"Oh no you don't!" Natasha growled, grabbing the keys form her partner. "I'm not having you running! You're going in the SUV with Steve. I'll bring Charlotte back home!"

"Charlotte?" Steve asked as he watched the pair, and the snicker she heard in his voice made her grin.

There was the fact Clint could run, yes. She didn't want that. But he also looked like hell and she didn't want him driving that long back. Crashes so very easily happen.

"No! You can't! You drive horribly!" He pretty much yelled, wide, worried eyes watching as a smirk spread across Romanoff's lips.

"Consider this your punishment then, bird brain." She whispered as she passed him, winking before leaving. She could see him chase her as she got into the car, and she laughed. The poor guy, maybe it was a little evil..

"Tash! Get back here!" His yells met her ears faintly, but she was still speeding down the freeway regardless.

May have been evil, yes, but she had always wanted to drive this beauty!

~~

She was back in New York in no time at all! She guessed Steve and Clint would only be halfway home by the time she was pulling into Barton's garage space.

Ok, maybe she did speed a little too much, but come on! When would she get a chance like that again?!

After parking the car, she left the garage and paused. It had been a while since she was up in his apartment. Last time she was, he was drunk and she had to carry him home.

Curious, she went up the stairs and to apartment 302. Not 302 apartments in the place, don't misunderstand! Just the second apartment on the third floor.

He actually lived in a nice part of town. Far enough away from the main city to be quiet, close enough to be walking distance to everything. And the building was beautiful too, all three bedroom apartments. She always figured that, even though it was just him, he wanted a house type place with an apartment price. He never had a proper home, after all. Or at least one he could properly remember.

Though, his apartment could be so better.

When she stepped inside, the stench of something stale hit her. She realised it was probably from the fridge. He hadn't been staying here in a while after all.

Turning on the light, she glanced around and sighed. He really should have something better. It was a little better last time she was here, now though, it looked like he lived in the one main room.

The sitting area housed a small coffee table, a small tv on a cardboard box, and a sofa which had a duvet and some pillows on it.

"Oh Clint.." She sighed as she walked in a little more, going to check the bedroom. The bed was flipped, there were arrows lining the wall, all embedded deep, the only thing left standing was his wardrobe that was left nearly empty since he had packed up to leave earlier.

Nightmares, she figured, had him too afraid to sleep properly, and had him shooting up his apartment. She knew from staying with him so many nights on missions that he was plagued with horrible dreams, ones that him waking up with screams and in sweats, some nights they were even bad enough to have him looking for comfort.

As she left the apartment she decided she'd have to talk to Tony about this. He'd do something to help.

She'd have to stay with her partner a while too.

He needed it. And, to be honest, he deserved a while of minding and pampering.

~~

"Just something simple!" She said for what must have been the billionth time in the past half hour, though Tony was having none of it.

As soon as she got back to the tower and told Tony the idea of doing up Clint's apartment, he went into full project mode. He currently had JARVIS showing a hologram of Clint's entire apartment, even the balcony/fire escape area she didn't know about.

All the rooms now housed elaborate designs, and he was currently working on his favourite part, a little area on the fire escape he could watch the world go by like he was the past few nights ontop of the tower.

"I think we passed 'simple' when I put in the target practice room." Tony said casually, spinning the hologram to look at his work with a slight grin. "Don't worry about money, I'll pay for it all."

"Least you could do." She scoffed, his glare not even phasing her.

"Look, I said I'll apologise to him, what more do you want?"

"Build a time machine and go back so it never happens." She replied as if it were a very plausible action, though for Tony, it could be.

"He'll get over it. He's not a baby, no matter how much you treat him like one."

"He's thinking of giving up because of you!" She yelled, hands slamming down on the table infront of her. "He did everything right, went through hell during that fight, and all he gets is hell from SHIELD, injuries galore, and a horrible insult from the guy who made him become a hero in the first place!"

Wow. She found something to shut Tony Stark up!

"Look, Widow, I didn't know he was listening.."

"And you think that makes it better?" She asked in genuine shock, surprised he was actually trying to make excuses for how he acted.

"Well, no, but if he's thinking of quitting you can't just blame it on me." He sighed, closing down all his computers to look her in the eye. "I may have given him a push, yeah, but one little comment wouldn't make him change his whole mind set."

"So, what then? He just leaves and that's it?" She couldn't hide the hurt in her voice, she wanted so much for Tony to be the one to blame, just so she could blame someone. "He's too good for that. He's too good for what the world has done to him."

She glared at him when a smirk appeared, knowing what was coming. "Why, agent Romanoff, I do believe that's l-"

"Stop saying that!" She growled, throwing a wrench at him. She found herself actually annoyed that he dodged the hit.

"You and Steve don't know anything, Stark." Thank god her normal composure was back! "I need to keep him alive. I need to keep him healthy. If he's not, I don't have a partner, and SHIELD loses their best team."

"You keep thinking that if it gets you through the day, sweetheart!" He laughed, wiping his hands on a cloth when he put the wrench back into the tool box.

She paused then, Looking Stark up and down for a moment when he wobbled a bit. He looked like hell. And she realised it was well past 5:30 am.

An eyebrow raised by her caused one to raise by him. "What?"

"Trouble sleeping?" She asked softly, honestly worried. While everyone was worried about Clint because he was, technically, the most injured, they seemed to forget Tony basically died.

"I don't want to talk about it." He mumbled, going to busy himself with what looked like another piece of armour. She followed, leaning against the wall as she watched him.

"Pepper not notice you're not there at night?"

"Of course she does." He sighed, rubbing his forehead in annoyance, a trait she realised he had within their first week of meeting. "But I just tell her I'm upstairs on my shift with Clint."

She nodded a little and let the conversation drop, until Stark sighed and placed down the screw driver. "Look, I'll be fine."

"Really?"

"Really. It's barely been a week. Of course I'm going to have trouble. I think all of us are." He said quietly, leaning back in his chair then.

"And if things get too bad?" She asked curiously, moving from the wall.

He shrugged, sending her a smirk then. "I'll get you to knock me out for the night."

She smirked back. Hitting Tony each night sounded perfect to her!

"Sir, Agent Romanoff." She glanced up to the roof at JARVIS' voice, an eyebrow raised. "Agent Barton has broken into the holding cell."

Tony and Natasha looked at each other with wide eyes before pretty much running towards the elevator.

What was the idiot thinking, going to Loki again!?

If he had a set back because of this, she was going to kill him!

And if not, she was still going to kill him!

As they waited for the elevator to reach the cell floor, her gut knotted more and more.

Why were men so idiotic sometimes..


	15. 15

"So, he returns, does he?" Barton's hands curled into fists at the gods words, sure it wasn't threatening or anything, but the ass was standing in that cell like he was perfectly comfortable.

He just stared at the slick haired monster infront of him, trying to form the sentences he wanted to say in his mind.

Loki raised an eyebrow before grinning and shrugging, sitting cross legged on the ground inside his cell then. "I'm not going anywhere. So, I'm listening, son of Barton."

"I honestly don't think there's anything to say.." Clint replied as confidently as he could, though he cursed himself for the hitch in his voice.

"Then why are you here? Wish to keep me company? How very ki-"

"Oh just shut up, will you?" Clint intereupted, and the god looked shocked. Well, more like an impressed kind of shocked. "We get it, you're full of yourself, just quit it."

"Barton. Out of the room, now." He sighed at Captain's voice, turning to see the whole gang there. Great. Trust JARVIS to tell!

"Cap, can y'just.." He started whining with a pout, motioning from him to Loki and back again. "Ok?"

Natasha smirked a little. He was so childish sometimes when he wanted something. She looked to Rogers who had an eyebrow raised in confusion.

"I don't understand, but it wasn't a request, soldier. Out. Now."

"It's fine, Steve." She said by his side, surprised when Clint sent her a wink, his attention turning back to the God. She heard Thor growl from behind her, all the men taking defensive poses. She just folded her arms and watched. She trusted her partner as far and further than Hulk could throw him.

"Done with your squabbling? For a team, you aren't all very team like.." Loki said once Clint turned to him once more, though he held his hands up when it looked like Barton was about to tell him to shut it again. "You have the floor, Clint."

"I just need you out of my mind." He said quietly, advancing towards the Tesseract barrier as he spoke.

Natasha took a step each time he did, ready to pull her partner back if he got dragged into Loki's game again. She couldn't handle that again. A fully healed (or there abouts) Clint would definitely pull the trigger.

"Not going to happen." The god smirked, and both Natasha and Clint stopped at his words.

Now they were threatening, and they caused Natasha to fall back into a defensive state like the others in the room.

"Clint. Step back." She warned, worried now since Loki had stood up and advanced towards the barrier aswell.

Barton ignored her though, he needed to get these things out, needed to confront his demons. He glanced back and Banner who just gave him an encouraging nod, so he was reassured to continue.

"You were knocked out of me once.." Clint began, though he was quickly cut off.

"I can't be kicked out that easily." Loki smirked, leaning on the barrier as if trying to get a closer look at Clint. It sent a chill down the archer's spine. "I was just knocked to the back of your mind. I'll resurface with the slightest of nudges, just like that last day. Why do you think you're here, Clint?"

Natasha reached out to grab her partners elbow, noticing how he tensed when Loki called him Clint.

"Hawk, come on.." She whispered, pulling him a little. "He doesn't deserve your time.."

He didn't listen though, he just pulled his arm away and stared the Asgardian right in the eyes.

"To get rid of my demons.."

"Wrong. To seek them out," the confused silence from not only Clint, but the others, prompted him to continue. "You had power with me. And so you'll come looking for me. Searching that power, the one only I can give."

He clenched his jaw when he thought about it, and he could've sworn he actually heard the wheels turning in Natasha's mind as she tried find some sort of response to get him away.

Of course he had power with Loki, he felt more powerful and more in control of his situations with him than ever before. But it wasn't Clint. It was Loki controlling Clint.

She needed to get him out of here. Hawkeye was known for being easily wound up. If Loki did it to him, who knows what would happen.

"Maybe. But there are others who can help me with that." He finally responded, as close to the barrier now as he was willing to go.

Natasha had to hold out an arm to stop Thor, the god of thunder was about to charge and take Clint by force. He calmed though when Romanoff sent him a bit of a death glare. This was Clint's fight, not theirs.

"I don't think so," Loki scoffed, and Barton so desperately wanted to smack that smirk off his cocky face. "No one can stand up to me. No one at all."

"Really?" Barton laughed, scratching the top of his head as if trying to remember something. "As far as I remember, me and my friends did a pretty good job with that!"

Natasha smiled as she watched him, he always had the effect of changing the atmosphere with just one sentence, this was no different. Even though not looking at them, she could feel the other Avengers relax, and could hear Thor beside her give a hearty chuckle.

"Friends?" Loki scowled, and Barton nodded, arms folded across his chest now. He raised an eyebrow at the dry, humourless laugh the god gave. "Please. You're smarter than that! They'd sell your soul in a second!"

He paused at those words, glancing over his shoulder for a moment at the group behind him. Sure, he didn't know them all that well, and only really truly trusted Natasha, but that doesn't mean he didn't love each and every one of them. They were through too much together for it to be any other way. The smiles he received in return told him they felt the same.

"Y'see, Loki.." He began, cracking his neck a little to relieve the tension there, as calm as he could be in that situation though. "I know being loved is a foreign concept to you, but-"

"Loved?" His laugh was really starting to annoy Barton, though this one was a little more scary, it cause him and Romanoff to take a step back. "Are you really that juvenile!?"

Silence from the outside. That's what the laughing god was met with. And it made him smirk at Clint all the more.

This was beginning to feel bad to Natasha. She had this sudden urge to just grab her partner, run off to the horrible apartment he called home, and hide him away from danger. He was doing too well for it to be messed up now!

Clint just stared at the god in the cube, knowing full well what was coming. He was inside Clint's mind, Natasha was here, this wasn't going to end well. The archer just dropped his eyes, having no response. Or, at least, none he could give with so many people in the room.

"Oh.. You really do think she loves you.." Clint's gaze stayed downcast, the softness and, sadness? in Loki's voice was just a trick, he had to remind himself of that. "Oh Clint.. You poor idio-"

"You know nothing.." He mumbled, hands by his side now as his hands curled into fists.

Natasha was watching on in confusion, not knowing what was going on now. Same as the other Avengers. Though she froze when the God's sight landed on her.

"I know enough, right, Agent Romanoff?" That smirk.. She wished she would knock it off his face so badly.. She didn't answer. He didn't deserve an answer. "Love is for children. She has a debt to pay."

She flinched a little, her words sounded so harsh coming from Loki, and the way Clint's shoulders tensed she guessed it wasn't the words he wanted to hear.

She didn't want to love.. He was her debt.. It all started to click for Clint now.

"Tell me, why does she only 'love' you when you're injured?" Silence once more filled the room, and she couldn't stop herself glancing at Clint.

She wished she hadn't.

His eyes were staring back at her, over his shoulder. They held anger in them, yes, but the slight wetness of his lashes told her that something in him was breaking from these words.

"Clint.." She whispered, but she couldn't say anything else, because Loki was once more at it.

"I'll tell you why. That debt she has! She only loves you so you don't go and kill yourself. To give you a reason to stay. To have someone to cover her back. She doesn't love you, Clint. She loves the idea of having someone there to take a fall for her."

This silence was different. This silence was 'The fuck did he just do?' silence. No one moved, no one even dared take a breath. They all just watched Barton to see what he would do.

He couldn't believe what Loki told him. He couldn't, Loki lied, that was it. Plain and simple.

Glancing back once more at his partner, he finally felt something in him break. The loss of hearing, the fever, the gun shots, the stab wounds, the time he fell so bad that he couldn't breathe. And now, the battles aftermath. Those are the only times he saw her smile. The only times she was kind to him, worried for him, helping him..

Loki was right.

Natasha didn't love him. He was a fool for thinking otherwise.

"Don't listen to him, Barton.." She whispered, but it was too late. Loki had gotten to him.

She frowned when her partner looked away once more, his breathing getting pretty jagged as anger over took him.

She looked to the prison when Loki laughed quietly. He just did the impossible. He broke apart the best SHIELD team there was.

"Your silence says it all, Agent Barton."

An arrow flew at the force field and bounced off it before anyone even noticed the bow was drawn, leaving the whole room in shock. Except the god inside the cube, he was fully expecting it!

"Enjoy prison, asshole." Barton growled as he left the room, just pushing past his 'team' as he went, not a glance given to any of them.

He needed to be alone. He needed the roof.

"We need a muzzle for him." Tony sighed as he ran a hand through his hair, turning from watching Barton so he could stare at the still grinning prisoner.

"Brother, you know not what you've done." Thor growled as he entered the cube, the exchange then too quiet for the rest of the team to hear.

"Natasha?" She finally looked up at Steve's call, the captain watching her curiously. "I don't know if any of that was true, I don't need to know."

She nodded a little, but he continued on. "Barton thinks it is though and he may need you to change that, otherwise his trust in us is gone."

She sighed and left, not bothering to entertain a conversation with them. That's all Steve really cared about, being a soldier and all. The good of the team out weighs the good of the one.

She knew she should have dragged her partner from the room before it started.

It's not like she didn't love him, he was her best friend, her partner. She always knew he loved her in the other way, but she just doesn't love that way.

She sighed once more as she entered the elevator, heading towards the roof to find her partner.

She didn't love him.. She couldn't love him.. Could she..?

~~

He couldn't talk to her on the roof. He was too angry at Loki and he didn't want to take it out on her. She was innocent in all this.

Though, that didn't mean she wasn't hurt by it. He could see it in her eyes. He was usually fine with opening up to her, but when it's to do with the fact that she didn't love him, he just couldn't.

Now, though, as they stood side by side on the road, watching as the Tesseract was loaded into the device Banner and Stark designed, he was feeling alot more calm.

Maybe it had to do with that fact Loki looked thoroughly roughed up and beaten in the muzzle.

Tony had told the two of them how there was a little brotherly fight after they left. Why did Barton miss all the good stuff!?

He couldn't keep his eyes off the blue cube before them. So much destruction and damage was caused by that one item. How were these things even possible? He'd feel a hell of alot better if there was a way it could be destroyed, but Thor looking after it would have to do.

Natasha wasn't as focused on the cube, she was more worried about the man standing next to her. In the past few hours, he had barely looked at her, barely acknowledged her. She already missed the smiley joking Clint Barton who would harass the hell out of her for shits and giggles.

When Loki looked in their direction, she could see his jaw tense, could feel his body go rigid. So, she did the one thing she knew would relax him. She leaned over to whisper in his ear. "I've heard of kinky, but Tony having a muzzle lying around is a little far.." Bad jokes always got him.

And it worked this time too. He relaxed and smirked, giving her a wink then.

With a nod from Thor and a blast of light, the two gods were gone, back to who knows where.

Everyone stood amazed for a moment, before people started moving. Tony saying goodbye to Captain who was off on a training mission, Widow going to the SHIELD car to get a bag for Banner, Banner following to help.

All except for Hawkeye. He stood for another moment, just staring up into the sky. He was so done with gods and magic. He felt no better than he had before the conversation with Loki, he felt worse actually. Now his chance to put an arrow through his skull was gone for who knows how long.

"Hey, Trickshot," He frowned at the nickname, that wasn't his to take, but Tony didn't know that so he'd give the billionaire the benefit of the doubt. He looked at Stark and nodded for him to continue. "I'm sorry for the circus comments.. Don't take things I say to heart."

Clint actually smiled at that, the great Tony Stark was admitting a wrong doing!

Barton nodded and took the handshake Stark offered. "We need you around. You saved our asses alot in that fight."

He was gone then, off to his convertible with Doctor Banner. Clint watched for a moment before sighing and heading over to the SHIELD car, glancing around once more before getting in and waiting for Natasha.

"Back to HQ. Fury said the counsel are getting restless." She said as she got in the passenger side, allowing Clint drive this once!

She looked to him when he sighed, frowning a little as he drove.

A smile spread across her face as she reached over to stroke his cheek gently. "Relax. They owe you. You'll be fine."

It always amazed him how one little touch was enough to get rid of all his worries.

Now though, he hated it.

How was he going to trick himself out of love with Natasha Romanoff..?


	16. 16

"They're not going to come to you, y'know." Natasha said softly, a slightly amused look on her face.

Herself and Clint had been sitting outside SHIELD head quarters for a good twenty minutes now. She'd never seen the archer this shaky, not during any mission, not through their fights or training, not even the time he broke her weapons. So, she was letting him take his time.

Clint just gave a nervous chuckle as a response, still staring out at the building next to them.

He wanted to run. So desperately wanted to run away and just be done with all of this. A dictator, no problem. International arms dealer? Easy! But being scolded? Well, after the incidents in the homes as children, he never could take it well. His phobia of it got worse after how things were dealt with in the circus.

You're an agent now Clint. You're an agent feared through out the world. This is no problem.

Telling himself that over and over didn't really seem to help matters!

The hand on his arm though? It seemed to work.

"Relax." She whispered, patting his arm to get his attention. He looked back to his partner to see a soft smile. "Fury and I will be right outside the room, ok? If things seem to be getting bad, he'll cut them off."

"Then they'll be angrier." He frowned but she just shrugged and unclipped his seat belt for him.

"Screw it. Not like they can fire you. Let's just get this over with and we'll go get some ice-cream."

He grinned at that, she knew how to use his sweet tooth well!

"Deal!" and just like that, he was fine! He jumped out of the car and grabbed his bow an arrows, no way he was going without them! "But you're paying!"

"Obviously. As if you'd ever pay your own way on a date." She laughed, getting out after him and sauntering to the building.

Date.

He wished!

~~

He was in this room exactly three times before in his life time. The first, when Coulson was introducing him to the counsel.

The second, when he was shot through the chest and the counsel had to 'congratulate' him on, well, living.

The third, when he was begging for his life after letting Natasha live.

It was honestly the worst room in the building. People watching an agent going into it know that something's going down that they don't want to be a part of whatever it is.

This was no exception. The four glass screens infront of him would soon flicker to life and show the four most powerful people in the world, the four people who have the authority to end the world if they wanted to, the people who could kill off an entire country just because it pissed them off and make it look like an accident.

Now that he was thinking of it, he wouldn't be surprised if they were in charge of earthquakes and tsunami's.

The people were terrifying, but the room was designed to be aswell. Grey walls, a single chair, the four screens, a single lone light bulb above the persons head, no other people normally allowed in, and freezing cold. Purposely. The hum he could hear of the air conditioning proved that, and the sound of it didn't help the atmosphere. Claustrophobic too. He guessed it would hold maybe another four, five people max.

As she promised, Natasha was waiting outside the room with Fury, a small screen in the man's hand holding a camera feed from one they planted on Barton's chest. Fury wasn't about to lose his best agent and Natasha wasn't about to let Clint shoot all four screens.

"They're taking their time, huh?" She sighed as she watched the screen, glancing from it to the door and back again a few times. Clint's leg was bouncing so fast it shook the camera. She had to smile at how nervous he was.

"They know how to get to people. Spent their lives doing it." Fury explained, his one good eye not leaving the screen in his hands. "Barton, relax. The more confident you seem, the more confused they'll get, the better you'll come out of this."

"Got it, boss." Clint replied through his comms, instantly stopping with the leg shaking. "Though I don't think I'm getting out of this without a few arrows flying."

Fury and Natasha both smirked, both would love to see the counsels faces if that happened.

"Just do what I say if you're in trouble and you'll be fine." Natasha said through her comms, the slight movement on screen giving her the idea that he nodded.

"Remember that for the bedroom, Tash." Clint smirked, having to take the opportunity to annoy his partner.

She scoffed and growled something in Russian, though he hadn't used the language in so long that he couldn't quite figure it out.

"I know thinking about it gets you excited, Widow. But mission focus for now!"

"When you get out here, you better run." She growled down the set, though she had to smile when Clint gave quite a happy laugh.

They all fell silent though when the four screens in the room flickered on one by one, the not too happy at all looking faces of the counsel members looking back at the archer.

He never knew their names, he actually didn't know if any agent knew them. Fury did, but he never told so it was obviously to be a secret.

"Mr. Barton.." The male on the far right began, and Clint made the first mistake by cutting him off.

"Agent Barton, sir." He corrected, knowing that in SHIELD HQ that's what he's to be addressed as. He could hear both Natasha was Fury sigh at his remark.

He was going to be killed.

"For now." The counsel man growled, he was the older man of the group. Though this room really annoyed him because the screens only allowed the person see the bottom part of their faces. The wrinkles gave away his age though.

"You have a long list of crimes against you, Barton." The woman this time, her voice as cold as he remembered it. He grinned a little, his hands in the camera's view so he could sign to Natasha.

"She'd make me wanna be deaf.. Her poor husband."

"Focus Barton." She said in the comms to him, though his signing did make her have to stifle a laugh.

"I'm just saying!" He discretely signed back, face trying to stay blank infront of the counsel.

"With all do respect, ma'am, my record was wiped when I joined SHIELD." He replied in his monotone, business voice, trying to be respectful but he really hated it!

"Joining a warlord just last week was not, though." The accent guy. French? He never could put his finger on just what part of the world he was from. "The crimes you committed not only against SHIELD, but against the world is enough for a death sentence."

"Then hang me." He shrugged, watching the mouths of the four squeeze into tight lines.

"That's it." Fury said from outside, a grin on his face.

Natasha looked to her boss like he was mad, Clint had just done something stupid, why was Fury praising him.

He answered her question through the comms to Clint. "Not too cocky, Barton. But call out their threats all day long."

Barton smirked a little and leaned back in his chair, watching the four for the next move before realising the ball was in his court.

"I'll go make the noose now, if you want. Or I have my arrows here, I could blow one up and save you guys the hassle."

"That won't be necessary," third guy finally spoke, breaking the counsel's silence. "They're death offences, but you're a credible agent."

"Finally! Someone's talking sense!" Barton grinned, giving an over dramatic slow clap to the man. "Let go for drinks sometime, tall dark and really not handsome!"

"Silence!" Old guy this time. He had a very high school principal vibe off him.

"Yes sir." Hawkeye saluted, sitting to attention before laughing a little. "Look guys, say what you want to say so I can get out of here, ok?"

"You don't leave until we tell you to." Woman. Think she'll now be known as Vivian. She strikes Clint as a Vivian!

"Vivian's mad.." He signed to the camera, though this time Natasha wasn't amused.

What was he playing at!? They literally held his life in their hands!

Then it hit her, and she couldn't help but growl at his selfishness. "Clint Barton. If you're planning on getting yourself fired I'll kill you with your own arrows."

He grinned. Trust Widow to figure his mind out.

"Sorry, I'm knocking you off." He signed once more to the camera before reaching to his bracelet and knocking his comms off. He would knock the whole thing off, but he still needed to hear the counsel.

"Look, guys." Barton sighed, standing up then as he could faintly hear Natasha ranting through the door. It wasn't the most sound proof room.

"I was a victim." He started, now standing close to the monitors as if it would make him see them any better. "I was taken over, I was made do some horrible things that will haunt my nights for years to come. I killed men, I attacked my home, I attacked my best friend. I helped a self obsessed god kill my mentor."

He had to pause after that sentence, he was cracking. He could feel the tears well up at the mention of everything he did.

"That's exactly why you're here. Those need to be punished." Old guy said, but Clint held up a hand.

"Let me finish." He lifted up his shirt, bandages gone since he decided they needed to see how bad he was beat up. "I broke so many ribs that it hurts to take even little breaths. I have a banged up shoulder. My hearing is even more fucked than before. I have a head injury, I have infected wounds on my back, I'm out of trick arrows! Only normal ones left! You have any idea how much it costs me to make those!?"

Natasha, while nearly in tears herself, had to laugh a little at his rant. Of course the thing he felt most upset about was his lack of arrows!

"All this, while you four were tucked away somewhere ordering missile strikes on innocent civilians. Civilians WE saved."

"Damn right we did!" Natasha jumped ten feet in the air at Tony's voice, the billionaire standing watching the screen in Iron Man suit and all. Steve, in full Cap gear, by his side.

"Guys, what are you-"

"When one of us fight, we all fight." Steve answered before she could finish, but she made sure none of them knew about this hearing. Steve answered that too, "The comms. Tony had them linked to his own so he heard everything that was going on."

"Can you get us back in his head?" Fury asked Stark, and the helmet nodded before they heard Clint yelp in pain.

Natasha's head whipped back to the screen, thinking something happened to her partner. Though he was standing fine, just a slight shake in the camera and a few mumbled curses.

"Sorry Clint, that sharp noise was JARVIS, we had to get back to you." Tony said, though no reply since Barton was pissed off agent mode now.

While he wondered why Tony was in his head, he just continued on as normal.

"This isn't the first time. Bullet wounds in my shoulder, chest, leg, back, even one through my foot from some newbie you guys wanted me to train! Stab wounds, my loss of hearing, broken bones, post traumatic stress disorder, all from following your stupid command!" His fists were clenched tight, his bow taken from his back mid-rant out of instinct more than anything.

He hated the four infront of him. They were the reason for all his troubles, the reason he wanted out.

"Breathe Clint.." Natasha whispered in her comms, he was getting upset and she knew from the strain in his voice he was on the verge of a panic attack. He had them alot when thinking about the past.

"Agent Barton, while we thank you for your service.." Woman started, though he held a finger up to her so he could take a breath. Natasha would have killed him if he hadn't. "Your crimes are too much to be over looked."

"Oh, because wanting to wipe out New York and Manhattan would go over so well with the UN." He said sarcastically, sitting back down in the chair since he was sure a death sentence was about to come.

"We ordered what was best for the world." Foreign guy shouted, and it made Clint glare at the screens.

"You wouldn't know what's best for the world if it came at you with a sign and a three week warning! You're the reason New York happened! You're the reason Loki and lord knows who else is targeting Earth! Your insistence to develop weapons with forces you have no clue about is what's destroying this planet but you four are too over run with power to realise it!"

"Know your place, Hawkeye!" Principle screamed, but Clint was on his feet again, arrow drawn and pointed right at his screen.

"You're lucky I don't know yours because this would be in your eye socket right now!" He let it fly, let the arrow shatter the screen in a million pieces, and the other three had their members looking shocked at the sudden out burst.

"That threat's the last straw!" Ah Vivian, her screen was definitely next. "You're out of order!"

"Guys, we need to get in there." Widow said to the remaining Avengers, slight panic in her voice as she heard Hawkeye go on a full rant to the woman.

"On it." Tony replied, his hands raised barely a second before the door was blown down.

Clint had an arrow aimed at Vivian's screen as this happened, so he had to duck pretty quickly to avoid the beam. He was on the floor though, trying to get the ringing in his ears to stop and the coughing from the explosion.

"For god's sake Tony! You could have hit him!" Natasha screamed, herself and Steve running in.

Two set of hands were on him before he could gather his senses fully, and when he looked up he saw Steve and Natasha help him to his feet.

"You've lost control, Fury!" Frenchie shouted, and Natasha had to glare at him. Clint was a little wobbly after the shock of the explosion, and couldn't hear a thing right now.

"This man has given his all for SHIELD and the world." Fury shouted, the way he said it made Natasha think he's said the sentence to them on more than one occasion. "You should be at his feet praising him."

"He helped the attack, Director." Foreign guy this time, but Natasha had to catch Clint as he fell backwards. Steve was kneeling by his side supporting the archer so she took the opportunity to go stand next to Fury and Stark.

"He was brainwashed." She said with a pretty angry frown, and Stark nodded in agreement, his mask up to let the remaining counsel members see.

"He's suffered enough. Just let him off." She was surprised to hear Tony say that. He usually never cared about anything.

"If you knew the amount we let go with this man, Stark, you'd be amazed." The woman shouted back, and Natasha could tell why Clint had an arrow aimed at her. She really was annoying.

Clint was just watching from the floor, no sound coming through though. He had a feeling the blast knocked his aids off line. Steve was by his side, that's all he could register, though the captain was just watching the events unfold like Hawkeye was. What were they even doing here? This was his fight, not theirs. This was his one to lose and his alone.

"Steve, hearing's gone.. It has me dizzy." He stuttered out to the Captain, and that got his attention. He nodded a little just to let Clint know he heard him, carefully helping the fallen archer to rest against the wall.

"I saw his file, I know it all, I even remember these two stealing my weaponry a few years ago." Natasha grinned at his words, she hoped so much he forgot about that! "If I could forgive them after doing nothing in return, you can and will forgive Clint after oh, I don't know, helping save the damn world!"

"If we don't? We've already decided he's going to prison for the foreseeable future." Frenchie was rather calm in the whole situation, though he looked pretty scared when Stark's mask fell and he raised his hand.

"If you lay one finger on Hawkeye, you'll have the full Avengers and all of Asgard to deal with. God of Thunder has taken a liking to the guy. Don't want him angry, do we?"

Silence. Stark laid it all on the table for someone he barely knows. Natasha was shocked, though she kept her face blank as she watched the reaction from the counsel. This was Tony's apology. Tony's real apology. He was saving Hawkeye from, well, himself.

"Ok, Stark. Six month suspension. If he messes up once more.." The woman started, obviously having made up the mind of the counsel herself.

"You'll forgive him that time too." Fury said, and the two by his side nodded in agreement. "And that'll be paid suspension with holiday bonus."

The counsel members looked so pissed off, and they were about to reply before Tony cut them off once more.

"This isn't a negotiation. This is us stating the facts." Stark yelled, so much so even Clint could catch some words from his position now leaning against the wall.

"He's an Avenger. He's a hero. Treat him like one." Steve contributed from his position next to Clint, a nod to Stark to finish it up.

Three quick blasts and it was over, Tony destroyed the last three screens. Clint watched on in shock as it happened, everyone seemed so calm now, Steve was smiling at him and gently patting his back, so he figured he wasn't in trouble anymore.

The Avengers had saved him. But he wanted so much to be fired!

"They're going to be pissed." Natasha sighed, turning so she could talk with Fury.

"Actually, I don't think they will be." He replied, and Romanoff wondered if he had hit his head. They just threatened the most powerful committee in the world, how would they NOT be pissed!?

"They got a lesson in humility. The fact that the counsel woman changed her mind means they realise Clint is perfectly fine and they have no case against him."

Said man was finally on his feet again, though he was supported by his arm around Captain's shoulders. His inner ear, he now realised, was messed up. He couldn't get any balance.

"I think he needs the sick bay, sir." Steve said, though not in a worried way so Natasha knew it was nothing serious.

She smiled at her partner, his hearing was gone, she knew by the way he was trying to focus on everyone's lips moving.

"We're all good. You did well!" She signed, and he smiled. She knew he was changing their minds well enough on his own, but it never hurts to have a billionaire, super-soldier, expert killer, and the director of a killing organisation on your side.

"Didn't kill them.. Can I have two scoops for that..?." He said quietly, and she grinned, he didn't have his two hands so he couldn't sign back.

She knew he could have killed them. She knew he would have. That's why she was so glad they were just on screens.

"Come on, we'll get him fixed up and home to rest." Tony broke her thoughts, Steve already half way out the door with her partner. Cap and Stark led him to the sick bay while Natasha stayed with Fury a moment.

"R and R for a while, Widow. The suspension is actually a good thing." He finally said, feet kicking at the broken shards of screens like there was a chance of saving them. "I'm placing you in charge. New mission. One hundred per cent mental and physical. I want him training in three months, perfect by five, got it?"

"Got it." She nodded, turning to leave the room then, down towards sick bay where her partner was being checked out. Her new target, should she say.

A shiver ran down her spine. Stuck with Clint Barton for six months.. The worst patient ever..

This was going to be the death of her!


	17. 17

"Clint Barton!"

He jumped up from his sleep, eyes wide as he looked around the room.

Milk is there. Place is clean. Cooker is off.

Toilet seat.. No, after last time he'd never forget to put it down again! That was two weeks ago and he still had a lump on his head from her revenge!

What did he do wrong!?

Before he could think of it, she was at his door, eyes filled with anger as she glared at the archer sitting up in the bed.

He raised an eyebrow as he looked her over. She was in her training gear. She never trained this early..

Oh god..

"Tash! I'm sorry!" He paled, his voice pleading with her to not kill him as he jumped up from the bed to get ready to run. "I over slept! I had my alarm set and all!"

"This is the fourth time this week, Barton!" She yelled, and he had to tuck and roll to avoid a dagger that was thrown his way. "And it's only Thursday! You think I like getting up at six am to get your lazy ass back into shape!?"

She lunged, so he had the chance to roll past her and out the door, kneeling on one knee and crouched a little then as he looked at her.

"I'm sorry, I'll do four hours tomorrow to make up for it!" He grinned, hoping she could forgive him. The swift kick to the shoulder sending him flat on his back was his answer though. He groaned a little in pain and opened his eyes, seeing the scowling face of Natasha Romanoff, his partner, his minder for the past four months, staring down at him.

"Get changed. You're doing four hours right now."

And she was gone before he could reply, out of the apartment and down to the gym in the basement.

Tony's gift. As was this whole apartment. It now housed the latest gadgets and toys, two beautiful bedrooms, a target room for him to practice in, and a balcony he could actually sit out on!

None of that protected him from his partner though.. Nothing ever would.

He sighed and got back up to his feet, rubbing his now sore shoulder as he went to get changed. Four hours with an angry Natasha was going to hurt..

~~

Hurt it did!

He hit the mat hard for what felt like the billionth time, and it probably was. Two and a half hours in and he had only won nine of their thirty six spars. He lay there with his eyes squeezed shut, his muscles begging him to give up though he knew his partner wouldn't let that happen.

"Dammit Romanoff, you're gonna break my ribs again.." He said through his quick breaths, the feeling of a bottle landing beside him taking him off guard somewhat. He looked up to see Natasha holding out a towel to him.

"Take a break, Hawk. We'll go back through the set again then." She helped him sit up then went to her own bottle of water, and he watched on with a slight frown.

The past few weeks, the few weeks before and after he was fully healed, she had gone distant again.

Though, it helped. He was trying to fall out of love with the woman currently kicking his ass so the more distant she became, the better!

Still though, he missed her smile.

He wiped down his face and took some swigs of water, testing his muscles some before standing up. She was over in an instant, behind him, and he got into defensive mode, before he realised she wasn't attacking.

He turned around to look at her with an eyebrow raised, only to notice her holding his bow and arrow case.

How did she find that..? He had it pretty well hidden in his room.

"On second thought.." She started softly, handing him the case weather he liked it or not. "Been a while."

"It has.." He replied quietly, a little apprehensive about using it.

She knew why, and he had a feeling that she was testing the waters a little bit "Tash.."

"Just forget about it." She waved a hand dismissively at him,pressing a button on his bracelet to get targets in the room to drop down.

How could he..

"You're a marksman, Hawk." She smiled, and he melted a bit. He missed that sight so much! "That night was an accident, it wasn't you, so just get back into the swing of things."

He thought about it for a moment, carefully taking out the bow and sheath of arrows as he did.

~The nightmares had been bad, horribly bad. The two weeks he'd been back at the apartment, he probably slept about twenty hours. And that was always during the day, night time he couldn't handle. Night time, he stayed on the balcony, on his perch, watching the city as the life around him got back to normal.

He knew Romanoff wasn't stupid. She knew full well he wasn't sleeping. Though she didn't call him out on it, she was just letting him deal with things his way and he really appreciated it.

The heater now outside the refurbished apartment thankfully kept the night time chill away, otherwise he'd have to deal with a cold or flu ontop of all his other injuries.

Tony was doing so much for him, giving him a new home basically, giving Natasha a nice room to stay in while she looked after him, even building a training gym below the apartment block so he wouldn't have to track to SHIELD while recovering.

He closed his eyes as he sat there, breathing in the crisp air to relax his muscles.~

"Just like old times, ok?" Romanoff said softly, stepping back to let him shoot. He took a breath just like that night on the balcony and drew an arrow back, aiming at the dummy at the other end of the hall.

His eyes opened to a different scene entirely. The helicarrier..

~Loki was in his mind telling him to end it, laughing as he fought against his long time partner.

The knock to the head is usually where it ended, that's when the fight finished after all, but his nightmares weren't as forgiving.

He jumped up, catching Natasha off guard by sweeping her legs from beneath her. In an instant, the arrow was necked and aimed at her forehead.

"Clint.." She whispered, but he wasn't Clint, it wasn't Clint or Hawkeye in his mind, it was Loki. It was the trickster laughing in his mind, egging him on.

"Do it, Barton." He laughed, and Clint drew the arrow back further. "Kill her the way she fears most."

The way she feared most. By the hand of someone she trusted.

"Clint, just a dream, wake up." The shaking woke him more than her words, he could barely hear them.

In his sleeping state of mind though he took it as a threat. Grabbing his bow from beside him, he drew an arrow and sent it flying, jumping back as the woman screamed in surprise. A shoulder hit, not to kill, just to disarm.

Though he froze when he realised what he had just done, the bow dropping from his hand as he ran to Natasha's side. She was on the balcony floor, breathing sharply from pain as she held the arrow.

"Tash! I'm sorry Tash, I didn't know it was you!" He was panicking, but she just chuckled.

"It's fine.." Though the look in her eyes told him differently. "Not too deep.. Just carry me in and patch me up." ~

"Relax Clint.." She was behind him now, her hand resting gently on the one he had gripping the bow. He was shaking, he hadn't noticed but obviously she had. "Aim and shoot. It'll be fine."

He took a breath and nodded, letting the arrow fly. Her hand dropped his and she smiled at him, though his eyes were wide and terrified.

He dropped the bow and fell to his knees, the arrow had dug itself into her shoulder, she was on the floor in pain.

"Clint, it's ok." He heard beside him, Natasha was down by him, her hands gripping his shoulders to steady him, glancing over at where she was previously lying he saw the dummy he had aimed at. "It's ok, it was just a dummy. Nothing's happened."

He couldn't stop the tears falling, something that used to be first nature to him was now ridiculously difficult. She hugged him tight and let him calm down, his hands gripping the back of her shirt tightly.

Loki had taken him mind, taken his sanity, but worse now, he took his shooting.

And that's all he ever had to start with.

~~

"He's fine now, yeah." He heard her saying down the phone from his position on the sofa, his eyes glued to the cup of tea he held between his hands though. "Yeah, definitely PTSD. May take a while to crack."

He sighed and turned off his aids, not wanting to hear her rat out everything about his life now to Fury.

His hands gripped the mug a little tighter as he thought about exactly what that involved. The first few months were fine. He was recovering, so it was wake up, go to physio, relax with Natasha for the day. Some days Tony or Steve would drop by, they'd play darts or cards and it would be fine.

But night time got to him. Night time brought Loki, night time brought nightmares, night time brought the paranoia that maybe, just maybe, his mind was slipping back into the god's control.

And that night, on the balcony, he just slipped completely.

No sleep would do that to anyone, but he was an agent, he should have been more careful and much more aware of his surroundings. The morning after that, he packed up his bow and arrows and didn't give them a second thought, until an hour ago when she decided to spring them on him.

He couldn't hurt her. He couldn't hurt his team. If he had then, he would and he knew he would.

A 'click' let him know she turned his aids back on, damn Stark for giving her a bracelet too! Now he could never have peace when he wanted!

"When'd you stop taking the pills, Clint?" She asked as she sat on the coffee table opposite him, though his eyes stayed on his tea. "Fury said you haven't picked up your prescription in two months."

"Pleading the fifth here." He said with a slight grin, trying to change the subject. Yeah, he stopped taking the pills that helped with his PTSD. He wanted to get over it on his own, not with medications help.

"Don't pull that bullshit." She growled, kicking his shin so he'd jump and finally look at her. "We need you back shooting."

He narrowed his eyes at her. And here he thought she was worried about him. But no, she and Fury just need 'Hawkeye' back. They couldn't give a rats ass about Clint Barton.

"Look, it's my choice, ok?" He growled back, standing up to bring the cup to the sink. "If I don't want to take them, I don't have to."

"Then we'll admit you until you do." She said that so calmly, it made him freeze as he washed up his dishes. Had they discussed sending him to a mad house before..?

It wouldn't surprise him.

He finally sighed and shook his head, turning to look at her as he dried his hands on a tea towel. "What do you want from me? I let you live here, let you watch me all you like, I went along with the healing, even agreed to come back to SHIELD. What more is there?"

He was stone faced, his voice cold, and he could tell by the look in her eyes that it hurt her. She advanced slowly, standing right infront of him, toes touching toes.

"I want my partner back." She whispered, and his mouth fell open in surprise. "I want to go on missions again, like old times. I want you to beat these demons, because if you let them over run you, then I lose the most important person in my life.."

"Nat.." He whispered, too lost for words. She wasn't looking at him, she was instead watching as her fingers traced a button on his shirt.

"I'm fine, Loki's gone, you're not going to hurt anyone. But people will get hurt if the two of us aren't out kicking ass again." That time, she was looking in his eyes, her hand up and resting on his cheek. "Grab the darts, we'll go to the target room and take things slow. We have two months left, we can beat this."

He stood for another moment as he tried gather his thoughts.

He was an archer, it was the only thing he ever knew, the only thing that ever defined him.

He was Hawkeye, the worlds greatest marksman.

He nodded, reaching into the drawer behind him to grab the box of darts he had in there.

She smiled at him and took his free hand, leading him off to the room for an evening of the most fun training he's had in a long time.

He was the joker of SHIELD. He was the one who shot apples out of peoples hands. He was the one who hid in vents and shot trick arrows at Natasha for the hell of it. He played dodge-ball with the newbies to get them used to evading. He threw in trick balls for the fun of it, to watch as Fury actually laughed at the look on their faces.

He was Black Widow's team mate, even though he hadn't acted like it lately and even though he definitely didn't deserve to be.

He was Clint Barton.

He was Hawkeye.

It was about damn time he started acting like it.

It was about damn time he forgot about what happened and moved on.


	18. 18

Another training session missed! That idiot! It was just wasting her time by this stage!

"Clint Barton!" She yelled as she stormed back into the apartment, knowing full well he was still asleep!

6:43am, they were to meet in the gym at 6am, and once again, he was no where to be found!

She kicked in his bedroom door to his him sitting up in his bed, looking scared shitless in his usual topless bedroom attire. She was too mad to be phased by his muscles.

But damn..

"Tash! I'm sorry!" He paled, his voice pleading with her to not kill him as he jumped up from the bed to get ready to run. Good, he should be scared! "I over slept! I had my alarm set and all!"

"This is the fourth time this week, Barton!" She yelled, the dagger leaving her hands after being pulled from the pouch on her belt. She knew he'd dodge, so she had no worries. "And it's only Thursday! You think I like getting up at six am to get your lazy ass back into shape!?"

She lunged for him, if this was going to work, she'd have to train him like this! He rolled out the door though, his reflexes were getting better at least. When she turned, he was kneeling on one knee and crouched a little as he looked at her.

"I'm sorry, I'll do four hours tomorrow to make up for it!" He grinned, but there was no way she was letting this slide so easily!

She gave a swift kick to the shoulder sending him flat on his back. She walked over and hovered over him as he groaned in pain, her arms crossed over her chest to let him know she wasn't amused.

"Get changed. You're doing four hours right now."

And she was gone before he could reply, out of the apartment and down to the gym in the basement.

For it being a sneak attack, he fared pretty well.

She smiled as she pressed the button in the elevator for the basement. He was getting better.

She'd have her partner back soon.

\----------

Or, maybe not..

She sighed internally when he charged for her, easily side stepping, grabbing his arms, and flipping him on his back for what was the 25th time.

A quarter, he can have a break now.

"Dammit Romanoff, you're gonna break my ribs again.." He said through his quick breaths. She threw a bottle of water by his side, he looked like he needed it.

A towel in one hand, she went over to stand above him, holding it out when he finally opened his eyes.

"Take a break, Hawk. We'll go back through the set again then." She helped him sit up, making sure he was steady before she went over for her own bottle of water.

After taking a gulp or two, she glanced under her own towel at the case she had brought this morning.

He had to get shooting again, she needed him shooting again so they could go back to SHIELD.

That, and, he was happiest when shooting.. His mind was at ease with a bow in his hand, everyone knew that.

She glanced over and smiled a little sadly at her partner on the floor. Now was as good a day as any to get rid of those demons he had.

She had every faith that she wouldn't be shot again. That was a one time thing and, honestly, it was entirely her fault. She should have known better after years of being with him that sneaking up on him, nightmare or no nightmare, was a bad idea.

She grabbed the case and went over behind him when he began to stand, shaking her head in amusement when she noticed him get into defensive mode.

He was a smart cookie sometimes!

The penny soon dropped that he wasn't on his back yet though, and he turned to look at her. The face he made when he noticed the case nearly killed her.

He does still feel guilty then..

"On second thought.." She started softly, handing him the case weather he liked it or not. "Been a while."

"It has.." He replied quietly, the look in his eyes telling her he was a little apprehensive about using it.

She knew why, but she had to throw him in the deep end if he was to get better. "Tash.."

"Just forget about it." She waved a hand dismissively at him,pressing a button on his bracelet to get targets in the room to drop down.

"You're a marksman, Hawk." She smiled, her head tilting a little when his hand twitched. "That night was an accident, it wasn't you, so just get back into the swing of things."

She smiled even more to herself when he finally took the bow and arrows out, it was going to be tough, but he needed this.

_~"Clint, I'm heading out, do you need anything?" She called, wincing as she pulled her jacket on. Even though he patched her up after the arrow shot last night, it was still understandably tender, and hurt like a bitch to move._

_No answer._

_He usually had a list of junk food a mile long each time she went shopping._

_Curious, she went into his room to see if he was awake. He did sleep during the day alot now._

_She smiled sadly at the sight before her, he was just sitting on the edge of the bed with an arrow on his lap, his eyes focusing on it like it would explode._

_"Hey.." She whispered, moving in to go sit next to him. Her arm wrapped around his shoulders, though she was surprised when he flinched. "Everything's fine.."~_

"Just like old times, ok?" Romanoff said softly, stepping back to let him shoot. He took a breath and drew and arrow back, probably aiming right at the dummy on the opposite side of the room. But she wasn't focused on that, she was focused on the shadowed eyes of her partner.

_~He looked at her, and the look in his eyes nearly broke her heart in a million pieces. The shadows in them held the horrors of a thousand veterans combined. "Tash.. I gotta hide these. I can't have them around here.."_

_He was really shaken, usually he didn't like them out of his sight. But, she had to go along with it, in the long run it would help him heal better. "Well that's ok, Clint.."_

_"Loki will make me use them.." He continued, his hands shaking at the mention._

_She frowned at that, she knew he still thought about it all, but didn't think it was this bad._

_She just hugged him tight against her, her hand reaching up to run through his hair._

_"Hawk, you're strong. You'll get over all this. It just takes time, ok? You hide them while I'm out, somewhere difficult to reach so you can't get them in your sleep, then I'll make some enchilada's for dinner and ice cream for dessert."_

_The movement of his head meant he nodded, though he didn't seem like he was ready to move._

_And that was fine by her._

_She was there right now to be his rock for a while.~_

His hands were shaking, his teeth digging into his bottom lip, so she figured he was struggling with the task she just gave him. The old Hawkeye would have three sets of targets out at this stage, but he was far from the old Hawkeye and she had to get used to that fact.

She went over behind him and placed a hand over his, the one gripping the bow, to keep his aim true.

"Relax Clint.." She whispered. He needed support right now, and she was there to be it. "Aim and shoot. It'll be fine."

He took a breath and nodded, letting the arrow fly. Her hand dropped his and she smiled at him, though his eyes were wide and terrified.

She frowned in worry when he dropped to the floor, the bow dropping from his hands. He still wasn't over it..

"Clint, it's ok." Natasha was down by him, her hands gripping his shoulders to steady him, his eyes were scanning all around the room. Another flashback. Definitely PTSD.. "It's ok, it was just a dummy. Nothing's happened."

As soon as she saw the first tear fall, she hugged her partner close, his hands gripping the back of her shirt tightly. All this time and Loki still had him broken..

He took her partner from her.

The shell of a man in her arms needed to be completely rebuilt.

Her best friend was gone.

Never mind what happened to New York, this was definitely something she'd never forgive the god for.

\----------

"He's fine now, yeah." She said down the phone to Fury, glancing at Clint every other second to make sure he was ok. "Yeah, definitely PTSD. May take a while to crack."

"I thought as much.." The director sighed down the phone. He was missing his two best agents for the foreseeable future, no way he'd be happy with this set back. "Just take baby steps, Romanoff. Looks like we can't rush this."

"I've been telling you that since the start." She sighed in annoyance, rubbing her forehead to warn a headache away. "I know him better than anyone, he can't be rushed with these things. He has two months left, he'll be perfect by the end."

"You better be right. I need him for the next leg of missions."

She narrowed her eyes at that, clutching the phone a little tighter. Her protective side was a difficult thing to get rid of. "Where are you sending him?"

"Classified." Of course it was.. Everything is when it comes him! "Just get him back on his pills, get him healthy, and get back to work."

"Wait, back on them?" She asked in shock, looking over to the archer on the couch with new found annoyance.

"Well he hasn't picked up his prescription in a couple of months now.."

"I'll get onto that. Report in 24." She ended with that line, putting the phone back in her pocket as she went over to the sofa.

"Barton." No answer, she frowned. Glancing at the bracelet, she noticed he turned the aids off. So they were very suddenly turned on, knowing that made a click sound that hurt him!

God bless Tony Stark for giving her a controller..

"When'd you stop taking the pills, Clint?" She asked as she sat on the coffee table opposite him, though his eyes stayed on his tea. "Fury said you haven't picked up your prescription in two months."

"Pleading the fifth here." He said with a slight grin, and that pissed her off quit alot! This was serious, and he was joking!?

"Don't pull that bullshit." She growled, kicking his shin so he'd jump and finally look at her. "We need you back shooting."

He narrowed his eyes at her. What was that look for..? She was just looking out for him!

"Look, it's my choice, ok?" He growled back, standing up to bring the cup to the sink. "If I don't want to take them, I don't have to."

"Then we'll admit you until you do." She said that so calmly, examining her nails as he cleaned up. They never did talk about something like that, they'd never do it, but she needed him better and threats seemed the only way to work.

She heard him sigh and looked to him as he shook his head, turning to look at her as he dried his hands on a tea towel. "What do you want from me? I let you live here, let you watch me all you like, I went along with the healing, even agreed to come back to SHIELD. What more is there?"

He was stone faced, his voice cold, so that's how he wanted to play. There was one other way to get to him. His soft side. So, she'd play!

She advanced slowly, standing right infront of him, toes touching toes.

"I want my partner back." She whispered, and his mouth fell open in surprise. She was going to be sweet and worried. That'll snap him out of his selfishness. She didn't want to be at the Hawkeye pity party anymore. "I want to go on missions again, like old times. I want you to beat these demons, because if you let them over run you, then I lose the most important person in my life.."

"Nat.." He whispered, too lost for words. She wasn't looking at him, she was instead watching as her fingers traced a button on his shirt.

"I'm fine, Loki's gone, you're not going to hurt anyone. But people will get hurt if the two of us aren't out kicking ass again." That time, she was looking in his eyes, her hand up and resting on his cheek. "Grab the darts, we'll go to the target room and take things slow. We have two months left, we can beat this."

He stood for another moment as he tried gather his thoughts.

While she was pulling the strings a little, those words were the truth.

She couldn't lose him to his own stubbornness, to his own mind. She needed to help him back on his feet so they could be a team again.

He nodded, reaching into the drawer behind him to grab the box of darts he had in there.

She smiled at him and took his free hand, leading him off to the room for an evening of training.

She'd get her Clint back.

Even if it killed her.

She found herself missing the jokes and the attempts at flirting. She really missed the newbies faces when they were creamed with an exploding dodge-ball. She missed the hard floors of the safe houses as they huddled for warmth. The sight of his smile as he flew jets to rendezvous points, the laughter as he pissed towers off by ignoring their commands. She missed it all.

She missed Hawkeye. She needed him back.

And by god she'd get him back.


	19. 19

The one good thing about having a freak out the other day? Simple, he got a full week R&R from his partner!

Though, she did challenge him to one dart game a day.. But that was fine! It usually ending in laughing and joking!

Right now, he was doing some laps around New York, trying his best to get his fitness back to some normal level. That, and, it cleared his head. And he needed that more than anything lately.

Natasha was currently out shopping, she never let him go with her. At first he thought it was because he was still pretty hurt. Now, he realised it was because no healthy food would be bought!

Maybe he should grow up... Nah! What fun would that be!?

He thought she needed a break though. The past few months she'd been doing nothing but looking after him, feeding him, training with him. He paused in his run, hands on his hips as he caught his breath.

He had to do something nice for her. Something to say thanks.

He grinned a little and pressed pause on his bracelet, turning the music off and returning his aids to normal hearing.

He spotted a jeweller across the street. Girls loved jewellery! And Natasha would so love this kind!

\----------

He got his errands done, finished up his run, got home and showered all before Romanoff returned. He wasn't worried, she did take her time with these things. She needed some space, and most times he just thought it was her excuse to check in with Fury without him asking a billion and seventeen questions.

Ok, he always asks like three, but still!

He was happily lying on the sofa now, air conditioning on since it was a pretty warm day around New York.

For the first time in a long time, he was actually really happy. He was healed, he was getting over everything, he was a month and a half away from getting back out there, and did he mention it was his birthday?

That had him really happy! This was his first birthday off in who knows how long.

Last year he spent it chained up in a bunker south of Kiev. The few years before? Well, that was the mission in Tokyo that nearly broke his back. A few years before that was SHIELD training, so that wasn't a walk in the park! The only calm one he really had since he was a kid was when he was on Captain guarding duty.

He should be worried, having such a bad record with birthday's, but this one felt lucky for him!

"I'm driving down the road, I get the feeling I should have been home yesterday~" He sang along quietly, of course the mp3 was filled with country songs, what else would the country boy have!? "Country roads~"

He frowned in confusion when the song suddenly stopped, lifting his arm from his forehead to see if something was malfunctioning. He leapt about ten feet in the air when the grinning face of Natasha was what he saw.

"God damn it, Tash!" He yelled, standing now with his hand over his thumping heart. "Don't sneak up on me like that!"

"Kinda easy when you have your hearing off." She laughed, trying to calm down from the fit of laughter him jumping so quickly gave her.

He just pouted and followed her to the kitchen, helping to unpack the grocery bags. She hit his hand then.

"Ah nah! You go relax, birthday boy." She grinned, pushing him back towards the sitting room.

"Ah come on! The one time I wanna help and you're pushing me away?" He laughed, and she stopped pushing.

"You only offered because you knew I'd say no, huh?" her spy voice was on, and he just smirked and winked at her. She shook her head in amusement and went back to the kitchen. "You just keep singing there, farm boy."

He grumbled at her tease, going back to lie once more on the sofa, his arms falling over his eyes. "So how's Fury."

Silence for a moment before he could hear her chuckle under her breath, as if she could fool him. "He's Fury."

...May not seem like an answer, but it described how he was perfectly!

"I picked up a suit for you." She said after a few minutes, the sound of grocery bags still present. He shifted a little to look at her over the arm of the sofa, though his head was hanging upside down so he couldn't really see her properly.

"Like, a new SHIELD one? I thought I was getting that next week." He pouted in curiosity, his old one was destroyed so they put in for a new one.

Her smirk scared him, what was she playing at..?

"Steve and Tony are taking you out tonight.." She nearly sang the words to him, and his eyes grew wide.

No..

"I am NOT wearing a monkey suit!" He complained, hands covering his eyes. "No no no no no! Not happening!"

"Awh come on!" She laughed, the shifting of weight on the sofa letting him know she sat at the end. "It's just for a few hours! They're really looking forward to it!"

"And what do I get out of it..?" He mumbled, peaking through his fingers at her.

Damn.. She looked good in that vest.. Thank god for warm weather!

"Tony paying for drinks all night, possible Iron Man/Captain America fight." She shrugged, patting his leg then with a grin. "And if you play really nice, you can have a birthday kiss, ok?"

He grinned at that, nodding as he sat up on his elbows. "Sounds good!"

"Great! I'll call Banner and let him know to come over for that kiss!" She smirked, patting his cheek before getting up once more to go start dinner.

He growled and fell back down on the sofa, putting on his music once more.

She was a damn tease..

\----------

"I can't figure this damn thing out!" He yelled from his room, the tie being thrown out the door before he pouted and sat on the edge of his bed.

She was in within a second, tie in her hand and a smirk on her face. "Never do one before?"

He shook his head, arms folded as he pouted. If it were up to him, he wouldn't even be in this damn thing!

But she basically threatened him into the navy suit. He was going to burn it after tonight! White shirt and all!

"Come here you baby." She laughed, and he did as told. He watched with fascination as she placed the tie around his neck, taking her time in doing it up for him. "You look pretty sharp.."

He smiled shyly at her words, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. "Reckon I'll score tonight?"

"Hmmm maybe," She chuckled, smoothing out the tie and fixing his collar when done. "Just not off the street, and don't bring them back here please."

"No promises." He smirked, kissing her cheek as a thank you before going to the mirror to fix his hair. "Welcome to join us if I do, though."

"Keep dreaming, bird brain." she laughed, leaving the room then. He smiled to himself, glad he could spend his birthday with someone nice for a change.

It wasn't long before he could hear Tony in the living room, so he went out. Of course, Tony was in a suit, though Steve was just in his usual t-shirt and jeans. Clint glared at Natasha when he noticed that.

"How come he got away with it!?"

"Tell ya what, you find one to fit those muscles, then we'll talk." She smirked, and he had to pout. Dammit she was right, Rogers would be pretty uncomfortable in one.

"Here. These should fit you." He caught the shoes Tony threw at him, the billionaire already holding a glass of whiskey. Looks like they started early!

"Well, Tash really did think of everything." He chuckled, sitting on the arm of the sofa to pull on the shoes before smiling at his partner. "Y'sure you don't wanna come?"

"You need a guys night out." She smiled, fixing his collar once more when he stood before walking the three men to the door. She smiled and patted his cheek. "Come back in one piece please."

"I always do!" He grinned, winking at her before running off after Tony and Steve.

He jumped on the captains back and the man just laughed as he carried Clint down the stairs.

Maybe it wouldn't be too bad a night after all!

\----------

"Y'see those three over there?" Tony slurred-shouted in Clint's ear, his arm around the archers shoulder to either keep him steady or keep him close. Or possibly both.

Clint wobbled a little and looked over at the three ladies dancing on the floor, all in very little clothing, all more than likely models. He grinned a little and nodded, a little more than he should have but the alcohol made head control difficult!

Tony had taken the three of them to one of the more private clubs in New York. Being a billionaire made stuff like that easy!

About three minutes in, the bar tender had already supplied them with ten shots and two pints. It was now three hours in and Clint was well and truly feeling the effects!

"Pick one and I'll get her for you!" Tony slurred once more, a grin plastered on his face as his patted Clint a little too hard on the back.

Under normal circumstances, he would jump on the opportunity. But something deeper was holding him back.

He just looked at Tony and shook his head. "I wouldn't stand a chance! Try Cap!"

"Like he'd go for anything like that!" Tony laughed, and the two of them glanced to Steve who was currently busy taking photos with, what Clint could only describe as, over excited fan girls. "I don't think he's seen any since the 40's, if even then!"

"Y'reckon he hasn't at all?" He asked curiously, the music making it a little difficult to hear his friend now. He downed the last of his drink and waved at the barman for another. The thought of Steve not actually having anyone made him feel sorry for the guy!

"Someone who wears a star spangled outfit so freely? He definitely hasn't." Stark smirked, being dragged off to dance by some girls then.

Hawkeye laughed a little and shook his head, taking a gulp of his fresh beer before glancing around.

He was still the unknown Avenger. Most times, it bothered him. Tonight, as he watched Steve and Tony battle against girls for a bit of space, he really loved being alone.

Guy time was fun, but then he was going home alone once more tonight!

When he was still working with SHIELD, that would be fine. He'd be up at five am anyway to train so it didn't bother him, the empty apartment didn't bother him.

But now, she had brought a bit more life to the place, gave him company and someone to help him at night. But she was leaving in two days. She was going off on a mission and leaving the apartment. He didn't know if he'd be able to handle that ghost lingering around.

It's true, alcohol really does give you depressing thoughts.

Wonder if that's why dad always had it..

NO! NOPE NOPE! NOT TONIGHT, NONE OF THOSE THOUGHTS TONIGHT!

He couldn't do that on his birthday, no way in hell, so he turned to find Cap.

"Cap!" He called out, trying to free his team mate. Rogers looked to him and smiled, excusing himself from the girls to go over to Clint. "Some shots with me! First one under the table, loses!"

"Clint, I don't get dru-"

"Oh just do it! It's my birthday!"

Steve raised an eyebrow and laughed, complying by ordering a round of shots for them. A line of ten each.

Clint could handle his drink better than the old timer!

Oh, if only he read the SHIELD files when told to..

Maybe then, he wouldn't have challenged the man who physically can't get drunk.

Maybe then, 23 and a half shots later, he wouldn't have been the one on the bar dancing..

\----------

"...and, we were *hic* we were surrounded, Cap!" The world was fuzzy, but he was happy!

His arm was slung around Captain's shoulders, looking back on it he now realised it was because his drunk ass couldn't stand without help.

"Is that so?" Steve asked through a chuckle, trying to help his team mate up the stairs to his apartment. Though the archer really did make it difficult!

"Yeah!" He yelled with wide eyes, stopping in the hall to use his hands to show the situation. "So Tash banked right, drawing them out towards her... She took two down no problem, but there were three on her side... And.. And.. Lots on mine! And I grabbed my sonic arrow and BAM! My hearing just went!"

"Well that's what you get for using such a stupid arrow." Steve whispered, taking Clint's arm again to help him along.

"It was to disable their coms! They.. They were.. Their commands!"

"I know, I know. They were being told what to do from above."

"Exactly!" Another hiccup, and he stopped, hand on his stomach.

"You ok, soldier?"

"I'm not a soldier." He grumbled, fine though since the wave of nausea left him.

"Of course, sorry." Steve laughed once more, he really did find this amusing!

"The power of love, is a curious thing~!" and now he was singing! His neighbours so totally loved him! "Make one man weep, make another man sing~!"

"I think we broke your partner."

"More than a feeling~! That's the power of love~!" He cheered when he saw Widow at the apartment door, in her dressing gown and slippers just smirking at him.

"Seems like you did." She held a hand out and he gladly took it, standing to attention then to salute Steve.

"You have completed your mission, Captain Rogers!" He said in a deep, commanding voice, Steve just smirking at him. "You may now go off to find that wench who slapped me! Bring her to my quarters!"

"Was someone a handful with the ladies?" Natasha laughed, his arm now slung around her shoulders. Why were they babying him!? He so totally wasn't drunk!

"Not exactly.." Steve laughed, Clint grinning when he realised they share the same trait of rubbing their necks in awkward situations. "It was a biker guy with long hair. He'll have a bruise tomorrow. It was a full force punch."

"Oh please! That was a woman!" Clint defended with a pout, he swears it! Just a rather hairy woman who couldn't admit she loved him!

"I'll get some ice on that. Come on in." He looked to Natasha as she led him into the apartment, her face spinning a little in his mind.

"Ms. Romanoff.. I do believe you are seducing me." He grinned, noticing she was leading him to his bedroom.

"Oh lord so much." She agreed! She so was! The sarcasm dripping from her voice just went right over his head..

"Clothes off, Barton." She smiled when they were in the room, sitting him on the bed before she went to his dresser.

"Yes ma'am!" Though he could barely undo the first button. She was infront of him in an instant, a soft smile on her face as she helped him.

"Looks like you had a good night." She said softly, her eyes on her hands though as she helped him.

He nodded, watching her closely. He couldn't help his heart beating faster. It was something he's been trying to control for months now, but at that instant, even with his mind compromised by drink, he realised; he could never fall out of love with Natasha Romanoff.

He was out of his clothes and into pyjamas in a time that was a little longer than expected, but she was hanging his suit up anyway after tucking him into bed.

"I'll bring you in some painkillers and water. You'll be dying tomorrow." He could hear the smile in her voice, and it made him grin.

"Thank you, Tash.." He whispered, nuzzling the pillow beneath his head a little. He was so damn comfy! Even if the room was currently spinning, it didn't matter!

He heard a glass clink beside him not a moment later, he didn't even realise she had gone out for it. He took the painkillers from her and gulped them down with a nod of thanks. She smiled and tucked him in once more.

"Nat.." He whispered, catching her wrist to stop her from leaving.

"What's wrong?" She whispered back with a worried frown.

Though nothing was wrong. Everything was perfectly fine for the first time in the longest time.

Without another word, he carefully pulled her down and captured her lips in a soft, gentle kiss.

He had to do it at least once.

He had to feel what it was like at least once.

And what better chance was there than now?

What shocked him most though was that she responded, albeit after a moment of nothing that had him worried he made a mistake.

Her hand was cupping his cheek by the time they finally broke apart, and she gave the tip of his nose one little kiss before pushing him back to lie down. He couldn't tell if she was happy or not, the dim light in the room and the drink on his mind made everything one big blur.

"Goodnight Clint.. Happy birthday.." She whispered. Definitely happy, he'd always know when he heard a smile in her voice.

"Love you, Tash.." He whispered as his eyes closed, the land of sleep quickly approaching.

Before he conked out, the faint words "Love you too, little Hawk." rang through his mind.


	20. 20

"He's been fine, actually." She replied to her bosses question, slight shock in her voice. "Been back to his normal self, been running alot. Getting stronger."

"But has he been shooting?" He asked curiously, his eye not being taken off the trainee's sparring on the floor below the balcony they were currently on.

"I don't know." She sighed, turning to lean against the railing with her arms folded. "The bow has shifted positions a bit, but I don't know if he's going for it then cowarding out or if he's actually taking it and training."

"We need him shooting." He sighed, and she nodded.

"I know, Fury. But he's fragile. Just give me more time, ok?"

"You don't have that." She looked to him in confusion, "Your new mission starts in two days time."

She sighed and nodded, pulling a dummy grenade from her belt and throwing it to the training floor, watching the newbies scramble to either cover it or run from it.

"Cap?" She asked softly, noting Fury nod from the corner of her eyes.

"Cap. Barton will be sent out too."

She looked to him in shock at that, shaking her head.

"He's not ready Fury. He's sloppy, still hurt, mentally and physically. He'll be killed!"

"He's off suspension soon. He's getting back in the field weather you like it or not." Fury said in his 'that's final so shut up about it!' voice.

"I don't like it. And it's not happening." She turned and left the arena, not giving the director a chance to reply.

She wasn't going to let Fury send the best agent in SHIELD to his death.

He'd be given a new handler, and she knew he'd be fine given time. But not now.

Something about leaving him while he was still hurt just didn't sit right with her.

She was an agent though. Missions came first.

\----------

She sighed in relief when she finally made it to the apartment door, plenty of paper shopping bags being held in her arms. The apartment desperately needed supplies! Clint was going on a little binge of everything lately, all healthy stuff thank god, but she found herself shopping nearly every day.

"What do you want for dinner, Clint?" She called when she entered the apartment, placing the bags on the kitchen counter.

She frowned a little when there was no reply. He'd usually come out to see what she got.

She glanced at the living room and noticed he was there, asleep possibly.

"I'm driving down the road, I get the feeling I should have been home yesterday~" Clint Barton, world famous marksman, credited with multiple murders, singing country songs..? She smirked a little and went over to him slowly, trying not to let him know she was there just yet. "Country roads~"

He was actually a damn good singer.. It was a shame to stop him, but she had to give him a bit of a scare! So she used her bracelet to turn the music off, setting the aids to his normal hearing volume.

The look of confusion on his face as he lifted his arm to look at his own bracelet was priceless!

Him jumping about ten feet in the air with shock was even more so!

"God damn it, Tash!" He yelled, standing now with his hand over his heart. "Don't sneak up on me like that!"

"Kinda easy when you have your hearing off." She laughed, trying to calm down from the fit of laughter him jumping so quickly gave her. She was way too easily amused when it came to him!

When calm enough, she walked back to the kitchen, not expecting to see him over, helping to unpack the grocery bags. She hit his hand away.

"Ah nah! You go relax, birthday boy." She grinned, pushing him back towards the sitting room.

"Ah come on! The one time I wanna help and you're pushing me away?" He laughed, and she stopped pushing.

He never helps.. But on his birthday he does..?

That sneaky fucker..

"You only offered because you knew I'd say no, huh?" her spy voice was on, and he smirked and winked at her. She shook her head in amusement and went back to the kitchen. "You just keep singing there, farm boy."

She heard his grumble and smiled a little at it. She should know not to bring up the farm, but it was too easy to rile him up over it!

"So how's Fury."

She fell silent for a moment, not thinking he knew that she went to Fury once a week. She chuckled under her breath then, it was stupid to think that. He was her mission right now, and he knew they checked in once a week on missions. "He's Fury."

...May not seem like an answer, but it described how he was perfectly!

"I picked up a suit for you." She said after a few minutes, packing away the last few things from the bags. She glanced over to see him looking over the sofa at her, confusion on his face.

He wasn't going to like where this was going..

"Like, a new SHIELD one? I thought I was getting that next week." He pouted in curiosity, which was true. They went to get him fitted for one the other day since his old one was completely destroyed.

She couldn't help but smirk at him. He was going to throw a fit and she was going to enjoy it so much when he did!

"Steve and Tony are taking you out tonight.." She nearly sang the words to him, and his eyes grew wide.

There it is!

"I am NOT wearing a monkey suit!" He complained, hands covering his eyes. "No no no no no! Not happening!"

"Awh come on!" She laughed, going over to sit on the end of the sofa. "It's just for a few hours! They're really looking forward to it!"

"And what do I get out of it..?" He mumbled, peaking through his fingers at her.

He should wear those tight t-shirts more often.. Those muscles were something!

"Tony paying for drinks all night, possible Iron Man/Captain America fight." She shrugged, patting his leg then with a grin. "And if you play really nice, you can have a birthday kiss, ok?"

He grinned at that, nodding as he sat up on his elbows. "Sounds good!"

"Great! I'll call Banner and let him know to come over for that kiss!" She smirked, patting his cheek before getting up once more to go start dinner.

She smirked a little more when she heard him growl, the bracelet lighting up with a Brad Paisley song, so he was gone to his little world again.

Who knows, maybe he'll get one if he plays nice..

\----------

"I can't figure this damn thing out!" She raised an eyebrow when she heard that, seeing a tie being flung from his room then. What was that about? AH! He never wore suits!

She was in within a second, tie in her hand and a smirk on her face. "Never do one before?"

He shook his head, arms folded as he pouted. She grinned a little, he looked so damn uncomfortable but the navy suited him really well!

Even though she did have to threaten him into it. Stark was actually doing something nice for once, so it had to be done!

"Come here you baby." She laughed, and he did as told. She held a small smile on her face as she did up the tie, taking her time so it looked perfect. "You look pretty sharp.."

He smiled shyly at her words, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. "Reckon I'll score tonight?"

"Hmmm maybe," She chuckled, smoothing out the tie and fixing his collar when done. "Just not off the street, and don't bring them back here please."

"No promises." He smirked, kissing her cheek as a thank you before going to the mirror to fix his hair. "Welcome to join us if I do, though."

"Keep dreaming, bird brain." she laughed, leaving the room then. He needed some male bonding time, and she needed a night to herself! Otherwise, both of them would end up killing eachother.

It wasn't long before there was a knock on the door, so she went to open it for Steve and Tony. Of course Tony already had a drink in his hands!

"So where's this birthday boy!? I have strippers in the limo for him!" Tony grinned, stepping in and glancing around, grinning at how his handy work turned out.

"That better be a joke." She sighed, oddly finding a bit of jealousy coiling in her gut.

"Think I'd get away with that with good ol' Captain America here!?" Stark pouted, and Natasha had to grin at Steve.

Rogers just smiled and nodded in agreement. "He tried. Trust me. I owe him one go of my shield now."

"How come he got away with it!?"

Natasha looked to Clint in confusion before she copped he was looking at Steve. She grinned a little, the suit thing was really annoying him!

"Tell ya what, you find one to fit those muscles, then we'll talk." She smirked, and he pouted. Cap would be pretty uncomfortable in one.

"Here. These should fit you." She watched as Tony threw some shoes at him. Good thing he remembered them! It looks like they started early so she was convinced Clint would go without the dress shoes!

"Well, Tash really did think of everything." He chuckled, sitting on the arm of the sofa to pull on the shoes before smiling at his partner. "Y'sure you don't wanna come?"

"You need a guys night out." She smiled, fixing his collar once more when he stood before walking the three men to the door. She smiled and patted his cheek. "Come back in one piece please."

"I always do!" He grinned, winking at her before running off after Tony and Steve.

He jumped on the captains back and the man just laughed as he carried Clint down the stairs.

She smiled to herself as she watched that. She had some nights out, even in the Red Room, they were given some time together. But Clint? She had to wonder if through it all he ever had a male bonding night like this.

Cards, yeah, he had Tony and Steve over alot for that. But this was good for him!

She closed the door when they were out of sight and sighed to herself. He looked well tonight, she should get him in suits more often!

Now for a night of packing for her next mission.

Her current one was doing just fine on his own..

\----------

The diary fell before she realised what it was. The leather book had fallen down from the top of the wardrobe when she pulled down a duffel bag.

The neat writing of her partner was the only way she realised it was something personal.

Of course, though, personal meant nothing to her!

So she immediately forgot about packing, got changed into her pyjamas and a dressing gown, poured herself some red wine, and sat curled up on the sofa to read.

She shouldn't be intruding in his privacy like this, but it was a rare chance to get inside her partners mind, she couldn't pass it up!

The first page wasn't his usual handwriting. It seemed sloppier, almost bad enough to be illegible.

But she made it out eventually.

'We got out. I don't know how, but we did! Now there's a circus and these amazing guys and I'm warm and fed and Barney did all of this for me! I'm learning how to use a bow tomorrow, I can't wait for that!'

Well this book is really old! All the way back to his circus days?

Her eyes were a little wide at that. Why did he keep it so long?

She kept reading and there was everything, things she didn't even know about him too!

Eventually, sometime after the beating at the circus, each page started with the same two words 'Dear Barney,'.

Did he really miss his brother that much..?

There were so many things in this, like how bad he felt helping her steal from his hero, how scared he was his first few days at SHIELD, the rambles after she shot him and left him for dead, all the dark thoughts and horrible feelings.

This was how he stayed so positive around everyone. This was his way of getting everything out and not blowing up at people. He spoke to his older brother, the one person who was there for him through that horrible time he called a childhood.

As each page was turned, from the time she shot him, it got progressively darker, until the time he lost his hearing. He started making jokes after that.

What changed then..?

She didn't have to wonder for long, the one sentence stood out and made her grin a little.

'She smiled at me, not in the condensing way she does when she slams me on the mat, but in a nice way, she has a nice side, Barney!"

All those dark thoughts were because she was a bitch. She was so glad she changed her ways, even if it was just so he'd feel better.

She smirked a little at one page, settling in a little to read this story!

'Dear Barney,  
WAIT till I tell you about Budapest!'

She glanced to the door with an eyebrow raised when she heard some noise. Seems like they're finally back!

She hurried to his room and replaced the journal, that little memory would have to wait till another day!

When she went to the door, she smirked at what she saw. Looks like someone had a good night..

Steve was helping her partner down the hall, Clint looking well and truly legless as he stumbled and hiccuped his way along.

"The power of love, is a curious thing~!" Oh lord.. He was singing again.. The poor neighbours.. "Make one man weep, make another man sing~!"

"I think we broke your partner." Steve said with an amused grin when he spotted her, and she had to nod.

"More than a feeling~! That's the power of love~!" He cheered when he saw Widow at the apartment door, she sent him a smirk.

"Seems like you did." She held a hand out and he gladly took it, standing to attention then to salute Steve.

"You have completed your mission, Captain Rogers!" He said in a deep, commanding voice, Steve just smirking at him, and she was so very tempted to face-palm. "You may now go off to find that wench who slapped me! Bring her to my quarters!"

"Was someone a handful with the ladies?" Natasha laughed, his arm now slung around her shoulders. Poor guy would be sore in the morning!

"Not exactly.." Steve laughed, rubbing the back of his neck as he watched Clint. "It was a biker guy with long hair. He'll have a bruise tomorrow. It was a full force punch."

"Oh please! That was a woman!" Clint defended with a pout, and Natasha rolled her eyes. That happened once before aswell.. How could he not tell these things apart!?

"I'll get some ice on that. Come on in." Barton looked at her when she invited Steve in, and his eyes told her he was probably about to pass out!

"Ms. Romanoff.. I do believe you are seducing me." He grinned, she just managed to catch the slurred words as she led him to his bedroom.

"Oh lord so much." Surely even this drunk, the sarcasm dripping from each word would be noticed!

"Clothes off, Barton." She smiled when they were in the room, sitting him on the bed before she went to his dresser.

"Yes ma'am!" When she looked back at him, she laughed a little, he was struggling with the first button. She was infront of him in an instant, a soft smile on her face as she helped him, pyjamas sitting next to him.

"Looks like you had a good night." She said softly, her eyes on her hands though as she helped him.

She noticed a nod, which was as good as anything considering how drunk he actually was. He was warm, and his pulse was pretty quick, hopefully just a side effect and no illness.

He was out of his clothes and into pyjamas in a time that was a little longer than expected, but she was hanging his suit up anyway after tucking him into bed.

"I'll bring you in some painkillers and water. You'll be dying tomorrow." She was smiling to herself as she finished hanging the suit, no tie in sight though, probably thrown out the second he got a chance.

"Thank you, Tash.." She heard him whisper as she left, going to get the pills and some water.

She made sure Steve was alright while she was gone, she found him just relaxing in the living room with a magazine.

When she got back, Barton was pretty out of it on the bed, nearly asleep, but he needed to take these. He jumped a little when he noticed her but swallowed the pills with some water anyways.

He just had to sleep it off! Give her an excuse to have a lie in tomorrow too.

"Nat.." He whispered, catching her wrist to stop her from leaving when she turned.

"What's wrong?" She whispered back with a worried frown, the sound of his voice making her think he was actually hurt.

Without another word, he carefully pulled her down and captured her lips in a soft, gentle kiss.

Wide wasn't even the proper word to describe her eyes.

What the hell was he doing!?

Why was this happening!?

Why was she not beating him senseless for this!?

 

Why was she enjoying this..?

Why did this actually feel so right...?

Her heart.. Why was it beating this fast..?

She surprised herself by responding to the kiss, her eyes slipping closed as she let her mind shut off and let herself enjoy the moment.

This was the most comfortable, the most right, she's ever felt in her life.. But this wasn't right, was it?

Her hand was cupping his cheek by the time they finally broke apart, and she gave the tip of his nose one little kiss before pushing him back to lie down.

She couldn't stop the little grin that spread across her face.

"Goodnight Clint.. Happy birthday.." She whispered, tucking him in once more before turning to leave the room.

"Love you, Tash.." He whispered when she reached the door.

That made her pause and her heart beat that much faster.

For once, those three words rang true in her mind. He said them so many times, and usually they'd just be shrugged off, but this time.. Those three words sunk into her heart and managed to drag up the feelings that have been hiding for years.

As she turned off his light, the words "Love you too, little Hawk." finally escaped her lips.


	21. 21

There was still a world.

Still birds chirping, still traffic blaring in the streets below. Still the annoying screams of the woman next door as she tried discipline her cats. Still bright afternoon light shining through his lids. Afternoon, he knew, because that's the only time his room got to see the sun.

If this was, in fact, his room. He pouted a little, not ready to open his eyes. But the pillows smelled like him, and as he wriggled around he found that one spring that always poked his knee.

Good. His room then. He made it home safe!

So, the world was still there, but his head really wished it wasn't!

He groaned and reached into both ears, pulling out his aids and rolling on his side. That took care of the sounds, and the only way to take care of the sun? Well, he could get the newbies to board up his window, but that would take too long and too much effort, so he just hid under the covers for now.

He was NEVER drinking with Stark again!

Though, since he had no idea where the billionaire wound up last night, he had a feeling he was in worse shape than Clint right now.

He gave a yawn, frowning at how much his mouth felt like sandpaper.

It was gonna be a rough training session.

...

Shit...

Training..

She was going to kill him..

Not that he moved though, he just stayed curled up as he listened to the thump thump of his head. The only sound he could hear right now.

How could he hear that and nothing else..? Was he even hearing it or just feeling it and imagining the sound..? He got deep when hungover!

He didn't know how long he was lying there, but he did drift back to sleep before the slow methodical tap on his arm made him jump.

Morse code. Nothing else was THAT precise time wise.

He smiled to himself. Natasha always found ways to communicate with him.

"Alive?" He eventually made out of the taps, though there were others so he guessed it was actually the end of a sentence.

"Wish I wasn't." He responded with a chuckle, glad he took his aids out cause even the movement of his chuckling frame killed his head a little more!

"Up then. Pain and break on table." Pain and break..? That can't be right! One of them needed to do the Morse course again... And he really guessed it was him!

He rolled onto his back and looked up at her, his breath catching a little.

Good lord what an amazing sight to wake up to!

Hair pulled back, dressing gown on, no make up, just Natasha with a caring smile.

Damn her for turning him to mush!

"Sign please." He whispered with a smile, her rolling eyes giving him a grin. If she was in this good a mood, it must be late afternoon. She was never happy in the mornings!

"Pain killers and breakfast on the table." Her amused smile made him realise she wasn't mad or anything. Always difficult to tell that through Morse code, it's why he never used it when deaf. That and more people knew sign language anyways. She grabbed his aids and took the liberty of putting them back in for him.

"Thanks Tash." He smiled when they were back in place, and she simply responded by ruffling his hair and getting off the bed.

"I'll give you five to wake up properly." She said as she left, softly closing the door behind her.

He grinned to himself and nuzzled the pillow.

Today was going to be a good day!

\----------

"How do you make this better than any American woman!?" Clint cheered with a grin before he shoved yet another pancake in his mouth, the amused laugh of his partner making him grin.

"They're not just an American thing, Clint."

He gave a sound of understanding and gulped down some coffee, feeling a hell of alot better since that was his third cup and the pain killers were finally taking effect. Another pancake was soon in his mouth.

When he left the room, he genuinely looked like death warmed up. It was a little after 2pm, so not as late as he thought, but still late by his standards.

What greeted him on the table was fruit, a fry up, a giant pot of coffee, pancakes, and of course a nice medley of all his pills!

20 minutes later, three apples, the fry, and two stacks of pancakes, he was happier than ever!

"Went hard last night, huh?" Natasha asked as Clint finally settled back in his chair, a happy sigh escaping his lips.

"Go hard or go home.. The amount of times Stark said that was in the millions."

"I don't think anyone's heard from him today." She chuckled, standing to go wash up his breakfast dishes.

He smiled as he watched her, his hands resting behind his head.  
"Doesn't surprise me. Seems like we went a little mad." He smiled, his fingers messing with strands of his hair. He'd have to have a shower soon, something was sticky back there and it smelled like some sort of cocktail. "Don't remember past challenging Cap."

"You don't?" He heard his partner ask, and her tone shocked him. Surprised and.. And.. Well, something he actually couldn't place, something he's never heard from her before.

"Well, no." He laughed, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. "I must've forgot that guy can't get drunk. I bet my ass that he drank me under the table five times over."

"You were in quite the state." She whispered through a slight laugh, at least she seemed happy, he really couldn't tell since she was facing the sink and not him. "Your usual flirty self."

He laughed at that, his face actually going a little red. He couldn't even count the times he got a little too.. 'Friendly' with her when drunk.

"Is that why my cheek hurts?" He asked through a chuckle, rubbing the spot in question. "Did you clock me again?"

"Not this time, big boy." She had turned to grin at him, drying her hands on a tea towel.

He raised an eyebrow. That grin was never good.

"Girl in the bar?" He asked cautiously, and her grin just got bigger.

"Kind of.. Biker guy in the bar."

He groaned and let his head fall onto the table, gently banging it over and over. "How do I always manage that!?"

Her laugh and hand gently rubbing his back made him relax, smile even. "We'll get you some flashcards so you can tell the difference next time."

He growled a little at her teasing.

"Smart ass.."

\----------

The breakfast, the coffee, and now the shower had him feeling hangover free and actually pretty damn good!

It was evening time now, though he wasn't going to have dinner for a while. Not only did he just eat his own weight in food, but the hangover was kind of threatening to throw the food back up.

As he stood in his room, towel drying his hair, he couldn't help but glance at the closet. On the top shelf there was the case he had tried so many times to take down again.

Sighing, he went over and took the handle once more.

He could do this, he had to do this. Natasha was leaving for who knows how long tomorrow so he had to be ready to be an agent again.

He placed the case on his bed and opened it, carefully lifting the bow from it. He smiled, he actually missed the damn thing!

From his bottom drawer, he pulled out a quiver of normal arrows, thinking he shouldn't really use the explosive ones in his apartment.

The room Tony set up for him was definitely one of his favourite features in the place.

Bows and arrows lined the walls, though he never used them, preferring to use his own. A workstation on the entrance side of the room meant he could work to his hearts content on perfecting both bows and arrows. There was a bar incase he got thirsty, a fridge, and a sofa. And, of course, at the end of the room, a fully mechanised training ground, the little computer screen by the door allowing him to select whatever difficulty of training he wanted.

He hadn't used it much, but this was the one room in the apartment he felt most at home.

Medium today, not too easy and not too hard, he had to ease back into it.

He watched for a moment as computerised targets ran around, some hiding behind artificial walls, others ontop of some that were made to simulate buildings. Next he'd probably find Stark installing JARVIS in the place..

He stepped up to the mark and necked an arrow, expertly pulling it back like he'd done a million times before.

Breathe. Focus. Breathe. Focus. Breathe...

And release.

He sent the arrow flying to hit a target as it began to run, and he couldn't help but grin when the time he'd usually have a flashback passed.

He was getting so much better.

With new found confidence, he began to fall into a rhythm. Knocking out target after target, all while standing in the one spot. Sure, he could mix it up and move around, but why over exert himself when all he was doing was getting his aim back?

One target at a time turned to two, turned to three. One arrow being fired turned to two, stepped up to four, stepped up to successive burst fire rounds.

He grinned when the last target fell, his score and time appearing on a monitor on the wall.

Too easy.

Hawkeye was back.

He jumped when he heard an applaud, necking another arrow and turning to aim.

It was Natasha, he knew that, but it still spooked him that he hadn't even noticed her.

"Easy tiger." She chuckled, advancing as he lowered the bow. "Pretty impressive."

"Kinda what I do.." He whispered, finding himself a little out of breath from his exercise. He had pushed it a little.

"Mmmmhm." She hummed, smiling as she took the arrow from his hand. He watched with a raised eyebrow as she examined it closely.

"Something I can help you with?"

"Not really. Just heard you in here and wanted to watch." She smiled, twirling the arrow in her hands.

He smiled and nodded, thinking for a moment then.

She showed him to shoot through three inch steel without breaking a sweat. Showed him how to take down someone twice his size without breaking a nail. She taught him how to hold up under interrogation, how to hold back demons, how to get the job done and leave it where the job was done. How to love..

But he never even thought about teaching her the one thing he could.

"Wanna try?"

"Try what?" She asked with an eyebrow raised, her mouth forming an 'o' shape when he held the bow out to her.

"It's easy, I promise."  
He grinned at the shy smile she shot him, she took the bow regardless and stepped up to the mark. He went over to the computer and set it to the easiest mode, just standard targeted dummy boards appearing from the ceiling.

"Don't think you've ever let me touch your bow." She said with an amused smile, and he just shrugged.

He went up behind her and turned her to the position he always stood in.

"Difficult to draw back at first." He started, lifting her arm up and positioning her hand so the bow was upright.

"How the hell do you carry this around..?" She whispered, his grin widening at the shock in her voice.

"Used to it." He chuckled, one of his hands now over the one of hers that was holding the bow. Carefully, he reached down and took her right hand, the one still holding the arrow, and helped her neck it.

"Your body will naturally twist, just let it.." He whispered in her ear, helping her to pull back the arrow. Just as he said, both of them turned the same way, the correct shooting position.

"Fingertips should be by your lips,wrist in line with your elbow, better aim then.." He whispered as he watched her, shifting their arms a little so they were the way he described. "Then, pop.."

The arrow went flying, and she made a content sound as it dug itself into the dummy.

He grinned a little and drew another arrow from the quiver on his back, repeating the process three, four, five more times. Each time, it would find a different target on the body.

On the last one, he just handed her an arrow, staying close behind her but not guiding her this time. The arrow went right through the dummy's heart.

"Not bad.." He whispered, hands falling to hold onto her hips.

She looked over her shoulder at him, head tilting up a bit since he was slightly taller. She was smiling at him.

"Not a bad teacher." She whispered, a smirk spreading across his lips as he started to lean down.  
"Oh, I could teach you a thing or two.." He whispered through his smirk, giving her one of her owns.

"Pretty sure you could.."

He had to stop himself, their lips just about to touch. He couldn't do this.

Slowly, he pulled away, rubbing the back of his neck with a grin, leaving his quiver by her feet. "Just leave it on the bench when you're done, alright?"

He left before she could answer, giving a sigh and rubbing his face with his hands once out the door.

"Dammit Tash.." He growled, moving so he could go sit on the balcony a while.

Maybe he'd be a little more sane when she was gone!

Hopefully he'd be a little more sane when she was gone..

He sat on the plastic chair on the balcony once out. He must have been training longer than he realised because the sun was now setting below the New York skyline. When these apartments first opened, he deliberately chose one with the best view. He sees better from a distance, no way he wouldn't have the best distance view in his home.

8:42. That's the time the sun starts to set around this time of year. Give or take 30 seconds.

SHIELD training at it's finest!

He sighed softly and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath then to relax.

As if on cue though, a pair of arms snuck their way around his shoulders, not giving him a moment to rest.

"What's up Clint? My face scare you?" She whispered, her chin resting gently on his shoulder.

"Oh it gives me nightmares each night." He chuckled quietly, his hand coming up to rest on her arms, his eyes glued on the sunset.

"Well believe it." She laughed, the sound so close to his ears better than any song he ever heard. "But I do believe you were about to start something in there.."

He paused at that, his brows furrowed in confusion. Did she actually want something to happen? Because he thought she made it pretty clear she didn't.

"Well.." He started, though he couldn't find the words.

She sighed gently and moved around to sit on his lap, straddling him would be the better term. He raised an eyebrow as her arms wrapped around his neck. God she was a confusing woman! What woman wasn't actually..?

"I didn't push you away, didn't smack you silly." She whispered, a slight pout on her lips.

What side of Natasha was this!? He'd definitely never seen it before! His hands went to hold onto her hips, just so she wouldn't slip off him.

"So why'd you stop..?" She whispered, this time alot closer to his lips though.

"You don't want that.." He whispered back, his forehead resting against hers now. "You made that pretty clear."

"That was then." Their lips were touching now, and it sent shivers down his spine. "This is different Clint.."

"Why?" Confusion was an understatement now. Damn that laugh of hers was infectious.. Confused as he was he couldn't help but smile at her.

"That was so many months ago, Barton.." She whispered softly, one of her hands moving up to play with the loose hair at the back of his neck. "Somethings change.."

"Like..?" He pushed, his throat going dry at what was happening. Definitely had to be a dream.

"Like, oh, I dunno.." She hummed, the fake hum she did when he was in trouble.

This time, there was no yelling, no anger, quite the opposite.

This time, there were soft lips on his, a gentle kiss, dare he say a loving kiss that melted his heart. And she was the one who started it.

One minute passed. He didn't care. Two minutes passed, he still kissed her. Near the three minutes, she finally pulled away for some air.

"Like maybe the fact I love you.." She whispered to his lips, and that definitely stopped his heart.

She loved him..

She actually loved him!

"Love you too, little hawk.." Swam around his head. Did something happen last night..?

"Nat.." He whispered in shock, and she just grinned at him.

"I know.." She smiled, her hand now running through his hair. "I know what I said before.. But dammit Clint, you're too much of a charmer sometimes.."

She loved him.

That thought made him reconnect their kiss, this time not as gentle, this one was full of passion, full of lord only knows how many years of pent up feeling.

This was one that he'd been holding back for too long, and as their tongues wrestled for dominance in the kiss, he felt a calmness he never knew existed wash over him.

_"I know you love her.." Stark drunkenly slurred, both men barely able to hold themselves up. "But dude, it's a lost cause!"_

_"I dunno!" Clint laughed, hiccuping then so violently it nearly made him fall. He held onto Stark for support, Stark on him for the same reason. "Things seem d-d-different!"_

_"You're so stubborn!" Tony yelled, growling at the archer. "She doesn't love anyone!"_

_"Maybe! But I love her! Mark my words, she'll love me one day and you can be best man at the wedding!"_

Her voice broke his memories from last night, dammit he never thought that day would be today!

"Clint.." She whispered his name breathlessly after what seemed like an eternity, though she still gave him little kisses. "One last night together.. I leave for who knows how long tomorrow.. Let's do this.. Come play.."

Her words sent shivers down his spine, was this really happening?

Was she actually suggesting this?

He didn't dare ask in case she changed her mind, he simply stood with her in his arms, her legs wrapping around his waist.

He kissed her all the way to his bedroom, not giving her a moment to reconsider. Once inside, he kicked the door closed behind them and went straight to the bed.

Carefully, he lay her on the bed, climbing over her, hands either side of her head for support as he went about kissing along her jaw and neck line.

Her little sounds egged him on, a little mix of a groan and sigh, the best thing he ever heard. Well, so far.

His shirt and jeans were off in an instant, his bulge beginning to poke at the fabric of his boxers.

He expertly removed her shirt, leaving her in just her bra as he went to attend to her own pair of jeans.

"Clint.." She half moaned, half whispered, making him stop in her attack on her neck and his hands pause at their work. She cupped his cheeks and pulled him up to her, giving him a soft, loving kiss. One that made his arms weak.

"Not like the other times.." She whispered to his lips, her eyes scanning his own.

He knew what she meant. This wasn't the first time they were in this position, after all.

Nights they'd be too drunk to know what day it was, it happened. Times they were undercover as a couple, being watched in their apartment, it happened. It's happened easily five or six times before.

But they were always rough and fast, always with regret, always while having anything else in their mind, anything at all rather than the other person. They always spent three or four days not looking each other in the eye. They knew it was part of the job, but never liked accepting it. That's not saying it wasn't good, wasn't enjoyable during the time, but it wasn't love.

"Don't fuck me.." She whispered, and he could see the sincerity in her eyes. They were soft, the most beautiful green he's ever seen. How many days has it been since he looked at them..? "Make love to me.."

Those four words turned him on more than anything ever could.

With a smile, he nodded, his hands leaving her jeans to instead cup her cheeks, giving her a soft kiss that went on for as long as he could manage.

"I love you, Tash.." He whispered, his hands finally going to pull down her jeans. "So, for you, anything.."

And so began, what will forever be known as, the best night he ever had.

So began the night Natasha Romanoff proved her love for Clint Barton.

\----------

The soft 'click' of the front door was what stirred him from his sleep.

He groaned a little and pulled his eyes together before they peeked open. They had to adjust to the early morning light, but even while adjusting he knew his bedmate was gone.

He sighed softly and brought a hand up rub his eyes, sitting up in his bed then with a slight grunt.

It had been a rough night..

Sure, he went slow and gentle, he gave his all to Natasha. But the next three rounds definitely couldn't be classed as 'making love' at all.

He grinned at the memory as he glanced around, stretching his limbs to get rid of the aches.

5:33 am.. Her 'wheels up' was 6:50am. Good thing he snuck his gift into her bag, otherwise there was no telling when she'd get the little necklace! He had no clue when he'd see her again after all.

He paused when he spotted the stack of pancakes on the dresser, a note in Natasha's handwriting leaning against the glass of orange juice accompanying the breakfast.

He picked it up and read it over a few times, each time he did, his grin grew bigger.

"Clint,  
Didn't have the heart to wake you. That, and I knew you wouldn't let me leave if I did!  
Don't worry about me. I'll check in when I can.  
Your new handler will be there at 12pm. Play nice, take your meds, be Hawkeye!  
Love you, little Hawk. So much.  
-Tash x"

Though, that wasn't the part that made him grin..

"P.S. Now THAT definitely reminded me of Budapest, big guy! ;)"

He laughed to himself and fell back to lie down, the note hugged close to his chest as he stared at the ceiling.

Natasha Romanoff..

It was always her.

Always going to be her who stole his heart.

He could never love anyone this much. He never wanted to.

He loved Natasha Romanoff, and that's all he cared about.


	22. 22

She checked on her partner once more that day, easily the fifth or sixth time. He was still just happily snoozing away.

It made her smile though, just how peaceful he looked. Even though it was already past 1pm, and she knew he'd be annoyed about half the day being gone, but he needed to rest the hangover off and she really didn't want to listen to him!

She busied herself for the day. Finished packing, cleaned up her room, planning on leaving later tonight to sleep on base instead of having to get up early tomorrow morning.

Currently, she was fixing up a proper breakfast for the idiot in the bedroom. She hadn't heard anything at all from the other two. Steve would be fine, he was sober as a judge when he left last night. It was Tony she was worried about! She knew from her time working with him that he can't handle his alcohol well at all!

She was plating up a fry when the bracelet beeped, letting her know his aids weren't picking up a pulse.

Definitely not dead, idiot probably just took them out.

She sighed and went to his room once again, smiling a little when she noticed him curled up under the blankets.

No hearing, no sight. She didn't want to shake him, that would startle him too much. Morse code could work, if he remembered the training.

It was her best option!

She went over and sat gently on the bed, beginning to tap on his arms.

"Hawk, you actually alive?" She gently tapped, no answer coming right away. Just as she was about to tap again, he spoke.

"Wish I wasn't." He responded with a chuckle, a little slurred though. From no aids or hangover, she couldn't tell.

She smiled though, at least he was up for joking!

"Up then. Pain killers and breakfast are on the table." A pause again, and she couldn't help but chuckle a little. Most people would catch code as easy as that in no time. He really needed to do the course again!

She suddenly met his bloodshot eyes, and she couldn't help but smile down at him.

Some point during the night, he stripped his top off. His sandy blond hair was dishevelled like crazy, giving him a rather cute look. He had a slight bruise on his cheek, and she had to hold back a laugh as she remembered how he got it.

He was looking like hell, but he still made her happier than anyone ever could.

And those abs.. Umph.. They didn't hurt the eyes, that's for sure!

"Sign please." He whispered with a smile, she just had to roll her eyes. Good lord he was such a useless agent! How he stayed in SHIELD so long, she'd never know!

"Pain killers and breakfast on the table." She signed and amused smile crossing her face so he'd know she wasn't mad or annoyed.

That was the issue with this form of communication, it relied on signs and symbols, so tones such as amusement, worry, sarcasm, or even anger were useless. They had to be conveyed with facial expressions and hand speed. One of the reasons it was difficult to master, one of the reasons she rarely had a passive mask on around Clint, just in case he couldn't hear the joke in her voice letting him know something angry was actually just a tease. She grabbed his aids and took the liberty of putting them back in for him, this was too difficult for his mind right now.

"Thanks Tash." He smiled when they were back in place, and she simply responded by ruffling his hair and getting off the bed.

"I'll give you five to wake up properly." She said as she left, softly closing the door behind her.

She paused behind the door with a soft smile, humming then as she went back to the kitchen.

Today was going to be a good day!

\----------

How could he..?

Two pancakes were in his mouth right now, and she could only watch in shock.

How was it even humanly possible!? How was he not choking!? How was she still sitting across from him so willingly..?

"How do you make this better than any American woman!?" Clint cheered with a grin before he shoved yet another pancake in his mouth, she couldn't do anything other than laugh. He wasn't human, it was official.

"They're not just an American thing, Clint."

He gave a sound of understanding and gulped down some coffee, looking a hell of alot better since that was his third cup and the pain killers should have been taking effect. Another pancake was soon in his mouth.

When he left the room, he genuinely looked like death warmed up. It was a little after 2pm, he slept for 10 hours, didn't seem to do him any good though! Coffee was helping, coffee always helped.

What greeted him on the table was fruit, a fry up, a giant pot of coffee, pancakes, and of course a nice medley of all his pills! Fury had him on so many, three for anxiety, two for PTSD, a different pallet of pain killers, she didn't know how he functioned daily from them all.

20 minutes later, three apples, the fry, and two stacks of pancakes, he was seemed pretty damn happy, so she didn't care about much else!

"Went hard last night, huh?" Natasha asked as Clint finally settled back in his chair, a happy sigh escaping his lips.

"Go hard or go home.. The amount of times Stark said that was in the millions."

"I don't think anyone's heard from him today." She chuckled, standing to go wash up his breakfast dishes.

"Doesn't surprise me. Seems like we went a little mad." She could hear the smile in his voice, her eyes staying on the dishes though. She nodded a little, Steve had mentioned something like that last night alright. "Don't remember past challenging Cap."

"You don't?" She asked in shock, nearly dropping the plate she was washing. She couldn't hide the surprise and, lord help her, hurt from her tone. He didn't remember anything. That meant he didn't remember their kiss..

"Well, no." He laughed, causing her to frown a little bit. The ass.. "I must've forgot that guy can't get drunk. I bet my ass that he drank me under the table five times over."

"You were in quite the state." She whispered through a slight laugh, she couldn't be mad at him, wasn't his fault, it's not the first time drink wiped his mind. "Your usual flirty self."

He laughed at that, she'd bet anything on the fact he had a blush right now. He always did when she'd remind him of the flirting, the occasional groping, the inevitable slap from her.

"Is that why my cheek hurts?" He asked through a chuckle."Did you clock me again?"

"Not this time, big boy." She had turned to grin at him, drying her hands on a tea towel.

He raised an eyebrow. Oh she was looking forward to this reaction!

"Girl in the bar?" He asked cautiously, and her grin just got bigger.

"Kind of.. Biker guy in the bar."

He groaned and let his head fall onto the table, gently banging it over and over. "How do I always manage that!?"

She laughed at that, going over to rub his back in small circles. The idiot. "We'll get you some flashcards so you can tell the difference next time."

He growled a little at her teasing, and it just made her laugh that little more.

"Smart ass.."

\----------

He eventually got up and went for a shower, so she took the time to clean around the apartment for him.

He wouldn't do it, she knew that, and his new handler was coming tomorrow so she wasn't going to have him make a bad impression!

When the place was spotless, she went to her room, sitting on the bed to relax a while.

Her hand went into her dressing gown pocket where she felt the edges of a little book, the little diary.

She smiled a little and took it out, flicking through the pages of her partners writing.

It calmed her down, knowing that his thoughts were all here. Knowing his memories, the times they shared, the good and the bad, were all here in his view.

She had a good read of it last night, and all the stories were just amazing. He's had some life!

She knew she should put it back, but she was leaving tomorrow, leaving him for the first time in months, she couldn't be without some part of him..

She looked to the door when she heard movement, an eyebrow slightly raised. What was he up to?

She got up, took off her gown so she was in her clothes, hid the book under the gown, and went out to check on him.

He wasn't in his room, not in the sitting room or kitchen. The balcony was clear and the bathroom door was wide opened.

Did he leave? No, she would have heard the door.

Confused, she scratched the back of her head. Until she heard some sounds that were all too familiar.

Thump. Thump thump. Thump thump thump WHACK!

She grinned and headed for the training room door, opening it softly to peek in. When she realised he didn't notice her, she slipped in and stood by the back wall to watch her partner do what he does best.

Shoot.

He was finally back at it.

And it looked like he hadn't missed a beat!

At blinding speed, target after target went down. His hand didn't pause in it's movements until the targets had stopped moving.

She sneakily used the computer screen to increase the difficulty, over and over again, until it was maxed.

She was shocked, he didn't miss a beat even then, each hit was perfect..

"It's weird. Everytime I go too slow, I get punched. Everytime I drop an arrow, I get kicked. When I don't hit the centre, the prod burns an x into my arm. The pain makes it more difficult, how am I to learnt this way?"

She shook her head a little, trying to clear the passage from his book out of her head. Even learning the thing he loves, the thing that keeps him alive, he had a rough shit time doing.. Learning a skill should be a fun and exciting time.

None of that mattered now. He was safe, he was here and perfect. He was Hawkeye.

And from the looks of it, Hawkeye was back and better than ever.

When he finally stopped, she couldn't help but applaud, a slight grin on her face.

Silly mistake, she shouldn't have startled him like that, because an arrow was once again trained on her head.

"Easy tiger." She chuckled, advancing as he lowered the bow. "Pretty impressive."

"Kinda what I do.." He whispered, he sounded out of breath from the exercise he just did. He does have a tendency of pushing a little too hard.

"Mmmmhm." She hummed, smiling as she took the arrow from his hand. She examined it carefully, trying to figure out if it was one of his trick ones or not.

"Something I can help you with?"

"Not really. Just heard you in here and wanted to watch." She smiled, twirling the arrow in her hands.

He smiled and nodded, thinking for a moment then.

She raised an eyebrow when he just stared at the arrow in her hands, worried he was having another flashback. Maybe that was it, maybe he couldn't really shoot while she was around.

She really hoped that wasn't the case.. If it was, then they wouldn't be able to go on missions with eachother again. She couldn't handle that.

"Wanna try?" He suddenly said, confusing her.

"Try what?" She asked with an eyebrow raised, her mouth forming an 'o' shape when he held the bow out to her.

"It's easy, I promise."

She gave him a shy smile, not expecting it. She took the bow regardless and stepped up to the mark. Targeted shooting dummies soon dropped from the ceiling, and she suddenly felt nervous. Bow's were from the ancient years, she doesn't even think she ever held one before! He never let her near them..

"Don't think you've ever let me touch your bow." She said with an amused smile, and he just shrugged.

She felt him stand behind her, and she had to grin. He was going to help her. Good. She didn't want to look like a complete joke!

"Difficult to draw back at first." He started, lifting her arm up and positioning her hand so the bow was upright.

"How the hell do you carry this around..?" She whispered, the damn thing was heavy, even more so in this position! How the hell did he stand like this during fights?

"Used to it." He chuckled, one of his hands now over the one of hers that was holding the bow. He reached down and took her right hand, the one still holding the arrow, and helped her neck it.

"Your body will naturally twist, just let it.." He whispered in her ear, helping her to pull back the arrow. Just as he said, both of them turned the same way, the correct shooting position. She was little busy focusing on breathing right now though, he was so close, and his breath on her ear just gave her shivers.

"Fingertips should be by your lips,wrist in line with your elbow, better aim then.." He whispered and she nodded, their arms shifting a little so they were the way he described. "Then, pop.."

He could see what he meant, the place she wanted it to go was right on her finger line.

The arrow went flying, and she made a content sound as it dug itself into the dummy. Not bad for her first shot! At least it hit the mark!

Another arrow was quickly in her hand, he had drawn it from the quiver on his back, repeating the process three, four, five more times. Each time, it would find a different target on the body.

On the last one, he just handed her an arrow, staying close behind her but not guiding her this time. The arrow went right through the dummy's heart, which shocked her more than anything! That was without his help.. Damn..

"Not bad.." He whispered, hands falling to hold onto her hips. She didn't seem to mind the action..

She looked over her shoulder at him, head tilting up a bit since he was slightly taller. She was smiling at him.

"Not a bad teacher." She whispered, a smirk spreading across his lips as he started to lean down.

"Oh, I could teach you a thing or two.." He whispered through his smirk, giving her one of her own.

"Pretty sure you could.."

He suddenly stopped, which really confused her. Were they not about to kiss? Did she say the wrong thing or something?

Slowly, he pulled away, rubbing the back of his neck with a grin, leaving his quiver by her feet. "Just leave it on the bench when you're done, alright?"

He left before she could answer, leaving her standing with a confused as fuck face. What the hell was that about!?

She frowned a little and went to pack away his bow, trying to figure the whole thing out. Did she actually want what was about to happen?

Of course she did..

_~"Everything ok with him?" Steve asked with a smile, and she nodded, her cheeks still a little pink from the kiss moments before._

_She sat down on the sofa opposite the Captain with a soft smile. "The idiot's fine."_

_"What's with that look?" Steve grinned, head tilted a little. "Natasha Romanoff, are you blushing?"_

_"Am not!" She growled, throwing a cushion at him, but that just made him laugh._

_"He actually kiss you? He's been going on about it all night!"_

_She froze at his words. Was he now? All night? She didn't think he spoke to people like that.._

_"I dunno about you.." He started, suddenly serious. "But he really loves you. He's a good guy, don't drag him along if you don't love him."_

_She just smiled at the captain. She did love him. She loved him so damn much. Maybe Steve was right, maybe it was about time she showed it instead. "Don't worry Steve.. I won't.."_

_"Good! You two need to be happy!"#_

She sighed at the memory of last night, shaking her head to try get rid of it. She was trying to show it, trying to let him know how she felt, but god damn it he was a idiot!

Maybe it isn't subtlety he needs.. This IS Clint after all, the densest agent in SHIELD. Ok, he was pretty smart, but still!

She left the training room to go find him, knowing when something got him down or he needed space it was the balcony he went to.

She smiled a little when she saw him, relaxed back in a plastic chair and his head back a little. No doubt he had his eyes closed, she loved sun sets but he could take them or leave them. She should have left him alone, but she had to do this before she left..

She opened the door as softly as possible and went up behind him, gently wrapping her arms around his shoulders.

"What's up Clint? My face scare you?" She whispered, her chin resting gently on his shoulder.

"Oh it gives me nightmares each night." He chuckled quietly, his hand coming up to rest on her arms, she noticed his eyes watching the sun set.

"Well believe it." She laughed, quietly though since she was right by his ears. They were sensitive on a non hangover day. "But I do believe you were about to start something in there.."

She felt him stiffen a little, and she had to grin a bit. Yes, Clint, those words did just come out! Don't be an idiot and ruin it!

"Well.." He started, though he soon stopped, she guessed the words escaped him.

She sighed gently and moved around to sit on his lap, straddling him would be the better term. He raised an eyebrow as her arms wrapped around his neck.

"I didn't push you away, didn't smack you silly." She whispered, a slight pout on her lips.

She had to be direct. Had to be the Natasha no one has ever seen. Had to be the caring person she was holding back if she had any hopes of this working..

"So why'd you stop..?" She whispered, this time alot closer to his lips though.

"You don't want that.." He whispered back, his forehead resting against hers now. "You made that pretty clear."

"That was then." Their lips were touching now, and it sent shivers down her spine. "This is different Clint.."

"Why?" The confusion in his voice made her laugh. Damn he was thick! He smiled though, and it made her relax.

"That was so many months ago, Barton.." She whispered softly, one of her hands moving up to play with the loose hair at the back of his neck. "Somethings change.."

"Like..?" He pushed. Here we go, Natasha.. Tell him the truth, let him know before it's too late!

"Like, oh, I dunno.." She hummed, the fake hum she did when he was in trouble.

This time, there was no yelling, no anger, quite the opposite.

This time, there were soft lips on his, a gentle kiss, the most loving kiss she could possibly muster. It came so naturally around him though.

One minute passed. She didn't care. Two minutes passed, she still kissed him. Near the three minutes, she finally pulled away for some air.

"Like maybe the fact I love you.." She whispered to his lips, her heart beating to the dozen at the confession.

She loved him.

She finally let him know.

"Nat.." He whispered in shock, and she just grinned at him.

"I know.." She smiled, her hand now running through his hair. She knew exactly what was going through his mind. Best thing about being partners so long. "I know what I said before.. But dammit Clint, you're too much of a charmer sometimes.."

She loved him.

She was shocked when he reconnected their kiss, this time not as gentle, this one was full of passion, full of lord only knows how many years of pent up feeling.

This one made her weak, made her want him so much more, made her love him so much more. This was what she wanted. She needed him to know how much he meant to her. She'd be gone for a while, she couldn't have him forgetting her.

"Clint.." She whispered his name breathlessly after what seemed like an eternity, though she still gave him little kisses, unable to hold back now. "One last night together.. I leave for who knows how long tomorrow.. Let's do this.. Come play.."

Her words actually shocked her. Was this actually happening?

Was she actually suggesting this?

He didn't ask anymore, he simply stood with her in his arms, her legs wrapping around his waist so she wouldn't fall.

He kissed her all the way to his bedroom, not giving her a moment to reconsider. Once inside, he kicked the door closed behind them and went straight to the bed.

Carefully, he lay her on the bed, climbing over her, hands either side of her head for support as he went about kissing along her jaw and neck line.

She couldn't hold back the sounds that escaped, this was actually happening. His lips were on her skin, on her neck, teasing and nibbling.

This wasn't like the other guys she was with, these were caring kisses, these were soft and gentle, these were for her and not for his ego.

His shirt and jeans were off in an instant, the bulge beginning to poke at the fabric of his boxers making her bite her lower lip.

Dammit, she needed him right now..

He expertly removed her shirt, leaving her in just her bra as he went to attend to her own pair of jeans.

"Clint.." She half moaned, half whispered, making him stop in her attack on her neck and his hands pause at their work. She cupped his cheeks and pulled him up to her, giving him a soft, loving kiss.

They've been here before. On missions, on drunken nights. They were good times, but they were rushed and unloving. They were two people either drunkenly horny or trying to convince people of their identities. They weren't actions of people in love, they were actions of desperation. She didn't want that here, and the speed he was going made her think that's what was happening.

"Not like the other times.." She whispered to his lips, her eyes scanning his own.

The realisation that crossed them let her know he knew what she meant.

"Don't fuck me.." She whispered, being as sincere as she could possibly be. "Make love to me.."

With a smile, he nodded, his hands leaving her jeans to instead cup her cheeks, giving her a soft kiss that went on for as long as he could manage.

Dammit, it made her so weak..

"I love you, Tash.." He whispered, his hands finally going to pull down her jeans. "So, for you, anything.."

And so began, what will forever be known as, the best night she ever had.

So began the night Natasha Romanoff proved her love for Clint Barton.

\----------

She was beyond sore in the morning.

She proved her love, he proved his, but holy crap the next three rounds made walking a difficult task!

The soft smile on her partners lips that morning made it all worth it though. She lay in his arms, her head on his chest, for as long as she could, trying to remember everything, the beat of his heart, his scent, the way his chest rose and fell. But duty, unfortunately, called, and she had to get ready for the mission.

Before she moved, she turned his aids off, not wanting to stir him. She knew he'd beg her to stay and she wouldn't be able to refuse.

She made him breakfast, cleaned once more, and left him a note. Before she left range, she turned back on his aids and left the apartment, hopefully not for the last time.

An hour later, and here she was, sitting in a jet on her way to SHIELD HQ. She hated the main building, but it had to be done!

She sighed softly as she sat down, looking through her bag for his little book to have something to read, she made sure to pack it this morning.

Something else hit her hand though, something she didn't recognise.

Pulling it out, it proved to be a jewellers bag. Confused, she looked inside, a long thin box and a card inside.

She took the card out and opened it, making sure no one was around before reading it.

She grinned.

"Tash,  
I know you may not feel the same way, I know you may kill me for this.  
But, I love you so much Nat.  
Thank you for the past few months, they've been by far the best in my life.  
Be safe out there please, and come back in one piece. You owe me a night out drinking.  
Oh, and find Cap a date please! Tony reckons he hasn't been laid since the 40's!  
Please don't forget me.  
Love you Tash.  
Clint"

She didn't even bother with the book anymore.

The whole hour and a half flight to the HQ she just read over the last line of his note. 'Love you Tash.'

She realised before touch down that she never opened the box. With a curious pout, she did so, and laughed at what was inside.

A small chain necklace, petite little thing, with an arrow charm in the centre.

Only Hawkeye..

She loved it though, and it instantly went onto her neck and probably wouldn't be off for some time!

Two things were clear in her mind as she touched down.

Number one; she'd have to do anything now to find Captain America a date.

Number two; she loved that idiot archer more than words could describe.

She loved Clint Barton. She always will.


	23. 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter!   
> Thanks for sticking with it :)  
> Others will follow soon!

"I don't understand how something like this could happen.." The doctor frowned in confusion, looking from the patient to the chart and back again a few times.

"Simple mugging, I promise.." He hissed out, jaw clenched as a nurse stitched up his chest.

Something had happened. One minute, he was on a simple undercover job. The next, he was in a fight for his life. SHIELD had been compromised, that's the only explanation, otherwise they wouldn't have known everything..

_~A cold splash of water woke him from the haze, another following, then another, all making him gasp for air. He brought his hands to his face and rubbed at them, trying to clear it of the freezing substance._

_"So, what's your name?" His attacker said softly, kneeling infront of the fallen agent with a far too friendly smile._

_Clint struggled for a moment on the ground, the dizziness and vomit feeling making sure he knew he had a concussion._

_"I told you.." He began, eyes screwing shut at the white hot pain. "Paul Manning.."_

_A kick to the ribs sent him flying across the ground, when he coughed he swore he tasted blood. The attacker stalked closer to him._

_Five months undercover and he never saw this guy around Mandez. Must be new. And he now knew why he was hired. He had a mean kick._

_Clint rolled onto his back into a defensive position, trying to spot any weakness._

_He was left speechless though when a piece of paper was shoved in his face._

_His SHIELD file.._

_His name, rank, expertise, the same file Tony looked at all those years ago, was in his hands._

_"Where did yo.." Another kick meant he couldn't finish, the heel of the army boots currently worn by his attacker being held on his throat._

_"Seems someone decided to spill your secrets all over the internet." He smirked, dropping the paper to pull a knife from his waistband. It was quickly dragged across his chest, making Clint bite back a scream. He wouldn't give the asshole the satisfaction! The blood quickly pooled around him, his chest stinging and on fire all at the same time as the man leaned closer. "So, lets not play, alright? Boss ain't happy with having a mole in his high ranks.. Name. Details. Now."_

_He weighed his options, deciding since they knew everything anyways, there was nothing left to lose. He sighed and let his head fall back, defeated. What the hell was going on..?_

_"Clinton Francis Barton.."~_

He spilled everything to him, not leaving any detail out, then when he was distracted with the more personal stuff, Clint snapped his neck in two and threw the body down some nearby cliff.

Something major happened if his whole file was online. And he needed to find out what.

The nurse and doctor had left him alone once he was patched up, now just lying in a hospital bed waiting for the drugs to wear off. God this sucked!

"...You belong in a penitentiary, not mouthing off on capitol hill."

He hated that guy. The TV in the corner was playing quietly, but even then that officers voice made his stomach coil. They never knew anything, yet told soldiers how to conduct themselves.

"You're not going to put me in a prison.."

His head snapped up at the voice, eyes wide as he watched the screen. He'd know it anywhere.

"Tash.." He whispered in disbelief, a small smile crossing his face. It was Natasha, she was ok, she looked perfect. Holy crap he missed those eyes so much..

He missed the next few words, but he grinned at her cheeky "Y'know why?"

The suits didn't look to happy about that.

"Because you need us.."

Yes, he seriously needed her..

He pulled out his IV and sat up on the edge of the bed, going around the room to find some clothes of his. He needed to find her.

"Arrest me.. You'll know where to find me."

Will he though..? His head spun a little as he slipped on a shirt from his duffel bag, damn concussion.. America was a big place, and he was stuck in DC! How was he to know where to find her!?

Wait.. Capitol Hill.

He smirked to himself and slipped on some shoes, practically running out of the hospital even though it hurt every muscle in his body.

Capitol Hill is in DC..

She was in DC..

Her apartment, that was his best bet right now!

He hailed a taxi outside of the hospital and gave the address, now unable to keep the grin from his face.

He was going to see Natasha..

After so long, he was going to see his love again.

\----------

She parked the car by the cemetery gates, sighing softly as she took a moment to herself.

Now she knew why Stark hated those tribunals. They were a bunch of asses who were never through a fight in their lives.

She got through it though, and now she had to help Steve out one last time.

She grabbed the file from the passenger seat and stepped out, making her way through the headstones to where she said she'd meet Steve and Sam.

Good thing he was up, he only woke three days ago, most people would still be in hospital with the injuries he suffered, but she guessed that was one of the many upsides to the serum running through his veins.

She smiled when she noticed Fury leave, hearing just the end of their conversation.

"You should be honoured." She grinned as she approached the guys, Steve turning to look at the new voice. "That's as close as he gets to saying thank you."

Steve smiled at her and started walking to meet her half way. "Not going with him?"

She snickered a little. Definitely not. She had her own mission to attend to. "No.."

"Not staying here." Steve stated, not asked, through a smile.

"Nuh-uh." She smiled, pausing a moment. She didn't know if that was true, she didn't know where her next mission would lead to, but she had to think of the right excuse to give Steve.

A simple "I put my partner in so much fucking danger so I have to find him." would only worry the Captain.

"I blew all my covers, I gotta go figure out a new one." She said quickly, shifting on her feet.

"Might take a while." That school teacher voice, he knew she was lying, but he didn't seem to push on it. It was half true though.

She wanted a new cover, a new life. She wanted one with Clint. She wanted to spend as much time as possible with him.

So it taking a while would suit her down to the ground.

"I'm counting on it.." She smirked, remembering the file tucked under her arm then. "That thing you asked for, pulled in a few favours from Kiev."

She handed him the file, but he really didn't look happy about it.

She couldn't hide the grin though, Steve and Clint had the same puppy 'The fuck is going on with my life' look..

Steve and Clint..

Oh shit, the one thing Clint asked her to do on this mission she fucked up! She never did find Cap a date!

"Will you do me a favour?" She asked with a smile, and he looked to her like she was serious. "Call that nurse?"

"She's not a nurse." He replied with an amused smile.

She shrugged "And you're not a SHIELD agent."

He didn't seem to think an argument was needed, she wondered if he really did want to call her.

"What was her name again?" He asked with a confused face.

Maybe not.. If he couldn't remember her name, he was fucked!

"Sharon.." She nodded, they'd look good together! And Clint would be proud that she got the Captain someone to bone. "She's nice."

A silence fell, but the past two years it was never an awkward silence between them.

It was going to be strange, not working with him every day again. He had become her distraction, her way out, her way to forget things. He had saved her so many times. He was like her substitute Hawkeye while Hawkeye was finding himself again..

She smiled and leaned in to kiss his cheek, a little thank you for the past while, turning to leave then.

"Be careful, Steve." She said softly, turning to look at him once more. "Might not wanna pull on that thread.."

She was gone then, walking away to leave Rogers start whatever mission he had.

It was a difficult one, and she didn't want him hurting.

Now, she had her own one to complete.

She had to pack up her stuff, get out of DC, and find Clint.

She needed to find her love again.

\----------

Why oh why didn't her apartment block have an elevator!? And why was she on the fifth floor!? Did she enjoy these walks at six in the morning or something!?

He puffed out a breath when he finally made it to her door, taking a moment to catch his breath before knocking.

Nothing.

He knocked again, still nothing.

One more time. Not even a bit of movement in the place.

He pouted a little, she should have been here and all by now. Unless she isn't coming home..

She should be. She wouldn't leave like that. She shouldn't leave like that.

He stood on his tip-toes for a moment and felt along the door frame, knocking down and catching the key that was there.

This was Nat though, it wasn't that simple!

He went over to the supply closet, unlocked it with the key, moved aside some paint buckets to find the safe.

He scanned his finger in it and took out the little box from the now opened safe.

He grinned a little, not done yet! He put in the code and took the little key in there.

She was so paranoid sometimes..

He put everything back how it was and went to her door, unlocking it and stepping inside.

It was pretty chilly inside, meaning she hadn't been home in a few days. He really needed to know what happened!

He went over and turned the heating on to warm the place up a bit, glancing around to see if she had, in fact, left.

No, things were still too perfect. She always trashed a place when she abandoned it, a trick the Red Room apparently thought her, give the chasers less chance of finding out where you've gone.

Used to drive Phil mad when he'd assign them a safe house only to find it destroyed afterwards!

He pouted a little, rubbing his sore ribs gently. One was definitely broken, the way they bandaged him up told him that much. He had no idea what to do without her here!

He was tired though, so he went and made himself a cup of coffee, went to the balcony, settled himself in a sun chair, turned on his MP3, and waited.

Nothing else to do, really.

\----------

She was tired, that was for sure. She could barely drag herself up the five flight of stairs to her apartment.

Maybe her mission could start tomorrow. Right now, she just wanted a glass of red, a bubble bath, and a nice book.

She grinned a little, her fingers tracing the arrow pendent around her neck. She hasn't read his in a while.. Maybe that would relax her more than anything.

She paused when she noticed light streaming from the door of her apartment. No, she always made sure the lights were off.

Curious, she snuck up to the door and examined it for any break in attempt.

Nothing, not even a little bit of splintered wood..

Maybe she was just losing her a mind a little bit. Still though, her address was now on the internet so she couldn't take any chances. She took the gun from her waist band and held it up, slowly and quietly unlocking the door and stepping in.

No attack yet.

She stalked around her own apartment, checking each room to make sure there were no intruders. Then doing it again just to be doubly sure.

Nothing.

There was a stale coffee smell hanging in the air, that was about it.

Movement caught her eye through the sliding door as she passed, someone's feet were resting on the railing of her balcony.

Surely an assassin wouldn't just take a break, would they..?

A trap maybe?

She went as slow as possible and carefully opened the sliding door, gun trained at where the intruders head would be behind the sun chair.

Her bracelet beeped and she looked at it in shock, not hearing that sound in two years now.

'MP3 OFF?' flashed up, a message Stark installed to let her know Clint wasn't actually listening to her.

Clint..

She looked from the bracelet to the sun chair in shock before hitting the off button on the mp3.

She let out a shocked laugh when the intruders wrist raised up, the bracelet clearly visible to her.

"Clint.." She whispered in shock, and the chair spun to reveal her partner looking pretty confused.

She couldn't help it, couldn't hold back the feelings.

With a happy laugh, she lunged, gun dropped to the ground as she clung to her partner.

It was Clint!

He found her!

\----------

To say Barton was shocked would be an understatement. This wasn't the kind of attack from Natasha he was used to at all!

Though, the kind he was used to quickly came when she smacked him across the head.

"Ow!" He complained, his eyes closed as he rubbed the back of his head. He opened his eyes to see the glare of his partner.

"Where the hell have you been Clint Barton!?" She yelled, and he flinched a little. God, she was mad..

"I was never far.." He whispered, flinching a little when she went to hit him again. She didn't though, instead he felt a hand gently stroke his cheek.

"You have no idea how worried I was.." She whispered, leaning in so her forehead was resting against his.

He smiled a little sadly at that, his eyes closing as he wrapped his arms around her.

He missed her scent, he never knew anyone could miss a scent but now that she's here he realised he seriously missed it!

"Sorry Tash.." He whispered, not really nor really willing to go into the past two years without her just yet.

A kiss silenced any more apologies her may have had, and he swore his heart just leapt into the Earth's orbit at the contact.

They kissed, and kissed, and kissed some more. Some gentle, some loving, some needy, and the odd cheeky one thrown in.

Easily five minutes passed before they broke away, only because he was really struggling to breathe.

\----------

She raised an eyebrow at his quick breathing, it wasn't THAT intense a kissing session, was it?

She pouted slightly when he smiled a little lopsided at her, and she finally allowed herself to take in his features.

Bags under his eyes, slightly matted hair, a nice dominant bruise forming on his jaw.

Oh god.. He got compromised.

In an instant she had his shirt lifted up, exposing the bandages around his body.

"Want my clothes off so bad, just ask." She wasn't looking at his face but she could hear the smirk in his voice.

Dammit, he made her blush.. She really did want them off now.. Those abs, even bandaged up, got to her everytime..

"What happened..?" She whispered, running a finger along the edges of the bandage. There was a slight red tint in some parts, so he was really wounded then..

"Was kind of hoping you could tell me." He replied softly, causing her to look at him. "You were the one on Capitol Hill."

She groaned a little at the reminder, falling gently so she was lying against his chest, her ear over his heart to listen to the steady thump.

"That's a fairly loaded question, Hawk.."

"I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours.." He said after a moment of silence, his hand rubbing gentle circles on her back.

She really did want to know what he was up to for two years, it's crazy to think that this was the man she loved, the man just a few hours ago she decided to build a new life with, yet she knew nothing about him anymore.

They needed a really good catch up.

"I missed you, Clint.." She whispered as she closed her eyes, feeling more safe in his arms than anywhere in the past two years.

She heart a faint chuckle rip through his chest, and a smile crept onto her face as she wondered exactly what he was thinking.

"Missed you too.." He evetually whispered back, the feeling of his lips kissing the top of her head following.

They stayed silent, a comfortable silent, just one that let eachother know they were happy just holding one another.

They stayed like that until the sun set, and even past that. 2 hours later, 9pm or so, she could feel his breath hitch every other time, a clear signal he was cold but didn't want to admit it.

She moved up a little to give his lips a soft kiss, his eyes peeking open to look at her from, what she assumed was, a light doze he was having.

"It's cold, Clint.." She whispered, bringing a hand up to stroke his cheek. He was pretty warm, she'd have to get him some pain killers to help. "Let's go relax in bed, I'll tell you everything.."

He smiled and nodded in agreement, so she got up off him and offered her hand. When he took it and linked their fingers together, she led him into the warm apartment, straight to the bedroom.

She shot him a little grin when he kicked the door closed, the last time they were in a room alone playing through her mind.

This time would be different though, they had a lot to catch up on.

\----------

"..So I snapped his neck, pushed him over the hill we were on, and ran.." He finished his long winded story with a shrug, watching as his fingers played with hers.

They had spent the past few hours swapping the stories of the past two years. Just the interesting ones, she didn't need to hear about farmer Clint in his mind. They had started out sitting up beside eachother, wound up cuddling, now she was kind of lying down, kind of sitting up, with his head resting on her lap.

She had changed into some pyjamas, but he had nothing here so he was just in some boxers.

One hand was running gently through his hair as she listened, the other being held by him.

"Some old couple saw me, freaked out, and called an ambulance."

"Jesus Clint.." She whispered in slight shock, and he smiled a little, once more shrugging.

"I've had worse." He chuckled, looking up to her with a grin then, pointing to the nice big scar on his shoulder from her bullet. "Mostly from you."

"Yeah yeah, smart ass." She pouted, tugging his hair a little.

He laughed at that, sitting up properly so they were eye level.

"So what do we do now, with no SHIELD?" He asked with a smile, shifting so he was lying next to her once again.

She shrugged, turning on her side to curl up next to him, her head resting gently on his chest as her hand ran over the bandages.

"We have to start over."

"That doesn't sound easy." He chuckled, and she nodded.

"We can do it though.. We've been through tougher situations." She whispered, the smile evident in her voice.

With his free hand, he oh so gently tilted her chin up so she was looking at him. Those eyes melted his heart so many times.

"Build a new life then..?" He asked through a whisper, to which she nodded. "Me and you..?"

An eyebrow raised this time, and he figured she had no idea what he was getting at.

He grinned a little and leaned down to give her lips a soft kiss, whispering to them when he pulled back.

"Marry me, Nat."

Her eyes went wide and she pulled back so quickly it must have made her dizzy.

The reaction made him laugh his head off, sitting up on his elbows to smile at her.

"Not right away.. Relax.."

He could see her heartbeat at this rate! Jesus, he didn't think marrying him was such a bad idea!

"You're an ass, Clint Barton!" She growled, her hands covering her face as she fell back to lie down. Hiding her blush he figured.

He just laughed once more and moved to climb ontop of her, his hands taking hers and pinning them above her head.

He leaned down and gave her a firm, loving kiss, her lips instantly molding with his.

"Someday though.." He whispered to them, giving her a few more little kisses before continuing. "Someday we better marry.. I love you too much not to."

She dug her head in the mattress to look at him a little better, and a soft smile just kept tugging at her lips. Was she actually considering it..?

He let her hands go so she could cup his cheeks, this time she was the one who instigated the most loving kiss he'd ever recieved in his life.

"Sleep, little hawk.." She whispered, those weren't the words he wanted to hear!

Though, he was exhausted. It was well past 4am by now, nearly 24 hours since his last nap.

He nodded and gave her one last kiss before rolling off her, returning to their previous cuddling position as she pulled the blanket up over them.

"Someday.." She whispered after a while, just as he was drifting into a sleep. "We will. It's inevitable.. That's just how much I love you.."

The world of darkness took him too soon, he had no time to thank her for that promise.

The one thing he learned over the past few years, the world sucks. There's no way to change that. Situations suck, people suck, the world will never do you any favours.

New York broke him, the past two years killed him, but all those situations are nothing compared to what follows.

What follows kills men, breaks them down to their bare souls and destroys them more than the situation ever could. The only chance to avoid that is to have someone to help.

And he had the best someone, through it all, even the days they wouldn't talk, the years they spent apart, she was still in his head. She was still guiding him, helping him, getting through the days that seemed to have no end.

The world sucks. Situations sucks. But the only person he loved more than anything helped him through it all, she took his hand, took his heart, took his love, and helped him fight his way out of the one thing that would have ended his life. He loved her so damn much for it, and owed her more than he could ever dream of giving. Natasha Romanoff brought him clean out of the place men very rarely return, out of the aftermath.


End file.
